Are You Rooted in Pain ?

Are the roots of your family tree a source of nourishment, or a tangled web of emotional pain?

" Just get me out of this pain,” is what I always hear.

Pain exists to tell you that there is something wrong.

If you have not looked at what causes the pain, you will never have the opportunity to heal it.

Only with awareness come change.

Perhaps you have come to a place in your life where your life is no longer working because of this pain. You create loss in every area, marriage, jobs, health, family, siblings, friends and joy. Anyone who comes in contact with you, will be subject to your pain if you have not addressed it .

Have you imprisoned yourself, cutting out of your life those who challenge you? This myriad of self protection created an inauthentic self, to protect you from deep emotional pain.

This “breakdown” was created by your soul and spirit, to give you an opportunity to change. You have to take responsibility and shed light on what pain really is in your life in order to change it.

The introspection of this is crucial or you will go to your grave bitter, unhappy, filled with betrayal, regret and longing. Part of that energetic legacy will be passed on to family or friends when you die.

How did this happen?

You were wounded by an event, a series of events where someone removed love.
In order to protect yourself, you have produced a false sense of self.

You became afraid or upset, not having the appropriate tools to help you at a young age, so you developed a damaging way to protect yourself.

Do you spend your life overcompensating for these wounds by distracting yourself out of your predicament? Crafting businesses too big to be challenged, empires of mental strength to support your image.

Do you put yourself on stage in a desperate attempt to process your pain, you become other people" The “characters you play” give the permission you need to “act out” the deep emotion you could never express as a child. Finding “who you really are” takes dedication.The investment in transformation far outweighs the price of a Harvard acting degree.
Do you turn to drugs or alcohol because you cannot stand the “frequency” that this harsh emotional upset and wounding has created in your body; emotion so disturbing that your body cannot process it so you think you must be medicated? Or you blame others in silent contracts, because you think it gives you power?

The point is, if you are in great pain you must take responsibility for knowing that something is not working. What do you do? Nothing can be changed unless you have awareness.

If you are conscious you can see what caused your wounds. If you are angry and feeling like a victim of your childhood, you must find a way to process this. It takes work, compassion, patience and love.

Your cognitive dissonance will keep you resisting new information that you don't want to think about. You could stay in denial , however if you don’t seek the help, you will continue to project and inflict your wounded self image onto those who you claim to love or those who you have conveniently and perhaps silently blamed for your life. The secrets you keep are insidious poison and only truth shall set you free.

Counselors , therapists, coaches, friends, and relatives who have gone through transformational work can assist you . The act of seeking help produces helpers.

You may seem successful with money, but to what end? What good is money when you are bankrupt emotionally? You can accept awards, be lauded for your work, but you go home disappointed. This cannot really be tolerated by your Soul and Spirit, so it lashes out, regurgitates the pain . You will see in the eyes of others how damaging your pain is.

If you do not deal with these issues, you will continue to pull people and situations to you that mirror your pain.

It is only through the courageous process of loving yourself enough to get help, then drawing to you people who resonate healing and love, for you to be able to transform your affliction. I call this in our TV culture life, “an intervention of the soul”.

You must untangle what has rooted you in pain before you can ever move beyond the pain of the past.

The Meaning of Stuff

As the umpire says “ it ain’t a ball until I call it a ball”. You do that with everything in your life…you create the meaning.

You've put meaning on everything around you. You've developed a life filled with “stuff” that you have attached meaning to. That stuff only enforces the “meaning “you have attached to it.

Have you ever watched a hoarder? Someone who can not give up the obsessive compulsive need to keep things that the hoarder “thinks” has significant meaning.


You, always choose the meaning.


A beat up box with tinker toys that were your dead brothers, a school jacket reminiscent of your football glory days, your fathers pipe, your grandmother’s favorite broach coveted by all your family.

Without the “meaning’ you attach, they're just things.

Is your life filled with extraneous stuff to pull your attention to old memories because you don’t like the memories you now create?

Does "stuff" represent power or love?

When you look at that old silver candlestick are you reminded of the love that your mother gave or didn't give you?

There is the “Antiques Road Show” that will give more meaning to your stuff, and EBay to make sure you get more stuff.

The meaning you give to everything in your life has created the life you live.

My motto when helping to clear out peoples lives is “when in doubt throw out” if you have doubt as to why you need something, then you don’t need it.

What do you need??... is my question.

What things for your soul will you choose to give meaning to? You have crafted a life by the meaning you have given everything; how’s that working for you?