Sunday, April 26, 2009

Daily Doses of Divine Help

In my day to day life I must trust Spirit.

Everything that I am going through has had a purpose, though I may not like what that is, I realize that my circumstances are actually the answers to my prayers.

Those answers are not always delivered on the wings of a dove, more like the heavy hand behind a sledge hammer.

Yet when I really look, I am exactly where I need to be, to move me through to answer my prayers.

I was thinking about all the amazing gifts I have been given by Spirit as I go through my divorce.

Daily doses of divine help.

This midlife call to action and release, is, an answer to my prayer.

I prayed to do my work and share it with many, be free to live, love and learn to the greatest of my abilities, and to be supported by those that honor love and cherish me.

Spirit in its infinite wisdom would not let me be distracted any longer.

As I sat down to express this tonight, I immediately heard an old song that really does speak to my daily duties.

Paul Francis Websters song “ I’ll Walk With God”

I'll walk with God from this day on.His helping hand I'll lean upon.This is my prayer, my humble plea, May the Lord be ever with me.

There is no death, tho' eyes grow dim.There is no fear when I'm near to Him.I'll lean on Him forever,And He'll forsake me never.

He will not fail me,As long as my faith is strong,Whatever road I may walk along.

I'll walk with God, I'll take His hand.I'll talk with God, He'll understand.I'll pray to Him, each day to Him,And He'll hear the words that I say.

His hand will guide my throne and rod...And I'll never walk alone..While I walk with God.

May we all have the strength to see our daily doses of divine help.

Our Shadows Lurk

Peter Pan never wanted to grow up. He wanted to live in his imagination in a place called Neverland.

I never really understood the role of Peters shadow until I realized without light, there was no shadow to be seen. I also didnt understand that though Peter was a boy, he was always played on stage or TV by a woman, ie, Mary Martin, Cathy Rigby.

Perhaps, it was too on the nose to cast a boy in the role of Peter, or it was to strange to have a boy in those tights, or it was perfect as both sexes have problems with growing up.
I recently had dinner with a sweet woman who wanted to know what I thought of "the dark force". Oddly I thought of Peter.

There lurks within us all the light and dark natures of being human, when we get closer to the light, perhaps it brings out the shadow behind us , this shadow becomes our best friend, or foe as it haunts us, and perhaps threatens to "take us over', and if we were consumed by the dark we would be looking for that light to find our way home.

The boy Peter Pan who longed for adventure was nothing without his shadow, and when he lost it , he felt like he lost one of the greatest parts of himself.

A lost boy who needed Wendy a mother figure , and Tinkerbell his muse, to light his way. Younger , smarter versions of his image of self. The shadow lurked, needing to live on the heels of a boy who never wanted to grow up. As time marches on and the boy gets older he susses his options.

We all have moments when we can look to the light to shine our way, or fall into the shadows as Peter did, blaming others for our predicaments.

In the midlife crisis of a man/woman not being what he wanted to be, life not going the way he has felt entitled to; the boy is faced the the threat of being kicked out of his imagination, his world of make believe.

Some need to have children of their own, living their legacy out in the face of a child…or absorb into a younger version of themselves, a blank state where all the problems of the past can disappear. The point is the screaming inner child is the shadow of what is truly lurking. The boy is terrified to leave Neverland and really never does by virtue of keeping links to the lustrous past of a once exciting life.

It is the vitality of the young that feed the image of the old. Why not make peace with the dark and the light, knowing that it is always there in the duality of life?

Yet the youthful expression of life sometimes has to be remembered by the awkward fumblings in the back seat of a car, a weekend tryst, the taboo of being unfaithful, or reconnecting with memories that bring us back to life, but the elixir of life is not what reminds us of our shadow, it is the light that is ultimately shed on us.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Here Goes

I am ..On the edge… Uncomfortable.. Waiting… Trusting that I will not die when I jump.. Having faith that I will not hit the rocks ... Remembering that I can heal..My skin paper thin.. I write the book ...I tell the stories ...I share with you ...Noting else to do..

... but dive into my new life

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Whats In There?

When I wrote “”food in the Ice Box” on March 10, 2009, I had to reach out to others. They nourished and fed my heart and soul, not to mention my gut.
Now I am forced to see what’s in my own fridge.

Funny, I never noticed the light that emanates from within my Kennmore side by side .... until now.

Peering into my life to see what I can “cookup" or swallow....

Well it’s pretty empty.

That could be a great thing.

The 15 pounds I have lost will be terrific, if at 50, will I have the nerve to wear a bikini this summer?
The fact it is empty, means I am saving a s*** load of money because I am no longer buying for two.
My co –dependant nature of caring-like-a good-wife is an archetype that is on vacation, maybe never to return, except for the reminders of half full cans of nummies for my cat.
The most significant thing about it being empty, is that I can fill with what ever I like, the greatest of nutrition. The best,the most delicious or bland, exotic or take out, ….its up to me.
Different for every day, for as long as I have this fridge, which may not be too long,…
there are plenty more Ice boxes for me to peer into.

What ever in in there will be fresh, healthy, interesting, and probably crunchy.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

A Pattern of Legacy

Do you think the dog wants to wear the tutu?
I see how emotional, familial patterns are put on us. It is as though we are just paper dolls waiting for the next set of clothes to be dressed up in.
A legacy waiting to live.
As a psychic medium I have witnessed some interesting things of how the dead can affect the living.
Some want to leave behind their greatest strengths, and they will pass through one of their living family members to actually leave behind a great gift. Some can energetically support a family member, by infusing them with wonderful attributes.

There is an amazing moment in the movie Poltergeist, where the Mom, played by JoBeth Williams feels her daughters spirit move through her, and she can smell her essence in her sweater?Though the child for the sake of the movie premise did not die, she was in a form that the mother could not identify. For me it was one of the most moving moments of mother daughter connecting depicted on film.
Then there are others who die that have a strong sense of pathology in their vibrational field and they look for the weakest, the most desperate of family members to imbue their legacy.

The child who has the most need is looking for an energetic familiar support system and if they have not built enough of their own strength of character in themselves, they will adopt something familiar.

Since the dead are with us, and often times not happy being dead,

Their legacies’s can drift around for a few years until the deceased can effect one of their family members, insuring that their pathology lives on. Strange isn't it?
However, we do have a choice...
You can agree to take the good and let the rest go, but unless there is that strength of character, one will be looking to take on the legacy of another because they do not know who they are.
Like paper dolls waiting to be dressed.

The courage it takes to become real, and no longer a two dimensional character sometimes takes a life time.
Putting on your own clothes is freedom.