CHOOSE

There is a conversation about cancer that I cannot avoid. The scars on my arm, the markers of my lifeguarding years, melanoma their way into my memory bank, as remember my diagnoisis in 96. I still slather sunscreen on and wear long sleeve shirts.

I am like an electrical dryer of emotions, tumbling the different colors of all feelings, what I choose to take out first and fold back into my life is completely up for grabs right now.

My girlfriend is watching her boyfriend die from pancreatic cancer. A vibrant creative loving man who is only 55, trying to stay here, traveling to Mexico for new treatments, flanked by healers and anyone who wants to help. He is fighting for his life, a life not long enough; time wasted in regrets, disapointments are setting in, each day is now precious. His daily thoughts now push through the terror of surrendering his body.

Another friend is leaving her husband. The man after years of producing projects, and telling important stories that touch the world in special ways has chosen a bong and Bordeaux. Abhorrent behavior of childhood wounds, like a cancer has infected their marriage. The self fulfilling prophecy of never being good enough, morphing into mediocrity, numbing his pain, the arrested development of a teenager. He has chosen this, instead of facing his truth and choosing to acknowledge the grip of his concretized ego.

Cancer/illness/loss is an opportunity. When you have it, it makes you fight for your life, when you see it in others it gives you the opportunity to live differently, it is a great equalizer to self pity.

Its how we deal with it that will create our lives,.... or not.

Emotional problems are illnesses too. The crime of what adults do to children is the harsh brutality of the world, even when parents are well meaning, children still suffer. They suffer the unresolved problems of the parents.

When you are a child you CANT choose, but as an adult you have the power TO choose.

These are crucial times of choice. How are we going to live in these extraordinary times?

What are we willing to accept? If I accept behavior that is harmful and dangerous I enable.

I can love but I also have the right to protect myself from other peoples choices.

There is no wrong choice; there are just consequences to our actions.

Choice is a tool in how to create you life.

I am having a hard time being neutral. I tumble with the heat of passion for life and the importance of being here, and I must let go of the notion that not all of us want to stay, and fight. If you don’t say yes to the pain, and choose to numb it, you don’t get the other side of the pain, the joys, the fulfillment, the ecstasy.

I will honor those who are exiting this life, as well as celebrate those who choose to stay and fight.

I choose to stay and see the beauty, live the pain, listen to the messages Spirit sends my way and find the love.

Love Is In The Air

This mother’s day I found myself honoring the day in a very different way. I was alone for the first time in many years to be with the feelings of not being a mother to a child, a cat yes, however not having a human family to celebrate anyone’s mother,I decided to spend the day, the best way I could, ....I worked.

I opened up opportunities for sons and daughters to communicate with their deceased moms.

I never know what will show up in sessions but I could feel that talk and chatter was in the air.

It is in interesting process when I wake knowing that there are loved ones already talking to me about their children.

My cat sitting in the sun let me know what kind of day it would be as he lifted up his head to sniff the air. So happy for a dog to walk by, or a bird to land in the tree, he smelled what he loved. I knew it would be a brilliant day.

I bounced put of bed knowing that my first client was in for a treat. Her mom full of pride and love wanted to chat, but she had to wait the three hours as I started my morning, my electric tooth brush needed charging, the plants a good watering and when I got to my office, more time consuming busyness, vacuuming, opening mail and brewing a cup of coffee kept the dead at bay.

I feel a “push’ that comes before the session, s faint voice saying "I’m ready, where are they??” or I will be shown images by a deceased loved of some urgency in re-directing the daughters driving so she wont be late, helping get a good parking space. Sometimes they will show me how bad a driver their child is, what they were listening to in the car, or who they were talking (illegally) on the cell phone before they get to my office.

Then there are the moments I have cravings that I don’t normally have, cravings that get stronger as the deceased get closer. Ideas of baked beans, cream filled bon bons, even gin can waft through my head before a deceased shows up. Things I would never think of eating are often delights that were consumed and now missed by those on the other side.

In death and in life, love between mothers and children is never really lost.

Finding it and capturing it for brief moments is always in the air.

Sea the Light

For a very long time, I had the idea that I was to shed a big light on darkness.

Like a flood light I would illuminate the shadow. Nothing could be concealed from me.

Where there was murkiness or shame, the hint of unspoken feelings, covert deeds, or perpetrators to be found, I’d pull out my arsenal of Mag lights, handy pointer beams, flood lights and go to work, making sure what was in the shadows, or “who” was the shadow… was visible.

It was very affective. Like a strobe triggered by movement, I could capture the beast that lurked. I would then leave behind a snap shot of the unconscious intruder, a parting reminder I had done my job, but had I?

I did this for clients because they asked for it, friends who yearned for it and then those who didn’t ask for it directly, or even want it, got the glare anyway, because I took my incandescent job like the quest of Joan of Arc.

But  something has changed. I See the Light.

I often would perceive a lighthouse as a symbol of my job of piercing darkness, but today I realized what had eluded me, the true function of a lighthouse.

A tall still structure, emanating light from a source to guide and help navigate those at sea.

It does not seek out, its fundamental nature is to illuminate.

It is up to those who "see "this light to render its meaning.

Captains who have navigated choppy waters are warned of perhaps danger ahead. Seasoned travelers understand they are close to a safe port.
Sailors know there will soon be a warm bed and hot meal. Passengers, weary of the journey will be grateful to anchor once again to the confidence of land.

It is courageous to travel on the sea.

The more one learns to steer ones own ship,understand the maps of the Gods, the better the journey on water.

Those of us who are lighthouses must stand strong and simply, light the way. Or  at least know where the darn flash light is when the lights go out!

A Box of Karmals

For the Weeks leading up to Valentine’s day, you can’t turn a corner without seeing symbols of love. A red rose, sacred to Venus who is the Goddess of Love. Fat little cherubs, ready to strike, sweets and treats….

As Forest Gump would say,"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are gona to get,” same with Love.

However, there may just be some Karma set in motion for love to strike.

Cupid, is the winged cherub equipped with bow and arrow which he uses to skewer people into love. The origins of Cupid can be traced back to the days of the Roman Empire.

Cupid is a Roman God, the symbol of passionate love. (He is the son of Venus, who remember is the Goddess of Love.) Cupid fell madly and completely in love with Psyche, whom it happened was a mortal.

This did not please Venus at all. Cupid made his mother jealous, so Venus gave Psyche a particularly hard time, consistently tempting her and driving her off.

Eventually, through a small series of human faults, Psyche was tempted to look into the ‘box of beauty’, (no doubt making poor little Psyche feel insecure) and when she did, she unleashed a deep slumber onto herself. Perhaps not ready to “wake up” she stayed asleep for years.

Cupid, realizing his love was stronger than his mothers wrath, came to Earth and searched the world for Psyche. He found her in her deep sleep. Psyche’s heart was pure and Cupid’s love for her was so strong that he was able to take the sleep from her and place it back into the box.

Then he used an arrow to pierce her heart,( a symbol of female genitalia and awaken her with his arrow, the phallus) a destiny that needed to happen.

Perhaps all the symbols and sweets of this day have deeper meaning than Hallmark could ever give them.

It is a grand day when you can intuit what is in each chocolate.Karmals are my favorite.

If we are honest we can "fall" in love with many, however it is the Psyche when awake, that can truly appreciate Cupids Karmic love and devotion.

Clean Those Filters

There are dozens of filters in our lives. The air filter in the car, the one in the heating and cooling system of the home, the water filter, the lint filter of the dryer,coffee grounds are filtered and most importantly is the filter for our bodies....the liver. These are the traps for the unwanted junk and debris of our lives that when FILTERED keep our lives running smoothly. These filters must be cleaned changed or in some cases, ..replaced.

If we do not take care of all the systems, they wear out or they can even poison us.
The not so easily seen filters of our energetic system are invisible but I can feel them when mucked up, clogged or just plain dirty.

The etheric body captures the negative frequencies we come in contact with. The astral body that is the emotional part of us needs support much like a doppelganger, it is an energetic frequency that is necessary for well being. It needs a good bath, just like the rest of us.

Have you ever felt “slimmed”? The popular Ghost Busters movies had a green flying monster named Slimmer who would when confronted, vomit clear goo. A Trivial piece of info but the context of being slimmed is clear?

I have studied various ideas about how illness gets into the body. What happens to our etheric filters can certainly cause inflammation resulting in probable disease. I know that some who read this might find the idea ridiculous but consider the film that we are covered with after a fire in the area. What happens when a jet dumps its fuel, the radioactive particles left after xrays?

What happens to us when we are vomited on, or immersed in frequencies that are dense and or “slimy”? The definitions of “slime” refer to something disgusting, or offensive in an ingratiating way. Energies can do the same.

Cleaning our filters may be as simple as removing something we eat, breath or the more subtle forms of conversations, places, environments, people and thoughts.

Keeping our filters clean is a daily job.

The Symbols

There are times when we have symbols to remind us that we are not alone.

Symbols to let us know that we are being supported, guided, loved.......

I've had these for years and years.

Do you?

My recent connection is to watched.....a way for eyes to find me.

Do they find you?

They are all around, just pay attention and you will see or feel them.

Her Near Death Experience

Nothing like dying to change ones perspective around the holidays. Here is my friend Maryann's account of her recent "unscheduled" trip.

I was very ill from a bad cold the Thursday a week before Thanksgiving. I had called my doctor for an antibiotic and then called him again to schedule an appointment with him the next day, Friday. My doctor called me at home on Thursday evening and heard that I had some chest congestion and advised that I come in early the next morning so he could examine me and prescribe steroids just to get me through this rough patch. Having been an asthmatic in the past (but having it very well under control of late) I assumed that I might have an uncomfortable night, but would seem him first thing in the morning and get some relief.

After I hung up the phone with him, things went down very, very quickly. My breathing became very labored. I used my rescue inhaler, but that didn't seem to offer any relief.. I knew I was in trouble. I realized I needed help and dialed 911. After I hung up with them, a dear friend called in to see how I was feeling. I told him - barely able to breathe at that point - that I had called an ambulance and he said he'd be right over.

After I hung up with him, I managed somehow to walk from the living room into the dining room to retrieve my purse .my keys, health cards, etc. While walking into the dining room I clearly saw my dead grandparents (who used to live in the apartment below). They were standing in the dining room wearing vintage winter .coats with lamb pelt lapels. I acknowledged them in the same manner I would any real person standing there- for to me they were quite "real." I knew that they were deceased at that point, and that I was in a very serene place - very peaceful.. It was a "sweet surrender." I truly had the feeling that this might be my time to pass, and I was just fine with it... I managed to focus somehow and get down the stairs (I'm sure they must have "helped" in some way). I opened the door to the porch and closed the door behind me so my pet cat wouldn't escape. I vaguely recall opening the front door and waiting for the EMTs. As .I sat down on the sofa on the porch, I know that someone was talking to me, they were sitting next to me. It was a man in a navy blue uniform with dark wavy hair and dark-rimmed glasses. I assumed one of the EMTs had arrived and was administering to me on the porch. But my friend (who arrived at the same time as the ambulance) said the EMTs took me right into the truck and started treatment. Later I realized that this man in the navy uniform may have been my late dad who was a police officer many years ago. I don't recall any of the content of the conversation, but this memory was very clear. I also felt my mom around me as well. I knew that I was in this peaceful place, that I probably was going to pass on, but that everything was perfectly all right. There was nothing to worry about...

I apparently didn't respond well in the ambulance to the asthma treatment, and the EMTs told my friend that my lungs were in a locked spasm and that there was only a 5-7 minute window to get me help, so I was rushed to the ER of a local hospital. Once I reached the ER, I "crashed" - I stopped breathing completely and was sedated, intubated and then put into an induced coma for several days. I don't recall much during this period, obviously, but I do recall hearing someone say "Breeeeeeeethe..." The triage doctor told my sister that my condition was serious and that if I didn't come around soon (since I wasn't responding to treatment) a decision might have to be made. I had just told my sister not too long before this event regarding end-stage care, "You know my adage: Drug me and unplug me." I guess someone was listening. Soon after that, some improvement was noted which was encouraging. I was taken off the ventilator and I started breathing on my own.

I heard from my friend, Dannion Brinkley who told me that he had heard of my situation and had meditated, sending me some healing energy, but kept telling me to "Breathe..." So I guess I must have "heard" him. I also had to laugh because I had received a catalogue in the mail just a day or so before this crisis and I had dog-eared the page which showed a plaque which (unrelated to this medical emergency) said "The only thing you need to do today is breathe." (Quite a cosmic joke).

I was in an amazingly peaceful place, I must say. When I was placed into a regular room, another older woman (around 90 years old) was also brought up into my room from the ICU, apparently. She was stable, her vitals were good and she was talking to her family about the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday. Somehow, I "knew" that she was going to pass over. About five minutes later, she coded and did pass away.

The other odd thing was that I had made an appointment to see Max, the Crystal Skull for that Sunday - for obvious reasons, I couldn't make the appointment to see him. I have a small collection of my own crystal skulls, but have stored them away since it seemed that every time I would take them out to work with them, I would receive news that someone had passed away.

I didn't know that I'd been put into an induced coma, so all of this came as a great surprise to me... I'm still trying to sort things out and rest and recuperate... Perhaps more information will come to me as to the reason all of this happened. I can only say that it was a very peaceful journey - filled with loving family members who were awaiting my arrival - or who helped to guide me back here. I was ready to go... I guess I have more work to do.... The outpouring of affection and healing thoughts has been astounding. My friend Marla (a gifted and well-known psychic medium) was a great help to me to understand what this odyssey may have been all about. More to come, I'm sure... Thank you for reading this account.... it was quite a ride....

May Maryann's journey give us all pause as we traverse the challanges of being Human.

God's Powerful Process

I’ve always loved storms. To feel safe in the middle of one is about knowing what protects you.

The power of these tubular squalls can be devastating as they rip homes and lives apart, destroying everything in its path.

I once read that a tornado is considered "a process". I believe that Spirit has revealed tornado as a new symbol for me, of a vortex of energy that I have danced with all year and now follows my call when a clearing is necessary.

I have been inside this vortex for 9 months. Now it is time for perhaps the calm and the rebirth of new and fertile ground.

Those who have fanned this wind of mine are not safe from the path destruction. Dented and scraped, I’m sure they pray the worst is over. The fact is, they will never know when the elements of God will produce this …”process” again.

A friend from far away, who is traveling to see me, recently sat with the sorcerers of Jacumba Ca, and drew from their deck of power cards, a tornado, predicting that he would meet his worthy adversary soon.

I soaked in the naked spa of the Korean baths today ready to be scrubbed when I struck up a conversation with a beautiful woman.

We briefly shared our lives, and when I laid out my most recent past, she said “ My God, it’s a tornado" I laughed,... again, a confirmation reiterated from the universe.

The scrubby pads whirled and whirled around my tired epidermis, I emerged glowing, just as a new babe should.

The mighty wind of Spirit clears a path , removing what is necessary for the shamanic cleansing.

I know I am protected, but I also am in awe of the power of God.

"Soul Survivor" Be prepared to be amazed!

Reincarnation , a subject that you may or not be interested in, however when I found the story of a young boy whose night terrors turn out to be memories from a previous life and the loving parents launch an investigative probe into finding the truth, ….my world was rocked.

When hearing of the precious 4 year old child who knew the intricacies of fighter planes, I was drawn into the richness of this unbelievable tale. However, when the opportunity to interview his parents for Unknown country’s Dreamland fell in my lap I was more than moved.

In My opinion this is the most dramatic example of a modern day reincarnation story that could challenge your belief system but also put you in touch with the most loving families and have your heart leap for joy at the culmination of their book “Soul Survivor”.

Whitley Strieber’s interview on Dreamland and my subscriber interview can be heard for the next month on http://www.unknowncountry.com/dreamland/?id=470

The web site for Soul Survivor is http://www.soulsurvivor-book.com/

Enjoy and be prepared to be amazed!!!

They Let Us Know

Animals are God's heart warmers.

They are so very precious and will tell you most often when things are good or not. They let us know that they are happy... if we are happy. They buffer crys, love us unconditionally, and remind us that we too, matter.

A few months ago I was interviewed on George Noory's AM radio program Coast to Coast. George is an avid animal fan, and we both decided that anyone who says they don't like animals, has missed one of the greatest parts of life. My interview turned into a sort of pet psychic program. Which was not what I wanted to talk about, but it was extraordinary none the less.

I realized that people are desperate to understand their animals, communicate with them and want to know that they too have been understood.

I am good in reading dogs and horses, but even though I have had cats most of my life and have had a big yellow tabby as a constant companion for the last 11 years, I just can't seem to "hear them " the same way..... until now..

My cat and I recently moved into our new home. That first day I saw something different in him. An excitement, happiness and grace that he didn't have at the former house.

Even though he had two yards to stalk rats and birds, pee freely and climb trees he seemed to loose the joy of being there. He is older and let me know that he was tired of protecting the huge grounds of my former home. He told me he was relaxed and happy, safe, comfy and If I had just listened to him I too could be the same way.

Here is how he looked the first night in our new home.

I wonder what he has to say next?

If we watch them they will tell us. You don't need to be psychic to see joy.

A Peek at Her Path

I am always moved by how Spirit works. How the universal consciousness and divine birthright of intuition becomes present for others.

I agreed a long time ago to go through an initiative path of transformation, and I was compelled to share it with others. I am no better or more conscious because of my path, however my experience has given me enough confirmation that I feel comfortable aiding and guiding others when needed.

My journey has been assisted by many. Some of my teachers have various academic doctorates, their structure essential to providing scaffolding for me to rebuild myself. Others like me chose the education of life experience and self exploration. There are some who I have met as clients who end up surpassing their own expectations of themselves that inspire me the most.

Stacey, has made choices that show she has invested in love. Love has become her path to understand herself and others. She is at this point, a single mother trying to make sense of raising a son, working in Hollywood, crafting her voice in various forms and expressing who she is in the challenging world of facing authenticity in a sea of illusion. She is the smokeless conscious west coast version of Carrie Bradshaw.

Her gutsy, sensitive dive into her truth is more inspirational than any TV late time drama and sometimes, to her detriment, more tabloid than episodes of the bachelorette, but her journey is the path of many and I encourage you to read her musings and follow her process.

I did not choose motherhood this time around. My “family“is all of you ...and then some. So I am busy with my ever changing relatives. But I look to Stacey as a gauge of a woman of courage and heart who isn’t afraid to live, love and have loss in her life.

She has just refered to me as momma Mia in her blog.

I treasure any reference to having perhaps mirrored to her a healthy aspect of a nurturing woman and I am honored to be a part of her process. How exciting to read about her growth, knowing she is never alone but supported by seen and unseen forces.

I celebrate her voice as a friend and inspiration as she allows us all to take a peek of her path to transformation.

http://www.staceyjwarner.blogspot.com/

Serenity

I have loved therefor I have lived...

I have lost therefor I have learned...

When I pray I expect answers...

The answers may not be the ones I was looking for...

They are answers just the same...

Perhaps we don't always know what is best for us....

It takes a lifetime to learn the difference...

My Conscious Self

I wanted to be on the president’s fitness club in grade school.

My skinny little arms could not pull me up the chin-up bar, and despite my 100 sit ups, and running faster than any of my classmates,(even the boys), I didn’t get that coveted certificate in Mr. Masterson’s sixth grade class.

Though I am blessed with the genetics of a few good body parts, the rigors and merit of building upper body strength escaped me. Running track, a few years of tennis, dance, and being a two baton twirler, I never had enough definition in my arms to not feel ....akward in a tank top.

I felt self conscious.

Something was missing, and I knew I wanted to pump myself up, but what did I really need to pump up to feel good about me?

I believe that there is something in how we take care of ourselves that defines the consciousness of who we are. There is a statement of well being that a “toned” body says, and perhaps in order to tone, I had to “tune” me. I had to become conscious of myself.

It is hard work building muscles. The effort and the pain that it takes to build something strong takes time and intention. Not a fan of gyms, I wanted the expression of my health to manifest in the physcial, I wanted to see the definition of hard work, health and consciousness.

My focus has been on re-structuring the emotional foundation of my life by repairing the floorboards of a shaky childhood, filling in the cracks of damage and building the muscle of a spiritual practice.

Imagine my surprise yesterday when I looked in the mirror of my Tae Kwan do studio yesterday and saw my deltoids, triceps and biceps,defined for the very first time. I thought, is my eyesight getting better, am I standing closer to the mirrors? Maybe my protein shake was helping……

I was amused that after 4 years of the study of martial arts as a way for me to gain more health, strength and focus; I was actually now manifesting the outward expression of the inner dialogue.

These repairs though internal, have begun to bare witness to all my hard work.

I wanted to be strong, I needed to be strong and the juicy plump of the "Mad Men girls” might be appealing to some as a soft place of feminine wiles to escape to or hide behind, but I had to have the fine tuning of the conscious conversation of my life to support my skin.

God's Personal Guidance System

As I have said many times, I am always surprised at the information that is revealed by Spirit to us.
Sometimes it is because a deceased person needs to communicate with a loved one, other times it is the divine psychic nature of God that calls us to re-connect back to the Source, a place of loving information that is part of our birthright.

Who could have thought GPS might mean God's Personal Guidance System?

The fact that I assist others in hearing the guidance is a vocation that has taken years to embrace. I have had to accept that this happens even if I am at the grocery store, in a cab, 10,000 miles away, or even in my own back yard.

It is my job to help people connect to the source of their divinity and their own intuition.

Of course I have my own struggles and am constantly learning. Every day I am given information that if I choose to listen to, can guide me in my growth too, and through a series of dramatic events, Spirit has made more room in my life so that I can be "on call" for others who want assistance.

This week presented an awakening for a woman who I have shared pleasantries with, never an in-depth conversation about the meaning of the work I do, however there was enough room in my life to see, feel and hear her. GPS offered direction.

Life happens, no one can know what will trigger illumination. The day to day shuffling of children to school, can be interrupted, with something minor, or tragic. We don’t know what is being designed to get our attention.

We never know when we need direction, until it happens.

Today the message for this woman was :

There comes a time in a woman’s life where who she is must be revealed. It is when there is an alignment with the terror of her own wisdom, her truth, and the reminder of a Spiritual contract. It is a window into the depth of her soul.
She is called to listen, pushed to see. She must heed the sacred pull to the force of nature that created her.
How else will she know who she is. She will be shown, led, and if she listens, she has God's Personal Guidance system available in the conscious request of a prayer.
It is in knowing her truth that she will know herself. Her truth will set her free.

It is humbling and magical to know there is a guidance system for us all.

Don't Forget the View

When on a train we are usually trying to get someplace; a destination that means something.

We are compelled to take that form of transport for a reason, economic, employment, perhaps emotional.

The ride can be filled with curiosity, chatting with fellow travelers, or sequestered into a world of information via news papers, Internet or taken to another time and place through a book.

Some are annoyed at having to take the trip, an impediment to their routine, their expected existence. But life is happening on, and outside that train, it is available if you care to look. It is the world outside, the world that offers more.

Recently I have had a few friends remind me of that. As they mention the view from their personal trains.

Life has pushed them into having to take the train, drive it and get to where they are going.

Pressed inside as their day to day view is either mundane or uncomfortable, they get on a train no foot on the pedal, their life now in the hands of the conductor.

Even if they had an agenda, beside them is another view. If they decide to notice is the glorious scenery.

I am happy to be reminded of this, as I work to get from point A to D. The ride can be inspiring when we don’t forget the view.

Dust Off Your Dominoes

Wikipedia says that the domino effect is a chain reaction that occurs when a small change causes a similar change nearby, which then will cause another similar change, and so on in linear sequence. The term is best known as a mechanical effect, and is used as an analogy to a falling row of dominoes. It typically refers to a linked sequence of events where the time between successive events is relatively small.

We know by virtue of our media that the thoughts that are verbalized by politicians, money experts, and even David Letterman can have dramatic affect and incite millions.

What happens if we carefully choose to when,where, how and what dominos of our own to nudge?

Right before I speak to groups I ask "how should I start this talk?” And I am led to address by Spirit what is the most important point for the two hours.

Yes, I know I will be discussing all sorts of psychic phenomenon, and messages from departed loved ones, but for the Dreamland conference in Nashville I was told. “you must address how important everyone's physical system is and there are a number of people in the group whose bodies are severely compromised"

I got in front of the crowd and quickly sketched on a large paperboard a mass of information and guidance above us available to us, with lines of communication attached to us...the point was how we as humans need keep our vehicles (bodies) in good shape to be able to receive and embody the important information and guidance available to us….So I complied.

I was specifically led to talk to a few people about diabetes and hidden health issues. There was a bit of an upset by a few pissed off participants who got activated by the talk, but that is bound to happen when people are challenged in areas that they have secrets and shame.

These ripples some times take only minutes to roll out but, sometimes days and weeks can pass.

I came back to my ever changing personal life revealing thousands of my own dominoes that I have overtly/ covertly knocked down in the face my change. Watching as everything falls down, to be re-built, forgetting what I pushed a few weeks ago, But today I am inspired that perhaps there are miracles in the movement of change and I am on the right track.

Ben, a participant at the Dreamland festival is in the process of personal transformation. He like many has struggled with historical wounding, but he is now being led, assisted, and guided to strike at his dusty dominoes. Embracing what he learns and taking action for inevitable change. He pushed himself to the festival and things are rolling out.He asked for help and he is getting it.

I believe that I signed up to be pushed by Spirit, to push a few dusty dominoes, to re-calibrate with light and to assist others in finding their right resonance.

Ben is now in the exciting transformational metamorphosis of his life, flowing and moving inspired by Spirit to trust the chain reaction to take right resonance in action. He is an inspiration.

Thank you Ben for reminding me why I do my work.

Facinating Find

April 9, 2007—Geologist Juan Manuel García-Ruiz calls it "the Sistine Chapel of crystals," but Superman could call it home.

A sort of south-of-the-border Fortress of Solitude, Mexico's Cueva de los Cristales (Cave of Crystals) contains some of the world's largest known natural crystals—translucent beams of gypsum as long as 36 feet (11 meters). How did the crystals reach such superheroic proportions? In the new issue of the journal Geology, García-Ruiz reports that for millennia the crystals thrived in the cave's extremely rare and stable natural environment.

Temperatures hovered consistently around a steamy 136 degrees Fahrenheit (58 degrees Celsius), and the cave was filled with mineral-rich water that drove the crystals' growth. Modern-day mining operations exposed the natural wonder by pumping water out of the 30-by-90-foot (10-by-30-meter) cave, which was found in 2000 near the town of Delicias (Chihuahua state map).

Now García-Ruiz is advising the mining company to preserve the caves. "There is no other place on the planet," García-Ruiz said, "where the mineral world reveals itself in such beauty."

This is an article I found on the National Geographic site for this phenomenon, it is so exciting and can be a source of fascination for anyone who finds crystals interesting.

I watched the documentary on the Nat Geo TV station and found it very exciting, so I share it with you.

Our Extended Family

I had no agenda when I flew to Nashville for my first Unknown country’s Dreamland Festival.
I just wanted to show up and share.

I have been a part of this family as one of the web radio "hosts" for two years now, and I was excited to see what meeting some of my extended family might be like.

Gatherings of like minded people fascinate me. There is a morphic field created and I believe that when two or more are “gathered in my name”, ( as Jesus would say) things are bout to happen.

This weekend felt like the "name" was an immersion into another consciousness.

From the stargate Christian ideas that William Henry shared, the stunning and I mean stunning presentation Linda Moulton Howe's address on crop circles, Jim Mar’s deep reservoir of mind bending knowledge to the ever present space of love and compassion that Anne and Whitley Strieber create for those whose earth experience is…. out of this world, it was a remarkable event.

The many years of experiences that have led Whitley and Anne to pull together such a team is ….well, for the sake of others.

The “Others” are a group of interested people, interested in layers of life that have unique and deep and powerful meaning to them all.

We all braved the oppressive heat of Nashville’s 90 plus temperatures to bath in the cool and edgy conversations of the visitors, their messages and what they have to do with all of us

Yes, Whitley continues to be the consummate novelist that makes him popular, but it is his exigent and extraordinary experience that “Communion” was based on that is the familial history of why most attended, and why I too, am part of this group.

It is a family; a quirky, gifted, unique group, who I had the pleasure of being with.

Here is a family photo.

http://www.cropcircleconnector.com/2009/southfield2/southfield2009b.html

Ya Worried?

I was raised in south central Pennsylvania in a beautiful isolated town that takes two and a half hours to get to the nearest international airport, one hour to the nearest city and I didn’t see a McDonald’s until I was 16.

It’s a Norman Rockwell dream nestled in the Allegheny Mountains, where front page news is limited to petty theft, 4H winners, or an occasional drunk driver charged with running over a mail box. It is a town that is 98% white.

There are 150 different congregations of churches, one movie theatre, and the average income is 40k. The main businesses are agricultural, machinery, construction and health care.

It is a preserved slice of Americana, I loved growing up in my home town.

Those who are still there from my 60s-70s rein still remember me as the singing twirling, personable gal. Perhaps no one really knew me.

However some of the towns-folk are now “worried” about me. It does not matter that I threw myself at the foot of the cross as youth based born again Christian, or that I have used my God given abilities of intuition to help people and work for law enforcement, nope, some of my home townies are strict with their belief in God's word. So the rules of Deuteronomy and Leviticus prove Gods eternal damnation for talking to the dead or using psychic abilities,..... hence the worry.

Could it be that in some Christian sects feel that all the blessed angels, profound dreams, great visions, inspiration, proven prophecy, help from the holy spirit (not to mention talking to Christ who promised ever lasting life), that are the fundamental foundations of the Bible just stopped after the bible was written?

Someone better inform the preachers who, sell books, do TV shows and collect donations every week that their tenure was over a long time ago.

Best we all re -acquaint ourselves with OLD testaments of Deuteronomy and Leviticus for good advice if we want to make sure our souls are not dammed.

Cause according to Deut and Levit, everyone who curses his mother of father will be put to death, the slaves at that come from the nations around us, we can buy; what a novel new business in this failing economy, slavery.

Farmers who plant two different kinds of crops are against God, Sleeping beside your husband when you are having your period will get you thrown out of town, you're dammed if you cut off your sideburns and beard, you will fry for eating a BLT sandwich, if you wear cotton panties with a nylon skirt you'll be dancing with the devil and you cant mix meat with dairy, right? So that ham and cheese sandwich might just lock up a soul forever....who knew ordering surf and turf is a sin?

The scales of Gods HISTORICAL justice seem to make talking to the dead not so bad when weighed against all that.

Who should be worried? The patrons of the Red Lobster about 30 miles outside of my home town.

The Being

My Trip to the Sun Valley Wellness Festival as a first time presenter was filled with great surprises.

My workshop and talks were met by extraordinary people and I feel that Spirit in its infinite wisdom gave me as much clear information as my vessel could hear. When I had completed my work I wanted to wander into the beauty of the land that surrounded the Sun Valley Lodge. I wanted to bring home some Kodak moments, I was on a mission.

My mission I thought, was to take pictures of an area that had the most wonderful array of trees with every conceivable color of green…I was so attracted to this small 3 mile stretch between the lodge and town I could not wait to capture the color to remind me of my trip.

As I came back to the intersection of the Lodge and the main road, I was told, “take pictures “here”…so I shot ..three pictures from the same spot, shooting toward the north ,west, and south. The sun was never behaving, as I waited for it to creep out from behind the clouds. I laughed at myself, as I mentally tried to move the gauzy filters that obscured the vibrant green that I was trying to memorialize.

I still shot.

I then came back to the intersection and was met by a number of women who had attended my talks, one by one they drove by me stopped and thanked me for my work, I was oddly emotional as I thanked them too.

Dr Dunn, another festival presenter,who was at one time Dr. Richard Bartlett’s partner( the powerhouse behind Matrix Energetics,) mentioned that he thought the area where the path that intersected the Lodge and main road was perhaps a Nexus, a connection or link association to a group or series of connected people or things, and in cell biology it is a specialized area of the cellular membrane that helps cells to communicate or adhere.That night I had an opportunity to experience my own form of a Nexus

As I walked back from dinner, no one glass of wine could have created this next event. The dusk was ready to drop into the darkness, the purple iridescence of the pending night, became my private illuminati. I was standing right where I had taken the shots from the afternoon. I watched as the road morphed under my feet, my hands changed with a flash of florescent green and the sky snapped from pink to yellow with in seconds.

I had experienced …something.

When I got back to LA, I was anxious to see my film, still in the last century I have not moved into the digital age. My canister held mysteries. The fun shots of friends , co-workers and then…. this.

I thought it was a strobe from the sun, but then It was in two other pictures, the ones where I was told to "shoot" … to the north the south and the west.

I called Becky Andreason my friend who had her family written about in the Ray Fowler books called “The Andreason Affair”.

I shared with her the three photos titled “The Beings” and I said do you recognize this? “ and with a shriek of amazement, Becky said,...

"Marla, this is Exactly what I SEE when an Elder comes to give me a message! The light, and the shape is Absolutely the same as in your picture!!!, My eyes open seeing this Very image again, in a moment it is either gone or instantly tones way down, softly lit. I respond and say"YES"...
I hear their voice and so it begins, I receive a name and the message...
You have no clue as to how AWE STRUCK I was to see this picture you took!!!

I guess I should always keep a camera with me for a flash of inspiration.

Angels Who Drink Coffee and Drive on Freeways

When the sun burns through the haze and you wake, how do you greet the day?

Musing the days events or perhaps pulling the cobwebs apart to remember the last act of a dream?

There is a choice before your feet hit the floor.

I signed up to be here, a contract that I reluctantly made, to do what I was sent here to do.

It it a life time job to figure that out. I think that we are here to take the light that we rise with and move it through the world, the light that you were given the dawn of your first waking day.

I think we are Angels living on a wing of God and a prayer that we survive this earth;angels who drink coffee and drive on freeways, you are here, with much to do.

I wonder if the fallen angels woke and said “Oh F*** it.. I don’t feel like taking what my father gave me and move it through the world”

I think the fallen angels must have complained a lot. Whining that their lives were the way they were, blaming God for their troubles. Lucifer must have hated the mornings.

We lose our way, we get in trouble, but with the light of the day we have a choice to look at our situation one way or another. Its really how we meet the day before our feet greet the floor.

Jewels of Spirit

Years ago when I first came to Los Angeles to train in life coaching and work as an actress, I met a woman named Minda Burr. It was her honest expression of life, its challenges and her passion, having been an actress her herself, that pulled me to her mission. She wanted to share her voice with the world and I admired that, fought some jealously of her, but had the deepest respect for her. She had asked for support in getting her first play as an author off the ground, so I walked up to her and said “Minda, I would like to support your project, what can I do for you?”…thinking that she might ask me to raise money for production, or sell tickets, she surprised me by offering me a role in the show.



“Misconduct Allowed” was mounted at the impressive Sunset Boulevard Tiffany Theater and between the efforts of all , it was very successful . Minda’s connections and friends brought in a host of supporters including an up and coming Spiritual teacher, Marianne Williamson, who had just come on the scene teaching and sharing her message of Gods love through the teachings of the book A Course in Miracles. Within just a few years Marianne has become a stunning NY Time’s best selling author and spiritual mentor for millions. It was always a joy for me to hear her speak either at the large international gatherings for the Peace alliance, or at the cozy meetings in Norman and Lyn Lear’s living room. She offered all of us the messages from God though her, the vessel of the divine feminine.

I lost touch with these women for a few years, but the challenges of life, death of parents, and the pain of growing up brought Minda and I back together. She has been a terrific supporter of my work as a psychic medium and sent me the most amazing women to share Spirits messages. Powerful voices all their own, these women move though life with the greatest of integrity and passion for creating their lives with love, joy honor and fun.

Minda now lives as an inspirational speaker and soon to be successful author, her gift of gathering great gals brought us all together to support Marianne’s launch of prayer filled jewelry.
Though I was still fragile from my process of divorce, I felt the strength of women from all parts of the Los Angeles area. Women who had been inspired by Marianne teachings and who live their lives with sharing Marianne's messages in their multi faceted lives.

Marianne’s warmth and graciousness hugged us all. It was only a few minutes of reconnection, but it didn’t matter, we were connected thorough the eternal grace of Spirit

It was in these new and familiar faces that sparkled with their joy, pearls of wisdom and colorful faceted beauty on Saturday afternoon, who are real jewels of Spirit.

Pointing Fingers

It feels like we have been alerted to more than our fair share of events where individuals will not take personal responsibility for their actions.

The sports figures who we immortalize until their drug tests are positive, the presidential candidate who cheated on his terminally ill wife, religious righters who fornicate behind the pulpit, the beauty pageant contestants who forget they have disrobed for the camera, financial wizards we trust with our disappearing money,and our government officials are all having to deal with their truth being exposed. Our behind the scenes personal lives that are far less public are no different.…. something is happening, more and more is being revealed. Perhaps it is the speed of the Internet, however I think it is something else.

Obama has been preaching change so much that perhaps that word/message is really resonating and having a huge effect. Could it be that Obama has set up Rupert Sheldrake’s morphic field , demanding change, coupled with us aligning with it?

Look out cause change is here.

If we all take Gandhi’s statement seriously, You be the change you want to see in the world, oddly enough we are quick to point at others first, telling them to change before we do.

It is hard to take a look at oneself when pointing a finger at another. What is this powerless human gun with no real bullet? We are so quick with the snap of our feeble wand to transform others.

If you look at your hand when pointing, you will see that three fingers are pointing right back at you.

While I do my best to take responsibility for the choices in my life, if find even my dreams are fraught with trying to get others to accept responsibility.

I woke this morning, laughing at my inability to “change” a dream.

I went back into the dream and tried to amend the outcome because I didn’t like the first one. I tried three different ways to communicate with this person, and I was disappointed in the result every time. Because in truth, I could not make her accept responsibility, I could not make her change, if all people in our dreams are aspects of ourselves, I was the only one who could change.

It was like trying to teach a child the ramifications of what happens if they light a match. I realized before I got out of bed , the child will learn that fire is dangerous when they get burned, but not until then. There are always consequences to events, and we all experience the ramifications at some point.

There is a re-alignment to right resonance that is happening.

It is my prediction that we will all be faced with our egos issues of entitlement, breaking rules, contracts, and promises, with devastating results. We don’t have to point the finger, the trigger by our actions, has already been pulled.

It is the resistance to the necessary re-alignment that will cause pain and hardship. No need to point fingers, but adapt to the change that is here.

Daily Doses of Divine Help

In my day to day life I must trust Spirit.

Everything that I am going through has had a purpose, though I may not like what that is, I realize that my circumstances are actually the answers to my prayers.

Those answers are not always delivered on the wings of a dove, more like the heavy hand behind a sledge hammer.

Yet when I really look, I am exactly where I need to be, to move me through to answer my prayers.

I was thinking about all the amazing gifts I have been given by Spirit as I go through my divorce.

Daily doses of divine help.

This midlife call to action and release, is, an answer to my prayer.

I prayed to do my work and share it with many, be free to live, love and learn to the greatest of my abilities, and to be supported by those that honor love and cherish me.

Spirit in its infinite wisdom would not let me be distracted any longer.

As I sat down to express this tonight, I immediately heard an old song that really does speak to my daily duties.

Paul Francis Websters song “ I’ll Walk With God”


I'll walk with God from this day on.His helping hand I'll lean upon.This is my prayer, my humble plea, May the Lord be ever with me.

There is no death, tho' eyes grow dim.There is no fear when I'm near to Him.I'll lean on Him forever,And He'll forsake me never.

He will not fail me,As long as my faith is strong,Whatever road I may walk along.

I'll walk with God, I'll take His hand.I'll talk with God, He'll understand.I'll pray to Him, each day to Him,And He'll hear the words that I say.

His hand will guide my throne and rod...And I'll never walk alone..While I walk with God.

May we all have the strength to see our daily doses of divine help.

Here Goes

I am ..On the edge… Uncomfortable.. Waiting… Trusting that I will not die when I jump.. Having faith that I will not hit the rocks ... Remembering that I can heal..My skin paper thin.. I write the book ...I tell the stories ...I share with you ...Noting else to do..

... but dive into my new life

Whats In There?

When I wrote “”food in the Ice Box” on March 10, 2009, I had to reach out to others. They nourished and fed my heart and soul, not to mention my gut.

Now I am forced to see what’s in my own fridge.

Funny, I never noticed the light that emanates from within my Kennmore side by side .... until now.

Peering into my life to see what I can “cookup" or swallow....

Well it’s pretty empty.

That could be a great thing.

The 15 pounds I have lost will be terrific, if at 50, will I have the nerve to wear a bikini this summer?

The fact it is empty, means I am saving a s*** load of money because I am no longer buying for two.

My co –dependant nature of caring-like-a good-wife is an archetype that is on vacation, maybe never to return, except for the reminders of half full cans of nummies for my cat.

The most significant thing about it being empty, is that I can fill with what ever I like, the greatest of nutrition. The best,the most delicious or bland, exotic or take out, ….its up to me.

Different for every day, for as long as I have this fridge, which may not be too long,…

there are plenty more Ice boxes for me to peer into.

What ever in in there will be fresh, healthy, interesting, and probably crunchy.

A Pattern of Legacy

Do you think the dog wants to wear the tutu?

I see how emotional, familial patterns are put on us. It is as though we are just paper dolls waiting for the next set of clothes to be dressed up in.

A legacy waiting to live.

As a psychic medium I have witnessed some interesting things of how the dead can affect the living.

Some want to leave behind their greatest strengths, and they will pass through one of their living family members to actually leave behind a great gift. Some can energetically support a family member, by infusing them with wonderful attributes.

There is an amazing moment in the movie Poltergeist, where the Mom, played by JoBeth Williams feels her daughters spirit move through her, and she can smell her essence in her sweater?Though the child for the sake of the movie premise did not die, she was in a form that the mother could not identify. For me it was one of the most moving moments of mother daughter connecting depicted on film.

Then there are others who die that have a strong sense of pathology in their vibrational field and they look for the weakest, the most desperate of family members to imbue their legacy.

The child who has the most need is looking for an energetic familiar support system and if they have not built enough of their own strength of character in themselves, they will adopt something familiar.

Since the dead are with us, and often times not happy being dead,

Their legacies’s can drift around for a few years until the deceased can effect one of their family members, insuring that their pathology lives on. Strange isn't it?

However, we do have a choice...

You can agree to take the good and let the rest go, but unless there is that strength of character, one will be looking to take on the legacy of another because they do not know who they are.

Like paper dolls waiting to be dressed.

The courage it takes to become real, and no longer a two dimensional character sometimes takes a life time.

Putting on your own clothes is freedom.

Psychic Gals Gone Wild

Laughing with other women psychics who got the same “hit” as I did on a crime, a case, a big public question, can be one of the oddest yet most bonding of gal pal experiences.

I live in the same town as the psychic twins Linda and Terry Jameson. They are beautiful, really funny and very talented.

We met at a pool party and between a couple of Margaritas, we found we had a few things in common. We were all three raised in Pennsylvania had lots of health maladies as children and were very artistic, not to mention... psychic.

A month ago I ran into them at the local VONS grocery store parking lot…The conversation went like this…”did you know, ..? YES... oh did you see??? Right, Yes ,and did you get he was goin to jail ? Yes!... and did you know…OF COURSE I knew…you knew that? …duh!”

The three of us answering each others questions before the question was answered…and then one of them, (sorry still can't tell them apart), one said , “you changed the spelling of your last name”….she was right, I did about 25 years ago…

We laughed and laughed.

But we became more serious when I mentioned one of the cases we all worked on. The missing person case of Olivia Newton Johns former boyfriend. He was also the former husband, and father of a child with an actress who sought my help when he first went missing three years ago. I told her back then that he was alive and living in Mexico…

We mused about that in the parking lot of VONS, remembering that three years ago we all three said he’s in Guadalajara, we did giggle at the fact we all three said it at the same time.

However, no ones has been knocking on our doors about that case...

…Spirit has a time frame when people like that need to be found.

Spirit has a time frame that is not ours.

Double, double toil and trouble… I cant wait to run into them again!

The Walk of Good Will

This is the nave in the Temple of Good Will, in Brasilia Brazil. This area is the bottom part of a large pyramid. Its modern feel and transformational vibration I liken to the transporter room of a Galaxy class starship where teams are dispatched for important missions.

I visited this in 1996 and have been relentlessly thinking about it for months. I recently was at a gathering of people interested in the various healing centers around the world, and the conversation of Brazil came up. The woman who I was talking to was leaving the very next day to visit this place. I thought it interesting enough of a meeting to share this with all of you.

The Brazilians say that Temple of Good Will is the greatest symbol of Universal Love, of the exaltation of Life and of Unrestricted Ecumenism. Its doors have never closed since its inauguration, remaining open 24 hours a day. Apparently is the most visited of the Brazilian capital, receiving over a million pilgrims per year.

At the top of the pyramid rests the largest pure crystal rock in the world. The crystal symbolizes, in Unrestricted Ecumenism, the unifying presence of God. According to scholars, it purifies the environment by catalyzing energies that fall upon those who enter the place.

This is a picture of the Nave. Its floor was built in granite and drawn in a spiral.

Upon entering the Temple the visitor follows the darkened pathway that winds anti-clockwise, representing Mankind’s difficult journey in search of a point of equilibrium. In the center of the pyramid, exactly beneath the crystal, a round bronze plaque symbolizes the discovery of Light and the beginning of a new journey. The clear colored path however, going clockwise, represents the path illuminated by moral and spiritual values acquired by the Human Beings’ own effort, finishing at the Throne and Altar of God, from whom one receives blessings.

I found my experience to be one of deep emotional connection to the many who choose to walk on the path and in interesting symbol of the yin and the yang, the dark and the light, side by side, in harmony.

The Face of Change?

I sat with a woman who had this picture in her personal journal. She saw the same photo on my book shelf, so we discussed its resonance and why it is important to us.

She was distressed. In her work with children, she sees many family atrocities and cries about the pain and frustration that is part of all humanity. She wants to make a difference. She wants to change things. I went to bed thinking that she shares all our concerns.

I woke with the idea that perhaps, this is the face of change.

History shows us that people resist change. Anything out of normal existence in the physical world was feared or denied, causing great strife for those trying to teach higher truths. People have always wanted change, centuries of prophecies and visions passed as people yearned for something different, something to save them.

Enter The Christ. Whether you believe he is the son of God or not, he was a teacher who came as a role model for a different kind of behavior. Contrary to the warring first half of the Bible, Jesus came to show another way. Did God just decide, “ gee, I’ve been throwing around a lot of fear, dominion, rules and annihilation in the first half of my book, maybe I better send a peace maker to give hope to all mankind for the second half, ...warm things up a bit."

People were not so receptive to that. Hundreds of male children were killed out of the threat of such change, not to mention the slaughter over memorializing Jesus in the form of Christianity. Is this what Jesus had in mind?

Sounds like man, once again, has stuck his greedy little hand in the pot, stirred it and said ,”My what good boy am I”, as he still tries to control the masses with fear and archaic belief systems.

The marketing of Jesus seems like a constant bad crop rotation of reaping what is sown.

In my humble opinion he came to reflect mans greatest divinity, that we too are connected to the fathergodthesource, and though Christ and his teaching we might recognize this, but once we understand this, you think he wants us to create more separation by preaching that we are right and others are wrong, then cut them out of our lives, deny them love, and threaten them with the cruelest of punishments?

I doubt seriously that Jesus wanted to be split into factions of card- caring- club- members that exclude others and threaten the burning fires of hell for not knowing him.

Didn't he hang with the derelicts, the ill, the oppressed and the troubled? Was he not loving and kind toward those less fortunate? Who was it that started interpreting him to exclude those who did not agree or believe in him?

These restrictive belief systems make Jesus look like a snob. I say fire his PR person.
If he came back today, which “religion” would he join?

You think he’d shun the Jews, his own people, because they never got him?
Would he prefer the cute little Methodist church around the corner, the opulent Mormon temple, the gold studded cathedrals of the Catholic church, or would he be with one of the churches who abhor the gays and use his name as an excuse to dominate, kill and revel in club Jesus?

How do we heal or bridge such skewed beliefs and break this cycle of miss-interpretation and seperation? What is going to make a difference that promotes love and not fear?

What will be the face of change?

Spark of Genius

How Shocking it must have been to be picked up, agonizing pain surging through your body, face pressed against the ceiling, then thrown to the floor, smoldering and dead.

Such was the end of a phone call on September 17, 1975 for Dannion Brinkley. His story etched in Saved by the Light and Secrets of the Light are tangible reminders of the power and grace of God in the finger of a lightening bolt.

Hopefully we don’t have to have strange acts of nature to bring us to our knees and change the path that we are walking, but in Dannion’s case it turned his life of being a son’of a bitch, into a spokesperson for heaven.

In his indoctrination on the other side Dannion learned that part of the reason many people were not living in love and harmony was the direct result of too much stress. In his book Secrets of the light Dannion says that the beings on the other side told him that stress carries a heavy energy that attracts negativity and fear, In turn, this slows down our chakras, drains our spirit, and disconnects from our divinity.

By relieving the stress in our daily routines more light would be allowed to filter through our lives, making us all healthier, happier beings.

I think his books are terrific bedside table materials to remind us that darkness will be pierced by light eventually.

I opt for recognizing that if it gets a little too dark in my world, I can turn on a light,…. myself.