People often ask me, “Can you do this work for yourself, can you be psychic for YOU”
That is one of the most upsetting things about this work. I get discombobulated, and sometimes even mad that I was right about situations that come into my personal world. It’s so contrary to the typical confirmation that is revealed for others, specifics that make me good at what I do. I am still working on being gracious about the information given to ME.
My partner says to me all the time,"but you knew this was going to happen, why are you so upset?” These are my screaming moments when I am less than gracious about “knowing”. It is the child still in me who had to intuit things in my home that were not so pleasant, wishing things were better. As an adult I must grow up and face the clairvoyance of my own situations, and accept the gift, even if it is not what I want to hear.
Spirit in its infinite wisdom is very kind. “They” give me fair warnings, and then push me as a reminder, if I have not heeded the warnings, I will get hit upside the head, with the truth.
In the nature of my business it is not uncommon for associates to want to “test” my skills and psychic prowess; a not so unconscious competitiveness. But I was not raised a serious athlete I was a baton twirler. My competitive skills limited to marching and tossing. I was always the kid who handed over the ball, and said “you win”.
You want to be smarter, you want to think you know more, ok fine, you win, now can we get back to taking care of business?
I continue to think and believe that people will admit their fears and insecurities. But really, how many people want to do that?
Friends have gotten into some pretty tricky business dilemmas, now did I “see” that there might be a problem, YES , but, each of us have their own journey, and we all have things to learn. I have been blinded to crucial pieces of information until Spirit is ready to reveal.
I have to think it is for the “greater good” But it is quite the day in my house when I am finally “given the information” that could have saved us years of time and energy.
Me running around the house yelling “oh my God finally the smoking gun, why now, why not two years ago!!???” It is a brilliant moment.
Who am I to question Spirit, yet I do all the time. The truth shall set you free, but first it will piss you off.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Oh my God to be grateful. There are so many who have altered my course, enriched my soul, visited me in realms that illuminated investigation way beyond my comprehension. Souls whose journeys intertwine, slip in for a brief visit, or haunt me with memories to fill a day of rain.
It is an amazing journey to be what I think is a Spirit in a physical form. Being human is hard. The difficulties of human emotion is what makes humans so extraordinary and yet so vulnerable. How defensive one has to be to survive the roads, office, home and space of others, let alone our minds.
We are coddled here in America with the remote control to other lands. We do not have to slay the moose to eat. We are not forced to pray that our café will not be bombed, at least not yet.
I love the freedom of knowing that there is always more. I am so grateful that my blinders only come in hormonal fluctuations. That a mood can be altered by the brief laughter of a stranger, and that what I have learned is only the shimmering tip of an iceberg.
I love the trains in NYC that are a haven of humanity. Yesterday I sat with Yankee fans caught up in the emotion of winning. Those anonymous enthusiastic lives briefly shared, are welcomed, energy so infectious and invigorating; I ran home to do my laundry.
I have met those whose life is fleeting, and they hunger to stay, others who don’t like who they are and want to leave, some who know they will die in months and are resigned to moving on.
Any of you who come to my world and visit have left an impression. Oh my God I am so grateful.