I am in awe of how the dead can show me details of their former life and also, details they see about us. It is an amazing slide show-movie in sensor-round for me. I share this evidentiary experience with their living loved ones, confirming that we don’t really die.
But a pop in visit by a deceased loved one can be just like any living dysfunctional family during the holiday. There are some personalities and family members that stir the pot triggering emotions, bumbling humor, buckets of laughter and sometimes, deep, old pain. Sometimes the dead admit their harmful behavior and apologize. That can be rewarding, gut wrenching and challenging for the living, as they try to make sense that a loved one is reaching out beyond the grave. It is my experience that is a wonderful opportunity for the living and the dead, to forgive and move on.
Christmas celebrates the birth of Christ the savior who came to change the world, teach us a new way, and forgive our sins. This 2013 Holiday season brought an opportunity to birth a new life, forgive and transform with a holiday healing.
Deb Suder, a resident of my hometown of Bedford Pennsylvania, found me on Facebook. She was curious about what I do and quick to comment on my posts. I liked her wit and perky sensibilities. Within a few months Deb requested a phone session with me. I’d never met her, nor do I know her family, but it is always a treat when someone from my hometown contacts me for a reading.
When I can connect to a dead person who knows Bedford, I get to see the town in an incredible cinematic way. The dead fly my mind to various places. There is a ‘wonderful life’ charm to Bedford, but the vignettes are not all Frank Capra-esk. I see things in a James Cameron way, with sweeping wide helicopter shots of the church steeples and historical markers, football fields, dairy farms and family homes down to the minute contents of dirt in a flowerbed, where the dead show me the kinds of flowers they grew in their garden. It is all so sumptuous for me because the essence of Bedford is in my soul. I still don’t know the names of all the streets but with the dead it does not matter they will make their point.
For about thirty minutes before I was to call Deb, I felt the presence of a loved one who was going to address a serious issue that Deb had wondered about her whole life. I got out my yellow note pad and wrote down these notes: the father wants to apologize for leaving so soon, he knows his behavior in life and death has had a dramatic impact on his daughter. There will be a question of abuse, caused by a family member and family friend. This wound has been buried in Deb’s body, the secrets must come out.
I called Deb and we shared our excitement of getting a chance to talk. I prepared her that I had already been given heads up about our session. I read her my notes. She was shocked, “Marla, the abuse issue is exactly what I had been so concerned about?”
BAM! Right off the bat, Spirit in their divine wisdom was there to help Deb.
“Marla, today is the 13 year anniversary of my being diagnosed with MS.”
Deb shared that her thyroid had shut down at the age of twelve and that as a teenager she went on synthetic thyroid medication after gaining 300 lbs. The fifth chakra energy system is located at the throat area. Difficulty in expressing how one thinks or feels (related to the throat or 5th chakra area) is classic in abused children. Deb, out of fear and trauma at the hands of adults who were supposed to care for her, shut down her voice. Gaining all the weight was also a way to protect Deb from the inappropriate contact she experienced. When the mind shuts down, so does the body and all sorts of maladies can arise.
Secrets make you sick; it is only in the disclosure of painful and shameful situations that the body, mind, and spirit can heal.
“ Deb, now is the time to look at some of these issues and hopefully unlock the wounds that are in your body so you can heal this pain.”
I began to share what I was feeing and hearing from her father. He had been dead for many years. He was very sad about the impact his life and death had on others. He'd carried the deep remorse about the familial abuse inflicted on Deb, the shame of his death, how it hurt Deb and how very sorry he was. Then my head started to hurt, which is typical when there has been a head injury of some kind to the deceased. I will feel pain or problems associated with how they died, as evidence for their loved ones.
“ Marla, my father killed himself with a shot to the head, when I was seven. I saw him right after he did it. His bloody hand reached out for me, I ran and hid in the kitchen.”
My God, what an image for a precious child to have witnessed. This event haunted Deb her entire life. Deb and I sat on the phone in a kind of three-way call with her deceased father, as he took this opportunity to apologize for his actions. Then her father stepped aside and details and images of other things began to roll in.
“ Deb they are telling me that you lived off Rt. 220 near Osterberg. They are showing me Beegle’s Christmas tree farm."
“ I did live off 220 on the way to Osterberg, on another property, not Beegle’s but it was a Christmas tree farm.”
I then I felt a shift in the energy.
“ Deb, I’m hearing a woman’s voice. She is telling me that she is so proud that you became a nurse; she says you have her face and hands. This must be your mother.”
“ But my mom was dead when I became a nurse!”
This was perfect, we now had the opportunity to talk about what I call, ‘dead people 101’.
“Deb, when loved ones die they still see us and feel us. Just like your dad knowing his death had such a profound impact on your life, your mom also knows about you. Just because she was dead, doesn’t mean she doesn’t know. She sees you, she also feels your joy and sadness. It is the body that dies, consciousness doesn’t.”
Suddenly I was given a flood of information from Debs mother, and my mind flew to the inside of Debs refrigerator of all places.
“ Oh my God Deb, I am in your refrigerator, and your mom shows me you have finally gotten rid of those Tupper Wear containers filled with tangled spaghetti looking things!” Deb laughed, but I pressed on.
“Wait, there are two other men with her, I think they are uncles. One of these men is teasing you about fishing, pulling you or something. Wait, now someone shows me Roger Arnold, why Roger Arnold?”
Roger Arnold is a hometown friend of mine since grade school. A very tall, kind, funny, smart and ornery nursing supervisor, Roger had just come to the attention of all of us on Facebook, who care about him, after he fell out of a tree stand (a post used for hunting) and broke his back. Miraculously he has survived, is walking, and on the mend.
“Oh my gosh Marla, that must be uncle Bill! He fell out of a tree stand in the middle of the woods, in fact, that’s how he died! The other uncle is Jack. We used to go fishing and one time at the pond, he had to pull me back by my belt as I tried to reel in an eel that was as big as me! And that tangled spaghetti-looking mess in those containers, were earthworms, night crawlers, fishing bait! I threw them out right before Thanksgiving to make room for the twenty pound turkey I was gona cook. One of those containers I’d had since the 2012 trout season!”
“ Well your mom is really happy you got rid of them!”
We were in Hysterics.
It was just wonderful that Uncle Bill thought to use Roger Arnold as an example so that I could understand what had happened to Bill in death, but that also means to me that the dead, know about other people in the same area who have needed help. I definitely believe that the other side heard the prayers of Roger and his loved ones, and came to his aid.
Finding out that the squiggly noodles I saw were worms, was amazing.
“ Your Dad is still here and he mentions that there is something wrong with the front door of your home, and there is a drainage problem on the left side of the house, you need to clean out the gutter.”
“ Yep Marla, the door sticks and the gutter is frozen.”
“Look Deb your mother wants you to know she watches you often, and is talking about seeing your brother Rick driving in downtown Bedford. She says that Rick is driving down Pitt Street by the movie theatre right now, as we are talking.”
Later that evening, Deb was able to confirm that her brother Rick, was in fact driving down past Pitt Street and the movie theatre the same time we were talking to mom.”
It was quite the session, filled with wonderful confirmation and great details of love and laughter. But spirit opened up their own can of worms addressing the abuse issue right away. It is by the grace of God that this session happened and that there was restitution made, but it is very important for Deb to get the proper help to untangle the wounds that have shut parts of her body down. Talking to a health professional will help Deb stabilize the memories. Deb’s memories are coming back and along with those, is the upset and confusion of why adults would hurt such a precious child.
“Maybe if I forgive and let go, that will help my dad and others who hurt me move on too.”
Deb is absolutely correct, and it is the beautiful, compassionate, precious spirit of Deb that had endured her situation and in turn has always helped others. But this holiday season, God thought it was time to help Deb and in that loving spirit give her the strength to now help herself too.
It was a most special holiday healing for us all.