Marla Frees Light

The Blessing of Ben Breedlove

2011-12-30T08:45:00.000-08:00

There is no surprise that his name was Ben Breedlove.

I sit here in front of this imac, with tears pouring down my face, because I am consumed by the strength and the love of Spirit who gave the world a boy named Ben who was intuitive enough to share us his life and death, a boy so beautiful, so loved by his family and born to a family called the BREEDLOVE’S for goodness sake!

I was just introduced to him like many of you, through the news. How he had had a serious heart condition all his life, but over the last week his story and life have been the subject of hope and amazement as he recorded on YouTube his...well, his own eulogy days before he actually passed.

I am moved by the treasures of life but often numbed by my own stupid thoughts of self loathing. Disappointment that things don’t always smell like roses, that my love life has not worked out the way I fantasized, or that no matter what creams I buy or how much I exercise, I still don’t look like Cindy Crawford. The pitiful sad wounded parts of me that sometimes get activated and put me on a pity-party spiral. But today Ben changed that for me, I hope forever.

Most of you know that death is part of my job. You know through the many stories I have shared that the dead give me so many details for their loved ones so many feelings, memories and thoughts that in my job I am graced to be able to do this for others.

You also know that there is more than skepticism about this subject. The life after death question, not to mention the judgment (understandably so) of those of who might be accused of being ambulance chasers, taking advantage of grief and charging money to remove the curse of the grief that consumes us.

But Ben overcame all of that for me today.

No, I am not saying that Ben came to me, as the dead often do, and wants me to track down his family to give them messages... no today BEN and HIS FAMILY have messages for me, for us and we can either feel them or not.

I do find it very interesting that when I wanted and needed sleep, I was wakened with a blast of cold that irritated me so much that no matter how I moved the covers I could not get myself comfortable. So I bitched, told that cat I didn’t want to get up, pulled myself out and in my mid-morning-stupor, turned to the web stories of CNN …. Doomed teen Ben Breedlove shares life after death experiences on YouTube.

I have to do my job, I have to listen, I have to be ready and able to either give messages from loved ones, or I am blessed with having prophetic information that means nothing to me, but does or will to someone else.

We will all some day feel doomed by death, but not Ben. Ben and those he touched

are blessed.

Thank you Ben and your loving family and Spirit, who share you with the world.

There are so many links to this story.... just find him. Or he will find you!

http://www.kxan.com/dpp/news/national/south/worldwide-attention-on-ben-breed

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20557271,00.html

I Took My Time to Listen

2011-12-02T19:03:00.000-08:00

I’ d had a headache for about two hours and thought, I’ll go out, get some air and a few things at the grocery store.

I picked up some little juicy Clementine’s, broccoli, a hunk of dark chocolate and started to walk home when I heard the way I hear things, “ sit and have some soup.”

Ok, well sure, so I sat down outside at my little Chinese-take-out ordered a small wonton soup, downed it and thought... hum that was weird.

But when I listen and I am called— I do.

I started to walk home and saw my friend Lina who works at my local Starbucks. We have a familiar morning relationship that centers around one shot of peppermint and Mocha for my holiday latte.

“Hey how are you?” She buoyantly asked.

“Well Lina, I’m really sad that our Blockbuster is going out of business… I need a hug.” We laughed, but she hugged me anyway and then it just popped in my head to ask about her girlfriend, Kit.

“ Well actually she is right over here”…She led me to the back corner of Starbucks where Kit was hunkerd down at her computer. We all three commiserated on how we like and dont like ordering videos on line… when Lina said, “ today is the anniversary of Kit’s mothers death.”

My headache flared. So for the next 40 minutes we talked to Jo Ann, Kit's mom. She had died from a brain aneurism. Lots of funny wonderful, interesting details that had Kits eyes wet, red and joyous that her mom knew so much about her, like she had been looking over her shoulder in preparation for our meeting. My headache stopped when Jo Ann said to her daughter, “ Be joyous...Oh, and fix your bike.”

They both hugged me and asked,” aren’t you tired?”

“ Not in the least, I’m just glad I took my time to listen.” I said.

This is how I want my holiday to be, filled with Spirit and the messages that they have for others …and me.
And that's the way it was on December 2^nd 2011.

MSU

2011-11-06T15:20:00.000-08:00

I recently poked my head into a College reunion. It was held at an esteemed University that all people choose to go to at some point in their lives.

I'm sure that every political candidate, (ok, with the exception of maybe one) have gone to this school, gotten their Masters and maybe even a Doctorate or two. This is not a place of discrimination. This is where smart, well educated, attractive, or poor and ugly go. Some of the most famous people in the world have spent years there, but they don’t list it on their resume.

Its the kind of place you can attend any time for a refresher course but its not really helpful if you go back.

I came from a family that donated their life and energy to this University. Some of the classes were honorary for me, I didn't even have to attend. I just got the credit because of my family's history.

No tuition is really free. Some classes we have taken, we conveniently have forgotten; then the bill comes, with interest. I am sure that we have all learned a great deal when going to these classes, but can occasionally be remiss in remembering.

It’s the kind of place that some people take such pride in, until they have to admit they have attended.

This well appointed, human resourced destination of education really becomes embarrassing if someone asks what the letters MSU mean.

So I encourage you to do what I have just done, count up the credits that you forgot you had, or even remember how much time you have spent or are spending at the esteemed institution of :

Making Shit Up University, where all skills are devoted on a daily weekly or life time basis in being inauthentic in all forms of relationships, telling fabrications to re-write history in how we want to be perceived, or how we want others to perceive us. The criteria, being unable to be with the truth.

May we all choose more wisely when education presents its self and remember,
the truth shall set you Free...in my case Frees.

What I Have Learned all these Years

2011-09-15T09:31:00.000-07:00

From the beginning.

Getting here wasn't easy.
The sky is blue and sun warm.
I like to laugh.
Big people make decisions for my life.. not sure I like that.
I like things that crunch.
Kitties don't like to swim.
Snow,wind, rain, thunder and Santa are blessings from the sky.
There are things called germs that make me sick.
Other people's homes seem more comfortable.
I want to be one of those women who sell soap on TV.
I love the woods, school, recess.
I run faster than the boys.
I like to sing.
Giving to others makes them happy, I like that.
There is magic that happens when leaves change color.
Music stirs my feet, makes me want to jump, twirl and sing.
Everyone has pain.
I like boys.
I can't wait till I am grown.
Oooh I make mistakes, I say mean things. I am frightened and sad.
I don't have many friends.
Home is a way-station for unhappy people.
I have much anxiety.
I must get away.
There is so much beauty, heartache, suffering in the world.
There is a man named Jesus who people rely on.
There is a voice that tells me things, that guides me.
Prayers are answered.
Sex is not what my mother told me.
Family doesn't mean they like or love you.
A big beautiful home does not mean happiness.
I'm in trouble.
I like telling stories, I don't want to lie so I will do it on Stage.
Everybody has problems.
It takes hard work to find the boogieman who lurks in the shadows.
It takes hard work to find the truth.
I must tell the truth.
I want to be loved. I might not know how to love.
I know how to care for others, maybe too well.
There is nothing better than thundering up a hill on my horse.
I can take care of myself.
People are mostly loving, mostly.
There is a voice inside that tells me things, guides me. My prayers are answered.
I am a woman who sells soap on TV.
When someone says they love you, it means something different.
It means everything, it means nothing.
Loyalty was a virtue, now it seems like a convenience.
Americans are spoiled.
Americans are blessed.
The dead know what we are doing.
Marriage does not always mean forever.
There are unseen forces that care for us.
Difficult things must be learned.
Deep emotional wounds must be processed or pain is not understood.
The dead talk back.
We can hear them.
I am capable of many things.
Everyone needs help.
Organized religion keeps people feeling special.
History shows us what "special" means in the name of God.
God needs a different PR agent.
There is a voice that guides me, tells me things for others.
Prayers are answered.
Everyone is intuitive.
People are amazing.
Life is incredible.
There are massive numbers of UFOs surrounding our planet.
There are unidentified structures built on both sides of the moon.
We are blinded until it is time to see.
Being a parent is a mind blowing job.
Not having children is a lesson my soul needed.
Some days that makes me sad.
I don't sell soap on TV any more.
Love comes in all forms.
Judgment is ego. Ego is fear.
We are children practicing to be adults.
God is a personal guidance system.
The process of forgiveness is life.
I know nothing.
I would not trade one moment of all the pain and suffering.
I could not forget the beauty of light upon the earth,
or the sweetness of the leaving.
I wake to remember.
I live to love.
My life is extraordinary.
There is a voice that tells me things for others.
Prayers are answered.
Pain is exquisite when it has merit.
I feel blessed.
I love you.

"It's So Ridiculous Now That I'm Dead"

2011-08-19T10:25:00.000-07:00

Mandy sat on my office sofa. I actually thought she might be one of the youngest clients I ever had. Looking no older than 14, her rail thin body was not yet defined by any thought of adult hood. She giggled when I asked her how old she was. I resisted looking shocked when she said, “I’m 22.”

I never know how these sessions start, I don’t have people yelling from beyond the grave HEY THIS IS BILL WHY CANT YOU HEAR ME!?

Things are reveled in the frequency and way that Spirit has set up. Today her deceased father came in saying. “I was irritating.” Mandy agreed.

Her father revealed to me a bedroom. I drew on my standard yellow pad of paper a door from the hall entering a small space. Her father impressed in my mind these images. He showed me that he was standing in the bedroom and Mandy’s mother was in the doorway, yelling at him.

Her father then revealed a frame, a huge frame of wood that he had built. At first I thought it was like an over sized frame for a painting, or he was being creative with making a huge frame for the doorway. Mandy was nodding her head.

Mandy your father is telling me, “ She stood there and just yelled at me, NOW can you see how ridiculous this was, cause now I am DEAD!” He was serious but the irony of the situation was apparently part of his personality. Mandy welled with tears and I asked. "Does this mean something to you?"

She said,“You have drawn my brothers bedroom. My father was building a frame for a murphy bed, my mother was mad at him, they argued, he got sick and died before he finished it.”

Her father was sad, sad that time here on earth was wasted, arguing.

" It's so ridiculous now that I'm dead."

The Bliss of Connection

2011-06-29T22:33:00.000-07:00

When Richard Dreyfus’s character had a Close Encounter, his life as he knew it was over. He was driven to find meaning in what seemed incomprehensible. He spent his waking hours searching for the truth, building something that could satisfy some strange longing, a need to connect to something unidentified.

He trashed his job, yard, home, kitchen, and family all to make sense of his need. In that moment (captured by this photo) he recognizes the monstrosity he manifested in the middle of his kitchen existed. That his psychic impressions and fantasies were real. His madness had meaning. His insanity was sane and he could finally lean into the arms of his own truth.

He left what he knew and climbed a mountain to walk hand in hand with those who supported his vision. He found home with the gentle strangers of an Unidentified Flying Object.

This last weekend at the IV Dreamland festival sponsored by Unknowncountry.com,

I realized that I too had been living my whole life for that connection, searching, yearning and finally present to the love that only being with those on a same journey can provide.

All of us there, the attendees and presenters knew on some deep level that this was the place we had to be. These were the people we had to know and this, is what we had to do. Yes there are challenges to be a part of something that on some level has elements of controversy and skepticism, but our attention to shed light on the truth seems more important. This could no more be stopped than banning stars from beaming light. However in our quest there is pain. It is in facing that pain for our truth that we may find bliss.

May we all find the courage to do whatever we must for the bliss of the connection.

Gifts for My Soul

2011-05-01T10:18:00.000-07:00

The best gifts are the ones that my soul needs, but I don’t think to ask for.

These are the ones that teach me the most about life and beauty.

They surprise me.

I have a visitor that comes with 5 friends.

He sings to let them know there are fat sunflower seeds hung in the bamboo.

He sings because he can,

because he must

and....

because he loves to.

It is his gift of song that makes my day.

The DNA of Apples

2011-03-31T20:10:00.000-07:00

Today is the seven year anniversary of my mother’s death. I looked through a box of photos and letters and was struck in a new way at how much I resemble her, and how I'm not as frightened about that as I once was. This photo was taken at a place where she felt most in her element--in her home state of North Carolina on the beach at Nags Head. Thanks Mom, for the gams and girl parts.

Yes, there are many feelings that come up at this time, but no Hallmark sentiments here.

I am deeply grateful. If I had not had her as my mother I would not be the person I am today, have had the extraordinary experiences I've lived and survived, nor would I be able to assist others in their growth and transformation.

The old adage the apple does not fall far from the tree, reminds me that I am my mother's daughter, but instead of spiraling into despair, or having no other option than killing myself, I learned to make apple sauce, apple pie, apple martinis, apple butter and …vinegar. I'm in a dance with the DNA of apples.

As a medium I talk to dead folks. It's my experience that the dead know how we feel. They hear us, see us and sometimes observe what we're doing. In death they know the truth about what they did here on earth and often want to make restitution, or apologize. Their living victims are often upset about this, but when I am able to hear, see, or feel the details of some of these traumatic events and communicate on behalf of the perpetrator to the victim, the person who has been hurt has a choice to accept the apology or not.

For seven years I've told my mother that I was not interested in anything she had to say from the other side. I have felt her trying to impart information, not-so-helpful hints, and marriage advice (you can't imagine how funny that is). When she has shown up over these years it has always been in the kitchen--her domain. I've said, "No thanks. Not interested." But last night, I finally decided it was time to prayerfully invite my mother to communicate. I was ready to know if she "gets" the full impact of her actions. Does she understand the damage she caused, does she see her role in my life and what I've made of it, and can she see the healing that facing our wounds makes possible? So last night I said, "I would be open to a sign from you, that we in fact we're making progress in each others' healing."

The first thing this morning I got a call from a business acquaintance, Kay, who called to tell me her mother died yesterday. She and I had lunch a few weeks ago to discuss my upcoming speach at a charity event. But as I told Kay before we even met for lunch, “We're getting together for something even more important.” I felt it was all about her mother, and more significantly Kay’s deep shame about how she really feels about her mother; the good the bad and the ugly.

Kay had a difficult time with her mother. She can tell me everything because I have no judgment about her hatred, upset, fear, sadness, frustration, longing, anger, love, and confusion about her mother--because I too have felt it all. These are feelings many women find hard to disclose because our shame is too overwhelming. No matter what our mothers' terrible actions were, our horrible guilt about our true feelings has reeked havoc in our lives. This denial made us whirling dervishes of caretaking, co-dependance, fixing, controlling, and cheer leading, and we became emotionally dishonest women.

I know the deep resentment and the pain so vile that I not only literally vomited it for years, but when internalized, I vomited my pain onto others. But real feelings are the truth, and that is gold--the treasure that comes from healing.

My life has been a navigation of all those feelings, and believe me I have done many things to keep from feeling them. But instead of killing myself or others, I am still doing the work to understand, feel and forgive. By facing the issues with her mother, Kay has just started an incredible journey that in time will transform her life and the lives of many others.

Our jails are filled with girls and boys who have been victimized by the wounding that their mothers and fathers inflicted on them. These children made poor choices out of being so hurt, and in turn, became perpetrators. They serve to remind us that we the wounded need to find help to rehabilitate our bodies, minds and spirits.

The ripples of my mother’s toxicity still linger, however my mother's care givers have different stories to tell about the end of her life. She loved doctors, nurses, hospitals and being taken care of by strangers. This was something she deeply needed--to be cared for, but not by those closest to her. We who knew her the best and worked to love her were always at risk for feeling the sting of her venom.

The carnage my mother caused because of her personality disorder and her choices pretty much ended our few family connections. The wounds created by my father's alcoholism and my mother's acting out were the medium of the petri dish I grew in.

My older sister Deborah is an award-winning writer and poet. Her daughter is also an amazing writer, as well as an investigative reporter and healthcare and political advocate. I know these things not because we talk, but because I read about them in their publications. My sister and I have not spoken since we buried our mother seven years ago. We write in separate voices to tell others what we want them to hear, see, or feel about our experiences.

The cognitive dissonance of the stories we all craft to keep our pain in place make our experience palpable for the wounded child inside us. But the child is screaming to grow up and only by going inside the pain can we get through it. Our souls crave this kind of truth even though the truth threatens "the story." The apple tree has been shaken and the fruit of the tree of knowledge is there for us to see.

My mother, now in Spirit, has the opportunity to see and feel differently. The work I have done on myself and continue to facilitate for others is unraveling the DNA of apples.

This is a photo of my mother Reinette Fries ( taken by my father Harold J. Fries) as she posed on a shipwreck in Nags Head N.C. This was aprox 3 years before I was born.

Just For the Joy

2011-02-23T15:18:00.000-08:00

I decided after training for 5 years in Tae Kwan Do getting my red belt and having a few injuries….I needed a different expression for my body.

My friend Liddee invited me to an evening of dance at the studio where she’d been attending class.

I had tossed out my dance shoes years before, so I make a trip to my local dance store for the suede bottom shoes and crossed my fingers that I might be able to keep up. Funny thing, I had danced for years, in shows, musicals, reviews, because I HAD to, taking class was just to keep myself limber and prepare for another role. This time there would be no show,or job...it would be just for the joy.

Patrick a beautiful African American instructor grabbed me and said," You must take the tango lead from the man." OYE…I had only done choreographed pieces, I never learned to let any man lead anything.

I surrendered, however after about 20 minutes, my brain clicked back on and Patrick said, “NO your brain is back and you don’t move as well.” Good information.

So I shuffled off to another instructor Santiago, a good 8 inches shorter, he'd make me dance salsa! He spun me around pushed me up and down and made this 52 year old look like Charo, well sort of.

I was sweaty and sore so I wrapped up my dancing night up in a down coat waiting for the culmination of the evening, a wonderful belly dancing demonstration performance by a young student who had just gotten her masters in psyc from UCLA.

She was lovely and happy, undulating to the beat of Middle Eastern drums, shaking the metal hip trusses in total confidence and mastery. Her beautiful hair whipping, veils waving and her face was beaming. Of course she was 25 and didn’t have much of a belly to dance but I was entranced.Good way to get new business.

So I survived my first two hour belly dancing class.After a long soak in Epsom salts, eating Advil and a ton of water, I've found muscles on hips bones, arms and toes I never knew I had. We were a group of women between 24 and 67 that came to shake, sweat and bond with each other, all faiths and life styles honored and supported. I thoroughly enjoyed the Iranian belly dancing task master who demands perfection from my pecs ...she gets to yell ,she's so good I don’t mind.

I think I'll try swing and might learn to be led, especially if its just for the joy!

Heed the Whispers?

2010-12-31T16:14:00.000-08:00

This new Years Eve I was typing the note, “I am always here for you.” I wondered if that was an invitation, or was I being presumptuous that she might need me? Was I just doing my job as a psychic medium, just being a caring person, or was I acting out the care taking pattern of being an alcoholic’s daughter? These are boundary issues I have had to learn.

I cannot assume that I am needed out side the professional services I offer. BIG LESSON, I do not accost people on the street and give them psychic information. I do not sit beside a man on the air plane and whisper unsolicited information. You would not expect a dentist to lean over and say, “Your breath stinks, let me tell you what that halitosis is about.” I find information unsolicited, but still given, a boundary issue.

It's become a year of understanding more of these boundaries.

People come to me because I can help them see their lives differently, feel what they cannot feel or sense themselves because they are focused elsewhere. What I have to offer as a psychic medium, are sometimes important directives, about taking one road or another, fixing car parts, health issues and relationship issues. I cannot be attached to whether someone listens or not. I care, but I cannot have any agenda.I must just give the information, whether it is heard and acted upon is not my business.

I had one client call me this year from her hospital bed, saying, “ok I know you are thinking I told you so.” By the time she ended up in the hospital I had forgotten that there was a message saying , if you do not handle this, you will be in the hospital in a month. I cannot remember every thing I tell a client but I knew at the time it was important.

What is our responsibility in hearing information that can help another?

A client who did not take my suggestion a few months ago about the damage that could come to her home if she did not take steps to protect from the water, is now flooded. Celebrity clients who had a Clothing Store were warned that they would loose a great deal of money if they did not change the businesses, were robbed more than once. An old friend who has had numerous messages given to him not just by me but by his own guidance is faced with devastating health issues. The point is we as adults have choice.

I too have had to learn this in my own life. I’ve been given messages I did not want to heed, the result has changed my life forever. I am not saying that not needing the messages means there is punishment; on the contrary, I feel there are no mistakes. Mistakes happen to show us something even more important.
If we were warned, then it is clear there is a consciousness inside of us that cares about us and it can be accessed in time to help us. However if we are given guidance, warned over and over again, and we still choose not to listen, then there is something wrong in the love we have for ourselves.

I have learned more about boundaries and the care I must have for myself. It is true that I am always here if she needs me, but I wait for her to ask and if she does ask for help I will do my best, to be clear compassionate. I have learned that in my personal world, to heed the whispers of the message, and let the rest go.

Gifts From the Spirit

2010-12-14T13:49:00.000-08:00

This vintage Christmas card is a beautiful representation of how I believe gifts come.

A heavenly Spirit comes to our home.

She knows what home to visit because she has been with us forever. She was prepared for the journey, coat and satchel, she has made this trip many times.

Her unconditional loving companion,willing carries the gifts.
It is her delight to bring what is needed, what is important...what will bring joy.

The heavenly Spirit watches, waiting for the right moment.

The moment when we are ready to receive.

I just found something she gave me 10 years ago, tucked inside a folder, a note. Her words could not have come at a better time to remind me that she has always made the trip to bring me what I need, she has always been there.

She knows what is best for me, despite what I think I want or need, she knows what is better.

She comes all year, but its in the cold when she gets to wear her coat to warm her wings, that she feels I am most receptive.

To Monroe and Beyond : part 2 The Institute

2010-11-11T14:26:00.000-08:00

Part 2
I learned about the Monroe Institute from Lieutenant Lyn Buchannan when I trained as a remote viewer back in 1996. It became the holy grail of destinations for me, but every year that I filled out the application, something else would distract me, until last year when I had a phone client from Australia.

Irene wanted to connect with a deceased loved one.We not only talked to her dead husband but her father, who told me what she was wearing on her wrist, ( yes I was in La and she was in Australia) it was starting out as an extraordinary session. Her relatives were very clear and then I was slapped with an image of a man with a mustache. At first he looked like my dad, and then I heard “ Bob Monroe”, So I asked Irene, “Is there any reason Bob Monroe would want to talk to you?” Irene responded, “oh yes I am a trainer for the Monroe Institute Gateways and I am heading up the Australia branch". Irene has been on me ever since to take the introductory Gateway course, now I was itchin’ to go.

The wayshower Bob Monroe

I had a desire to go back home to Pennsylvania, a hankering to research a murder back there, and why not go to Monroe and scratch that persistent itch. I had my intuitive itinerary all set up, after meeting with the Andreason’s I was off to Monroe.

Set in the blue ridge mountains of Virginia, it was the prefect spot for a retreat about consciousness. Eighteen of us from all over the world convened to explore what Bob Monroe has written about in his books, Journeys Out of the Body, Far Journeys, and Ultimate Journey. We woke at daylight, had the choice of having a private morning to ourselves, stimulating yoga class, or hiking around the area. Breakfast with every conceivable need supplied, we started our day getting to know each other. We were a mixed bag of hearts, minds, and souls between 28 and 80 years old.

We'd meet in the pine paneled Nancy Penn Center with facilitators Penny, Bob and Robert. These three were the perfect combination of smarts, experience humor and willingness. They outlined what assignment we were to do and then off to our CHEC Controlled Holistic Environmental Chamber we’d go. The CHEC unit was our personal bed in a wall, where we students put on head phones, and listen to the Hemispherical Synchronisation (Hemi-Synch) method to affect different altered states of consciousness. We could make it as dark as we wanted with heavy black out curtains. I like comfort, and it was there in every sense of the word within our persona CHEC units. Each exercise began with the same preparatory phase that we are more than our physical bodies and with that said, all of us had unique experiences that we shared after every exercise.

Some of us flew, some had healings, met deceased loved ones, talked to enlightened beings, were given messages, instructions about work, family, some of us had or fears challenged, patterns adjusted, were taken to other planets, had past life regressions, helped souls who were stuck move on, got in touch with loss, love and life in various forms. We changed and hopefully can share this all over the world with you.

Some of my personal experiences along with my interview with the executive director of TMI, Paul Radamaker will be posted 11/13/10
http://www.unknowncountry.com/

The Monroe Institute web site MonroeInstitute.org.

Irene's Australian TMI web site http://www.meditationretreatsaustralia.com.au/

With a note about the hemi-synch work, there are some people promoting binaural beat methodology in some of their meditations. I feel it is imperative to be careful. Monroe works with programs that have research behind it, so that as student of this brain stimulation you are given proper guidance about this.

Trainers Robert, Penny and Bob, with me in the orange.

To Monroe and Beyond: part 1 The Andreason's

2010-11-11T10:29:00.000-08:00

I had a dream to go The Monroe Institute for 15 years. As soon as I made the commitment everything fell into place. I was on a plane to Virginia, but first I had to stop to see friends who I had never met.
Part 1 : A number of years ago my client and friend Chris, introduced me to a number of  books about the most well known abductee family in the United States;The Andreason's.

Creepy I thought. Having been personally violated as a child I could not imagine the sheer terror, upset and psychological havoc that an abduction scenario could have on any child or adult. I trusted Chris, so I read the books. I was more than fascinated.The detail and clarity of their experiences was mesmerizing, but it was the resonance of heart and truth that captivated me. The same feeling that I had when reading Whitley Strieber’s COMMUNION.

How did these seemingly normal people deal with such adverse and exquisite experiences? Were Becky, her children and grand children all a part of a huge mass experiment, or just the day in a life of some wacky people who had all been brain washed into believing they had these things happen?

Becky, now a few years older than me has been remembering events with the visitors/beings/elders/angels since she was three. These accounts as well as extensive hypnosis and lie detectors tests are all recorded in Ray Fowlers books. Her childlike voice and years of experiences both terrestrial and extraterrestrial made this woman loving, tolerant, deeply sensitive, highly intuitive and funny, we became phone friends. I incessantly teased her about the visitors, who I called the critters , those who watched her, cared and educated her, until... it got close to me.

It was in one of my sessions with Chris, where the room lit up with bright light, and then I saw a green flash right beside Chris’s head. “whoa did you see that” I yelped. "There was a big green flash of light right beside your head.!!” Chris said “well Becky called me this morning and said, if you are in a session with Marla tonight and you see a flash of light, then you will know the visitors are there”.

Becky amused simply said,“ Oh Mala (her new England accent flavored my name), they have always been around, you are just now interested” Yes is was a profound thought that these "visitors" could be interacting with everyone. This is a conversation that not many people have over dinner; worth thinking about.
I made sure there was enough aluminium foil  in my pantry to cover my head, just in case.

Becky often gets her own kind of messages, the kind that a psychic needs sometimes, one sentence messages that were spot on and always helpful in my ever changing life. She has become a dear friend and now it was time to meet her.

Betty and Becky Andreason, and Bob Luca ( Betty's Husband) met me  in a motel just outside the Roanoke airport. They were perfectly normal, down to earth, smart, well spoken, and no antennas coming out of their heads. Yet their spirits were huge, and the memories of 50 to 60 some years of being with these visitors was just as real to them as you and I remembering birthdays, weddings, the time the roof blew off during a bad storm, except these events were extraordinary. My question was how do they handle it all? That was easily answered by Betty, "its our faith and belief in the Lord that gets us through this" as all three of them so eloquently expressed that during our chat that afternoon. I brought a new finagled audio recorder and put it on the table in the middle of the room, what was said can be heard on the subscribers section of unknownountry.com starting 11/13/10

http://www.unknowncountry.com/

Here is just a glimpse what follows Becky around in her yard.
A photos of a craft. An odd bluish orb with a cross in it. A back yard of ectoplasm and light.

Becky's web site is http://www.beckyandreasson.com/

My HEREAFTER

2010-10-27T10:32:00.000-07:00

The movie HEREAFTER has a resonance of beauty and possibility. What we resonate in our personal consciousness is what we will pull to ourselves; like attracts like. I can only hope that this movie might be a needed a shift in the zeitgeist about psychic mediums.

Even my daily conversation of life after death, has been dramatically affected since seeing the movie.I had just been to The Monroe Institute, where the work we do there is to explore other levels of consciousness. I had a vision while I was training at TMI that was almost identical to a scene in the movie. I was stunned and wondered, what other gifts will this movie deliver?

When I left the theatre, I was sober to what this work can do, does do and will do for others. It was a humbling experience. I just wanted to call up Clint Eastwood the director and thank him for having the courage to do such a careful smart film. I don’t have Clint’s number.

No matter the strength of my intention, Spirit has “its” own time frame about things, I learned to surrender to this. I am a student of the HEREAFTER.

Two days after seeing the movie I went to Whole Foods, a popular L. A. grocery. I ran smack into Jennifer Lewis a well known terrific African American actress, who has a strong and palpable role in the movie.

I introduced myself having met her before when I was working as an actress, “ Jennifer I just wanted to tell you what a pleasure it was to see you in HEREAFTER, I was deeply moved by your work". I told her how much I appreciated the intelligence and care Eastwood took in addressing this subject, ‘ Oh my thank you so much, God is good”she said, I agreed. I told her that I had left acting to surrender to the call of being a psychic medium, she was surprised and interested. I suggested that perhaps this movie could help people over come their fears about death and bring a better understanding to the subject, she concurred. I said “Please pass a thank you on to Clint and everyone connected to this movie”. We hugged and wished each other well.

That same night I sat in my writing class heightened with emotion, not knowing if I was sensitive about sharing a chapter in my book, or if I was still feeling the fallout of the movie. This group of writers was pulled together by my friend Minda Burr a feisty talented motivational speaker/ writer who was pushed to give writers a forum. Minda’s former boyfriend Dan passed from pancreatic cancer just four months ago. She had been a part of his life and death and was simply exhausted, a recent hospital stay flattened her; she asked Spirit for help and direction. She woke, knowing that a writing group is what she was to do, she felt it was divined by Dan. She graciously invited me.

Eight of us were sitting in my office when we all started to talk about Dan Lewk. Minda started to share about the profound relationship that Dan had with Gary a vested screenwriter in the group. Their bond was deeper than even brothers. As Gary was talking about Dan, I felt a deep compassionate love pass through me and embrace Gary, then the light on the table, right beside Gary went out. Everyone went silent for a few seconds, sensing something special was occurring.

And then Minda said "Wouldn't it be amazing if Danny is actually here listening to this whole conversation?" And I responded " Oh he's here alright." And then Minda said, "DANNY IS THAT YOU??" Then the light on the table jolted and came back on instantaneously! We all looked at each other to make sure we all saw the same thing. We all nervously laughed, but realized we shared one of those WOW moments where everyone in the room sensed his presence. We knew an extraordinary communication had been given, as well as received.

This brief but powerful part of the HEREAFTER touched us all.

Death as a Door

2010-10-11T08:23:00.000-07:00

The process of death is a subject that fascinates some, but terrifies most; usually do to some hard wired religious beliefs of hell and damnation. I have been part of a number of death processes this year.I feel empowered in the strange but powerful gift of death as life beams through the cracks.

I guess I have a different perspective, having spent years talking to the dead. It is the various things I have heard from the deceased that have convinced me that there is a much bigger picture going on. I believe death is a door to greater possibilities.

I've been shown and told numerous times that when loved ones were dying, they were out of their body before too much suffering takes place. Yes it is terrible to watch others in pain, but the body can only take so much. "I was out of my body before the end came” “I watched as you held my hand, drove away from the hospital”, and in cases of murder I often hear, “I was just shocked that someone wanted to hurt me and I was taken right our of my skin by a loving benevolent force that did not want me to feel any more pain”, “my mother came and got me, I was met by angels and escorted to a party for me”, " "I walked into the light and have never felt so much love" "thank God I am out of that broken body", the stories go on and on.

That is the point when loved ones die, we are left with the pain of their loss. However the living don’t understand that the dead can see and feel our pain too. The dead get a better perspective that we all have things to learn about love and compassion and sometimes they know their death is for a greater purpose.

I recently got to spend time with Bob and his daughter Robin, who three years ago lost their beloved wife and mother Diane, to cancer. Diane was my dear friend who understood and believed in my work. She was a terrific soul of love humor grace and tenacity. We enjoyed each other so much that no matter where we in the world we’d chat on the phone each week. I was not permitted to see Diane’s illness, she’d ask, “can you see what is wrong with me, all I could see was a black wall when I tried, I was prevented from seeing,what could have been helpful to her as an early diagnosis or could have helped her beat the cancer. The only thing I heard was, "tell her to see another Doctor” and Diane wrestled with that, until she finally did and was diagnosed with 4th stage ovarian cancer.

We had time to plan her death. I remember in June of 2007 sitting on my deck in the Hollywood hills talking with Diane on the phone.I was so very sad that she had such little time left when she said, “Marla, I have to go, my family won't grow unless I am gone”. She had an understanding that was bigger than what we knew.

This seemed to resonate in both of us like the gospel truth. "I cant stop doing so much for them, they look to me to handle everything. Some how this family dynamic is stopping them their development," "I know I can’t change this here on earth, only in my death with this transform”, We were both stunned by her revelation. This gave her strength to die and it gave me more reason to live.

Three years later Bob and his children are thriving, they miss her deeply but ever thankful for what Diane in her life and even in her death gave them. Could this be one of the great reasons for death, to help we the living?

Its there opportunity that death presents for growth, or can we only think of the pain it causes? It is that excruciatingly wonderful pain that transforms lives.

Every family has issues, but it is true that in death comes change. Our departed loved ones, who grieve for us on the other side, WANT us to live better, WANT us to be healthy, WANT us to have full and rich lives.

It is curious to think that we have a job to do when our loved ones die that goes beyond us making funeral arrangements and giving eulogies.The loss that comes is tremendous but perhaps the loss is what we need to embrace our lives.

It is in how we see death that might give us more life. Perhaps death is a door to greater possibilities.

My Intuitive Itinerary

2010-09-11T20:50:00.000-07:00

I am traveling, compelled by a force that flooded my heart and head. I have been called to go and ...experience.

This trip was conjured as I lay on my back for two weeks, contemplating how to heal and move through a serious bronchial condition.

I looked at all the emotional triggers for this affliction, and asked, “How am I to breath in this world after having the wind knocked out of me? Help me embrace my new life".

Within three days I was given the vision of my intuitive itinerary. I was shown where I had to go, what I had to do and "told" who I needed to see.

I am going to a place that I have talked about for fifteen years, a place where you are not just your body, where you are eternal and not alone, where they "say" you find other parts of yourself. I have been invited , as student and colleague. All I will have to do is breath the mountain air of Virginia and fly.

The Blue Ridge Mountains are just the beginning. Then onto the back roads of Pennsylvania where it all started for me this "time around".

Like in the first days of school we look to see who has cut their hair, grown taller or curvier.The lines on our faces will prove the many trips we have all taken, but instead of looking for my past I will go there for my future. I am a tourist on a karmic adventure and this is my itinerary.

These are the roots that have supported my growth I relish my investigative spirit as I peel back the layers to find what ever mystery is hidden.

I plan to sit for hours at the local Court House to find answers to burning questions, chat with local artists about their crafts. Relish the new and old with childhood friends, tour the refurbished and perhaps visit places that still haunt me.

I find refuge in the silence of the woods, visit the paths my father and I once traversed together and be the dinner guest for a favorite autumnal tradition of squirrel.

I am on the road looking for the next sign post on my intuitive itinerary.

Finding Grace

2010-08-20T22:35:00.000-07:00

I had to find the right resonance, I had to look for the missing pieces. I was shown, the way "Spirit" shows me things, a sports analogy.

I have never been part of a sports team, so I am unfamiliar with all the protocol, but I bet when a pitcher who was in the starting position is replaced in the eighth inning with a rookie, it stings, no matter what the score.

If you are moved out of starting position because the “manager” decided it would be better for the team, you have to find way to deal, accept and handle the managers choice with, ....grace.

The pitcher knows his worth, but the “manager” interceded for what ever reason, so the pitcher with ego bruised has to find resolve in not being able to make things work. He had to surrender to what was best for the team. He walks off the field in trust of the manager.

That is how God is in my life, my general " manager" who knows better than me.

My manager presented a moment to see my life as a holograph. I took the graceful exit out of playing a game. This was a wise choice.

Sometimes we have to trust the force that can see better for us.

I no longer have to worry about making a wrong turn, making a wrong choice.

I trust my team, it is in the trust of my team that grace is found. I feel it in my bones, or at least for the time being I do.

Webster’s says Grace is the capacity to tolerate, accommodate or forgive people. My team is teaching me how to forgive myself.

This is what is amazing about grace..... how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me, I once was lost by now am found, twas blind but now I see.

Through many dangers, toils and snares I have already come;'Tis Grace that

brought me safe thus far.....

and Grace will lead me home.

The Pyre

2010-07-11T23:20:00.000-07:00

I found a moment today....

...when I realized that what I knew 25 years ago was still correct. Of course I didn’t know it then the way way I know it now.

Years ago it was like standing beside a blazing fire. Yes it was hot, but how close could I get before every hair was singed? This I could not gauge, I did not know what I was burning I just knew that something was being... smolted.

Today it was as though another dimension opened up and Joan of Arc rode into my living room slashing my drapes with her blade, her steed trampling my clean bedding and she forced me to watch a DVD of her burning a top a pyre...not pretty.

She spoke to me, of course it was in French and because I don’t speak French, I will have to …invoke the English.

She said, You! Sister of the glen and mother to none, what say you of your quest to rot out the perpetrators of life, those who you call repudiations! ?"

"You are the one who cast your pearls before swine, they do nothing to you, but be who they are...again you are surprised?”

“Speak no more and get thee on thine knees to thank the heavens for blessing you so."

"Ripping the veil from your eyes, vexing you with the talons of their feet, the spirits of their mistresses the pitiful tale of a boy’s sickening Oedipal prison. "

"What a fool you are! The dye was cast and you hide your eyes and doubted your resolve, you lived in hope and that dear sister of the glen has worn the luster off your charm NO MORE”

“Pick up thine staff and follow me for you too listen to the voices, you who have been called fanatical ,act like it so, as you drown to save those who have tied a stone around their neck,”

"NO need to torch thyself, get on your mount and ride like the wind to catch your destiny, no more childish games, only those of courage,truth, honor and might will ever penetrate your fortress again, or you wlist find your self like love on a funeral pyre”

With that, she and her horse jumped out and over the roof.

Holy s***. Joan just opened up a can of whoop ass on me. To think that what I knew 25 years ago is what I still know now .....and I had to learn it all over again.

Learning is never over; life heats us up to remind and comfort us that what we once knew, we still know.

Bloom in Gloom

2010-07-07T07:46:00.000-07:00

I’m up at the crack of dawn, before there is any dawn here in Los Angeles.

Our seasonal June Gloom, has moved its way into July and I wish that it could be like this all of the time… I love the Gloom.

It is like the September morning fog of Pennsylvania, that oozes its way down the mountain and settles on the fields. Whispering to pumpkins harvest soon.

It’s the color of Midwestern storms that brew in the afternoon without the fear. There is no pressure, heat or stickiness to spawn a destructive force. Nothing to make me sweat, no veiled threat.

It’s so cool, loving, and quiet. It invigorates me.

I have been writing. If my fingers could do what my brain demands I would have had a shelf of books by now, but instead I was pushed to take my book back and completely re-write what I thought was going to be a nicely wrapped gift for under the tree.

Ho ho no, Spirit has another plan. I am in the delicious mind bending experience of visiting every memory.

What I write gives me the gift of watching my own private movie of life. It FREES me of any shame and pain that comes with the review.

It...no longer defines me, its just ...what happened.

I laugh and cry and do not wonder why, any more.

Releasing the pain, the greasy trauma stuck collecting grime.

In this gloom, things are ready to bloom. I know there will be searing heat in just a few days.

But right now I beam, without sun.

Keepin An Eye On Us

2010-06-29T11:29:00.000-07:00

My experience began in the hotel lobby as I was taking notes about what I would say the next day in my talk, when I asked , “what do you want me to tell them?” and I heard , “tell them to LISTEN…”

I was one of the presenters for Dreamland Festival III in Nashville Tennessee. Last year was terrific, but I was a bit out of my mind due to the end of my marriage. This year I was calm and enjoyed the fact I was blessed, healthy, happy and was asked once again to come and do my work.

The trip was easy, I flew with Anne and Whitley Strieber, who are well tuned travelers. We all three scrunch together in a Southwest airline row, passing back and forth interesting things to read, or eat…..(Ok, we break down and share a small bag of Cheetos between us )we do our best to pass the time, even though I am relatively the same size I was 30 years ago, I am sure the seats are smaller the aisle tighter and well, you know, it is just a pain in the ass to find comfort.

Nashville's weather was not nearly as hot as last year, but as we all took a stroll through the Vanderbilt College campus, a place Anne and I enjoy singing old hymns, it was easy to remember how much I appreciate the cool June gloom of Southern Ca.

The Strieber’s are loved and adored, understandably, as they are deeply compassionate leaders in a cutting edge conversation of paranormal experiences. They are prolific writers, founts of knowledge and safe havens for those who are having extraordinary and extraterrestrial experiences. Their web site http://www.unknowncountry.com/ is one of the most popular web casts in the world.

These experiences to most Americans might seem out of the norm, not your typical topic of conversation around the dinner table, but these events for many of those at the festival and for some who are still not ready to talk about their experiences, are as real as us brushing our teeth in the morning.

The other presenters William Henry, Linda Moulton Howe and Jim Mars, are a well educated, and investigative group of intelligent, passionate people who work hard to expose the truth about many of the things that don’t make sense to any of us in the world and then there is me, who does my very best to listen to the information provided for others by Spirit, God, the universe, or as I refer to them lovingly is “THEMS”.

“What else do you want me to say to them”… "Marla tell them, we are with them, we are always providing information to guide and support them”

And then I heard, “YOU LISTEN” and as I tuned in pushed out the rowdy financial planning group at the bar, I realized the piano player in the lobby of my hotel where I was taking down this information was playing the song "God is watching us, God is watching us from distance.." I thought that was a fitting song, so was this the crop circle reported later that day.

Ufton, nr Southam, Warwickshire. Reported 25th June.

Love Is In The Air

2010-05-10T13:50:00.000-07:00

This mother’s day I found myself honoring the day in a very different way. I was alone for the first time in many years to be with the feelings of not being a mother to a child, a cat yes, however not having a human family to celebrate anyone’s mother,I decided to spend the day, the best way I could, ....I worked.

I opened up opportunities for sons and daughters to communicate with their deceased moms.

I never know what will show up in sessions but I could feel that talk and chatter was in the air.

It is in interesting process when I wake knowing that there are loved ones already talking to me about their children.

My cat sitting in the sun let me know what kind of day it would be as he lifted up his head to sniff the air. So happy for a dog to walk by, or a bird to land in the tree, he smelled what he loved. I knew it would be a brilliant day.

I bounced put of bed knowing that my first client was in for a treat. Her mom full of pride and love wanted to chat, but she had to wait the three hours as I started my morning, my electric tooth brush needed charging, the plants a good watering and when I got to my office, more time consuming busyness, vacuuming, opening mail and brewing a cup of coffee kept the dead at bay.

I feel a “push’ that comes before the session, s faint voice saying "I’m ready, where are they??” or I will be shown images by a deceased loved of some urgency in re-directing the daughters driving so she wont be late, helping get a good parking space. Sometimes they will show me how bad a driver their child is, what they were listening to in the car, or who they were talking (illegally) on the cell phone before they get to my office.

Then there are the moments I have cravings that I don’t normally have, cravings that get stronger as the deceased get closer. Ideas of baked beans, cream filled bon bons, even gin can waft through my head before a deceased shows up. Things I would never think of eating are often delights that were consumed and now missed by those on the other side.

In death and in life, love between mothers and children is never really lost.

Finding it and capturing it for brief moments is always in the air.

Sea the Light

2010-04-03T13:52:00.000-07:00

For a very long time, I had the idea that I was to shed light on darkness.

Like a flood light I would illuminate the shadow. Nothing could be concealed from me.

Where there was murkiness or shame, the hint of unspoken feelings, covert deeds, or perpetrators to be found, I’d pull out my arsenal of Mag lights, handy pointer beams, flood lights and go to work, making sure what was in the shadows, or “who” was the shadow… was visible.

It was very affective. Like a strobe triggered by movement, I could capture the beast that lurked. I would then leave behind a snap shot of the unconscious intruder, a parting reminder I had done my job, but had I?

I did this for clients because they asked for it, friends who yearned for it and then those who didn’t ask for it directly, or even want it, got the glare anyway, because I took my incandescent job like the quest of Joan of Arc.

Something has changed. I See the Light.

I often would perceive a lighthouse as a symbol of my job of piercing darkness, but today I realized what had eluded me, the true function of a lighthouse.

A tall still structure, emanating light from a source to guide and help navigate those at sea.

It does not seek out, its fundamental nature is to illuminate.

It is up to those who "see "this light to render its meaning.

Captains who have navigated choppy waters are warned of perhaps danger ahead. Seasoned travelers understand they are close to a safe port.
Sailors know there will soon be a warm bed and hot meal. Passengers, weary of the journey will be grateful to anchor once again to the confidence of land.

It is courageous to travel on the sea.

The more one learns to steer ones own ship,understand the maps of the Gods, the better the journey on water.

Those of us who are lighthouses must stand strong and simply, light the way.

My Date With Buddy

2010-03-12T20:35:00.000-08:00

I never know what each day with bring. I can try to schedule, but jobs, flus and various life happenings just change things daily. The one thing I can count on is if I listen, the direction of Spirit will assure my day to be special.

Yesterday I was stopped at a light and noticed an old friend in the car next to me. His grey temples peeking out from under his TV studio cap. I'd not seen him in years, and he motioned for me to pull over and chat.

We reunioned in the parking lot of Bed Bath and Beyond. Jeff was a casting director. We'd met some 20 years ago as Judges, of all things, on some high falootin talent show, we always liked and respected each other in pursuit of our entertainment business adventures. He asked me why he'd not seen me in years, thought of me for various acting jobs, and then I'd never appear. I told him I just left to do something more fulfilling. We leaned against cars and talked of our lives.

I was oddly comfortable, just having gotten over the flu, I know my face was still showing signs of tissue abuse and NyQuil, but I didn't care it was just nice to see him.

He told me about his life and as his mouth was still moving I became immediately aware of a faint golden shadow that came around the side of the car and sat right beside Jeff. Had he been IN the car, and just decided to appear?

Then I heard, "Buddy... Buddy" Like a memory of Jeff''s voice calling this beautiful dog whose spirit had joined us, in the parking lot of Bed Bath and Beyond.

Jeff looked as me and said "Why are you smiling?." I then explained what I had been doing for the last 15 years working as a psychic/medium and I said " you have a tan colored dog sitting right beside you." Tears came fast as he reached into his car an pulled out a picture of the dog I had just seen.

Buddy, who had died was Jeff's best friend.

We then had quite a chat. Jeff was thrilled, I told him that though Buddy was still with him and didn't mind the new dog Jeff had rescued ...he didn't' like the new black square thing that Jeff had just purchased. Jeff''s eyes got wide as he said " WHAT!? he doesn't like my new black leather sofa?!"

We laughed.

Jeff said I had made his day.

This unscheduled date with Buddy made mine.

Stand in Gratitude

2010-02-20T11:31:00.000-08:00

We don’t learn from winning. We learn from loss.

Yet we try to avoid it as long as possible. Who, we lie to in avoidance of loss, is ourselves. We have recently experienced the lives of sports figures and politicians; lying to cover their shame based behavior, we see they cannot bear to tell the truth for fear of loss.

The loss is a false sense of self, that is who loses the endorsements, the person we all have crafted as an emblem. That very well may not be who the person really is. We as voyeurs can have our annual Schadenfreude opportunity as we watch the mighty fall from puffed up states of grace.

I tried to erect myself as a great partner, wife, and entertainer. When in fact I have had to re evaluate these labels, and because of a karmic intervention I have lost much of who I thought I was. That's the point, who I thought I was, or acted "as if" not who I ultimately am.

Wow, how liberating. I now have great appreciation for what and who assisted me in propelling out of my state of unconsciousness. I stand in gratitude. Of course there is deep disappointment and utter disgust with betrayal, but what a blessing to know the truth and be freed.

Just because I am a psychic, it does not mean I know everything. My sensitivities are used to assist others, but I too, have things to learn, opportunities to reinforce my own intuition and trust that Spirit in its divine wisdom knows better than me.

A friend just had surgery for cancer. She was told by the doctor that her basketball size tumor was cancer, however it was not. During surgery they found it was her female organs underneath the tumor that were cancerous. Had she not developed the tumor she might not have known about the cancer, perhaps not even had surgery. She stands in gratitude.

Another friend is loosing his license to practice medicine because of the actions of his former wife. Her behavior so filled with anger that she used a technicality to strip him of what he held on to so tight his, “degree”, however his license can be reinstate in two years, he could have had a life time with such a nefarious partner. He stands in gratitude.

When the truth of a situation is revealed, no side comes out a real “winner,” there is always loss, in a journey of growth.

When there is damage to a car we have insurance to make the cost less. There is responsibility in proving the offender. Karma is like that too, it is our “insurance’, though invisible, is already rectifying the dis balance.

I have learned through a year of loss that all is in accordance. I can stand in gratitude because I spoke the truth, took responsibility and saw where I was blind. It is grace that allows me to stand between the living and the dead, the light and the shadow.

This is a year of transparency. I must stand in gratitude.

This photo of me (1998) is front of the largest tomb stone markers in Estonia's capital, Tallinn, a foreshadowing of what my life was to reveal as a medium.

A Box of Karmals

2010-02-14T22:05:00.000-08:00

For the Weeks leading up to Valentine’s day, you can’t turn a corner without seeing symbols of love. A red rose, sacred to Venus who is the Goddess of Love. Fat little cherubs, ready to strike, sweets and treats….

As Forest Gump would say,"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are gona to get,” same with Love.

However, there may just be some Karma set in motion for love to strike.

Cupid, is the winged cherub equipped with bow and arrow which he uses to skewer people into love. The origins of Cupid can be traced back to the days of the Roman Empire.

Cupid is a Roman God, the symbol of passionate love. (He is the son of Venus, who remember is the Goddess of Love.) Cupid fell madly and completely in love with Psyche, whom it happened was a mortal.

This did not please Venus at all. Cupid made his mother jealous, so Venus gave Psyche a particularly hard time, consistently tempting her and driving her off.

Eventually, through a small series of human faults, Psyche was tempted to look into the ‘box of beauty’, (no doubt making poor little Psyche feel insecure) and when she did, she unleashed a deep slumber onto herself. Perhaps not ready to “wake up” she stayed asleep for years.

Cupid, realizing his love was stronger than his mothers wrath, came to Earth and searched the world for Psyche. He found her in her deep sleep. Psyche’s heart was pure and Cupid’s love for her was so strong that he was able to take the sleep from her and place it back into the box.

Then he used an arrow to pierce her heart,( a symbol of female genitalia and awaken her with his arrow, the phallus) a destiny that needed to happen.

Perhaps all the symbols and sweets of this day have deeper meaning than Hallmark could ever give them.

It is a grand day when you can intuit what is in each chocolate.Karmals are my favorite.

If we are honest we can "fall" in love with many, however it is the Psyche when awake, that can truly appreciate Cupids Karmic love and devotion.

Clean Those Filters

2010-01-23T17:42:00.000-08:00

There are dozens of filters in our lives. The air filter in the car, the one in the heating and cooling system of the home, the water filter, the lint filter of the dryer,coffee grounds are filtered and most importantly is the filter for our bodies....the liver. These are the traps for the unwanted junk and debris of our lives that when FILTERED keep our lives running smoothly. These filters must be cleaned changed or in some cases, ..replaced.

If we do not take care of all the systems, they wear out or they can even poison us.
The not so easily seen filters of our energetic system are invisible but I can feel them when mucked up, clogged or just plain dirty.

The etheric body captures the negative frequencies we come in contact with. The astral body that is the emotional part of us needs support much like a doppelganger, it is an energetic frequency that is necessary for well being. It needs a good bath, just like the rest of us.

Have you ever felt “slimmed”? The popular Ghost Busters movies had a green flying monster named Slimmer who would when confronted, vomit clear goo. A Trivial piece of info but the context of being slimmed is clear?

I have studied various ideas about how illness gets into the body. What happens to our etheric filters can certainly cause inflammation resulting in probable disease. I know that some who read this might find the idea ridiculous but consider the film that we are covered with after a fire in the area. What happens when a jet dumps its fuel, the radioactive particles left after xrays?

What happens to us when we are vomited on, or immersed in frequencies that are dense and or “slimy”? The definitions of “slime” refer to something disgusting, or offensive in an ingratiating way. Energies can do the same.

Cleaning our filters may be as simple as removing something we eat, breath or the more subtle forms of conversations, places, environments, people and thoughts.

Keeping our filters clean is a daily job.

The Symbols

2010-01-14T16:17:00.001-08:00

There are times when we have symbols to remind us that we are not alone.

Symbols to let us know that we are being supported, guided, loved.......

I've had these for years and years.

Do you?

My recent connection is to watched.....a way for eyes to find me.

Do they find you?

They are all around, just pay attention and you will see or feel them.

Right Resonance

2010-01-03T11:57:00.000-08:00

I was in the company of beautiful music this holiday. The choirs of voices transcended me to a place of calm.

When you sing a pitch/note near a guitar string and the string is tuned to the same pitch as the one you're singing - the string will begin vibrating. Like great music that touches our soul, we are pulled to things that show us right resonance of vibration in our lives.

I woke on New Year Eve morning with a startling dream of responsibility, as though it was my message for the year to share; the necessity to allow the process of ones frequency to change, for right resonance.

I was shown that the vibration to which we resonate changes due to the growth in our lives.

Each of us has had events that alter who we are. These challenges change us emotionally, and sometimes physically. It makes sense that we would also be different vibrationally.

Like the dial of radio tuner trying to find the right station, aligning with the correct wavelengths to hear, see, and inevitably feel the right resonance. Light bends and undulates to vibrations, so do we.

We are often moved to things that vibrate something familiar, yet sometimes we are called to change.

We change by virtue of every experience. It is imperative to INTEGRATE THE CHANGE.
If you resist changing because it is uncomfortable, or it does not fit with your “wants”, the adage is that one will repeat the same situation over and over again, until there is understanding or recognition in the insanity of the repetitive behavior.

I learned over the course of a few years that my body was telling me something was wrong in my life. I found myself medicating my emotions; food, meds, alcohol are easy ways to deny ones truth. However when you have been summoned by Spirit for a great purpose than your own needs, Spirit will help you get clear… fast.

Spirit gave me nudges to change my circumstances, I resisted and I started getting ill in various ways. Back problems had me slow down. Stomach disturbances made we seek assistance to find that what I was consuming was harming me. These issues and my intuition revealed a chain of events that threw me into chaotic loss. The resistance just made it more painful.

If you have circumstances in your life that are not in harmony, or you are exhibiting inauthentic behavior, incongruities’s with words and actions, you create “disturbance”. That disturbance creates a vibration, personal earth quakes. With all that shaking something is bound to break. Our souls sifting out the dirt to reveal nuggets of gold,… our truth. Things are no longer hidden.

2009 was quite a year for this transparency. Senators, congressmen, ministers, government officials, financial institutions, who misrepresented themselves, could by virtue of their incongruent behavior could no longer resist what had to change.

Tiger Woods who by great skill and effort has commanded the world’s attention, however he has demanded all to respect his privacy, an in congruent relationship. One who is so public cannot demand the opposite in his life. However, we now know that this demand was out of necessity to conceal other incongruent relationships.

Perhaps if we integrate this change, we can “tune” ourselves and resonate in harmony with others who are playing –singing-living the similar vibrations.

Our bodies, minds and souls crave Right Resonance, perhaps then we can make beautiful music together.

Summoned by Spirit

2009-12-25T12:53:00.000-08:00

There are no mistakes with Spirit. This is a sobering fact this Holiday season.

When I set my life on a course of facing fears, the horrible anxiety ridden feelings of “what IF” came so fast I didn’t even have time to think, I started to deal. Deal with God for what I WANTED, when and how I wanted my life to go…..uh yea.

Sorta like getting called for Jury duty, excuses explanations and negotiating with a strange bureaucracy until all the machinations of trying to get out of it no longer work in the system of justice.
God steps in your life and says here NOW you MUST go through it, you have been SUMMONED.

I showed up for my “Summons." Having tried to broker and negotiate with God about what I thought I needed, wanted or fantasized for my life. One by one they all disappeared, the marriage, the home, security, my family, or what I thought was my family. The shocking thing is that I signed up for this on some level.

So on this Christmas Eve I had a full day of reminders from the moment I woke that, Spirit in its infinite wisdom reveals truth,when you have been SUMMONED.
The first thing I did was pick up the phone and call Debbie, whose husband last Christmas gave her a t-shirt imprinted with a cartoon Reindeer with the caption”Nice Rack”. He went on to buy 500 dollars worth of weights for himself. We were done with this man.

Debbie and I recapped our sobering 2009, after the t-shirt incident Deb and I wrestled about our marriages, and what was revealed was truly miraculous, we were in awe and gratitude of how fast Spirit ripped each of us out of our marriages, handled our house problems, and gave us both amazing supportive, loving friends and surprisingly, men, who were waiting in the wings to just love us. Knowing the hell she had survived I was so very proud of her. And I bounded out of bed with renewed hope that I too had met the call to the summons.

I then went off on a day of errands; open to what Spirit would reveal and around each corner was a truly a miracle.

A bald woman in her early thirties passed me on my way to the post office,” Stephanie?” I called, she turned and for a moment I saw her as how I remembered her, the chestnutcolored lush haired porn star who was once my neighbor. She cried having been recognized, I just held her in the parking lot. She was fighting breast cancer. Spirit had a different life for her, and she was getting ready to live it.

This was going to be an interesting day.

Christmas Eve as we all know is notorious for last minute shopping, I was getting over a cold I had no plum pudding or roast beast to cook for the holiday so I surrendered to the relentless merry-go -round looking for a parking spot. When one appeared beside a woman struggling with her grocery bags.

I got out of the car, I went over to her and said …”looks like you need some help"…and as I grabbed her last bag, I realized she was staring at me and she said “I can’t believe it is you, I was just thinking about you!”It was Deena, a former client who had struggled with alcohol for years. The last time I had talked to her was a few years ago when I was “told” to call her on a New Years morning. She had fallen New Years Eve from a drunken stupor and hurt herself badly. Deena revealed her scar on her back from the surgery she just had to correct that injury. This of course was no mistake we stood there summoned to the parking lot. No judgment of time lapsed, we just loved each other. It was a sobering miracle to reconnect.

Two months ago Spirit “told “ me that they were sending me a gift that I would never have guessed, so when I was "Facebooked" by my college boyfriend who I had decided I would never talk to again,….I paid attention. This man had bicycled across the country from Florida and was basically led by Spirit to come see me. This was a friendship I had deeply buried 25years ago and thought of no more. Our reconnection has had more sobering consequences. A healing opportunity of who we were and are was revealed. We have communicated and laughed more together in a month than I have in years. His exquisite sensitivities even more than my own, have not been accepted in the business world. He too has felt summoned to create change in his life, and the people with whom he surrounds himself.

I met him for lunch after seeing Deena and we decided to go buy a few thought provoking games for the holiday at the local book store. I introduced him to Geneva who has been a corner stone employee at this Bookstar. We told her the story of having been together so many years ago and the amazing reconnection. Geneva was eating up this holiday romance when I felt nagged to leave so we moved to the long line to check out when out of the corner of my eye I see two of my dearest friends walk in to the bookstore.

They are a couple I have loved and respected on many levels. They have seen me through my darkest of days and I have been a part of some of their most important memories. For several weeks, I have been horribly pained by an emotional distance that has come between us. I tried every way I felt how to communicate but there is no invitation from them to work through whatever they perceive our differences to be. However, I am confident Spirit summoned us to cross paths.

As I gathered up my Trivial Pursuit and Scatagories games walking out the door into the bustle of holiday shopping I was struck with the memory of when I too had punished a powerful friendship, for what I perceived as my friend making poor life choices.

This friend was smarter than most with a number PHD’s behind her name. She had helped me for years with my own life and I judged her choices as being incongruent with what she was preaching so out of fear I removed my love as a “stand” for my point of view. I guess I was just too upset with my own intense feelings of anger and disappointment instead of really talking to her. I didn't want to deal with my own feelings so I became defensive, dismissive of her journey and process . I never bothered until years later to find out what was really going on with her, and when I did I felt so ashamed in my harsh judgment. What a powerful and humbling a gift of recognition as I recapped my extraordinary Christmas Eve day. Never remove your love from any friend, you end up doing more damage to yourself.

I chose to create new memories with close friends at a different church than my traditional one for the candle light Christmas service. We all sang with joy in the blessings of the season. I felt calm and free.

Many of us are summoned by Spirit and as you know, it is no mistake. How we take on this challenge is up to us. I trust we will all be guided by the ultimate benevolence of Spirit.

Her Near Death Experience

2009-12-08T08:58:00.000-08:00

Nothing like dying to change ones perspective around the holidays. Here is my friend Maryann's account of her recent "unscheduled" trip.

I was very ill from a bad cold the Thursday a week before Thanksgiving. I had called my doctor for an antibiotic and then called him again to schedule an appointment with him the next day, Friday. My doctor called me at home on Thursday evening and heard that I had some chest congestion and advised that I come in early the next morning so he could examine me and prescribe steroids just to get me through this rough patch. Having been an asthmatic in the past (but having it very well under control of late) I assumed that I might have an uncomfortable night, but would seem him first thing in the morning and get some relief.

After I hung up the phone with him, things went down very, very quickly. My breathing became very labored. I used my rescue inhaler, but that didn't seem to offer any relief.. I knew I was in trouble. I realized I needed help and dialed 911. After I hung up with them, a dear friend called in to see how I was feeling. I told him - barely able to breathe at that point - that I had called an ambulance and he said he'd be right over.

After I hung up with him, I managed somehow to walk from the living room into the dining room to retrieve my purse .my keys, health cards, etc. While walking into the dining room I clearly saw my dead grandparents (who used to live in the apartment below). They were standing in the dining room wearing vintage winter .coats with lamb pelt lapels. I acknowledged them in the same manner I would any real person standing there- for to me they were quite "real." I knew that they were deceased at that point, and that I was in a very serene place - very peaceful.. It was a "sweet surrender." I truly had the feeling that this might be my time to pass, and I was just fine with it... I managed to focus somehow and get down the stairs (I'm sure they must have "helped" in some way). I opened the door to the porch and closed the door behind me so my pet cat wouldn't escape. I vaguely recall opening the front door and waiting for the EMTs. As .I sat down on the sofa on the porch, I know that someone was talking to me, they were sitting next to me. It was a man in a navy blue uniform with dark wavy hair and dark-rimmed glasses. I assumed one of the EMTs had arrived and was administering to me on the porch. But my friend (who arrived at the same time as the ambulance) said the EMTs took me right into the truck and started treatment. Later I realized that this man in the navy uniform may have been my late dad who was a police officer many years ago. I don't recall any of the content of the conversation, but this memory was very clear. I also felt my mom around me as well. I knew that I was in this peaceful place, that I probably was going to pass on, but that everything was perfectly all right. There was nothing to worry about...

I apparently didn't respond well in the ambulance to the asthma treatment, and the EMTs told my friend that my lungs were in a locked spasm and that there was only a 5-7 minute window to get me help, so I was rushed to the ER of a local hospital. Once I reached the ER, I "crashed" - I stopped breathing completely and was sedated, intubated and then put into an induced coma for several days. I don't recall much during this period, obviously, but I do recall hearing someone say "Breeeeeeeethe..." The triage doctor told my sister that my condition was serious and that if I didn't come around soon (since I wasn't responding to treatment) a decision might have to be made. I had just told my sister not too long before this event regarding end-stage care, "You know my adage: Drug me and unplug me." I guess someone was listening. Soon after that, some improvement was noted which was encouraging. I was taken off the ventilator and I started breathing on my own.

I heard from my friend, Dannion Brinkley who told me that he had heard of my situation and had meditated, sending me some healing energy, but kept telling me to "Breathe..." So I guess I must have "heard" him. I also had to laugh because I had received a catalogue in the mail just a day or so before this crisis and I had dog-eared the page which showed a plaque which (unrelated to this medical emergency) said "The only thing you need to do today is breathe." (Quite a cosmic joke).

I was in an amazingly peaceful place, I must say. When I was placed into a regular room, another older woman (around 90 years old) was also brought up into my room from the ICU, apparently. She was stable, her vitals were good and she was talking to her family about the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday. Somehow, I "knew" that she was going to pass over. About five minutes later, she coded and did pass away.

The other odd thing was that I had made an appointment to see Max, the Crystal Skull for that Sunday - for obvious reasons, I couldn't make the appointment to see him. I have a small collection of my own crystal skulls, but have stored them away since it seemed that every time I would take them out to work with them, I would receive news that someone had passed away.

I didn't know that I'd been put into an induced coma, so all of this came as a great surprise to me... I'm still trying to sort things out and rest and recuperate... Perhaps more information will come to me as to the reason all of this happened. I can only say that it was a very peaceful journey - filled with loving family members who were awaiting my arrival - or who helped to guide me back here. I was ready to go... I guess I have more work to do.... The outpouring of affection and healing thoughts has been astounding. My friend Marla (a gifted and well-known psychic medium) was a great help to me to understand what this odyssey may have been all about. More to come, I'm sure... Thank you for reading this account.... it was quite a ride....

May Maryann's journey give us all pause as we traverse the challanges of being Human.

God's Powerful Process

2009-11-12T14:57:00.000-08:00

I’ve always loved storms. To feel safe in the middle of one is about knowing what protects you.

The power of these tubular squalls can be devastating as they rip homes and lives apart, destroying everything in its path.

I once read that a tornado is considered "a process". I believe that Spirit has revealed tornado as a new symbol for me, of a vortex of energy that I have danced with all year and now follows my call when a clearing is necessary.

I have been inside this vortex for 9 months. Now it is time for perhaps the calm and the rebirth of new and fertile ground.

Those who have fanned this wind of mine are not safe from the path destruction. Dented and scraped, I’m sure they pray the worst is over. The fact is, they will never know when the elements of God will produce this …”process” again.

A friend from far away, who is traveling to see me, recently sat with the sorcerers of Jacumba Ca, and drew from their deck of power cards, a tornado, predicting that he would meet his worthy adversary soon.

I soaked in the naked spa of the Korean baths today ready to be scrubbed when I struck up a conversation with a beautiful woman.

We briefly shared our lives, and when I laid out my most recent past, she said “ My God, it’s a tornado" I laughed,... again, a confirmation reiterated from the universe.

The scrubby pads whirled and whirled around my tired epidermis, I emerged glowing, just as a new babe should.

The mighty wind of Spirit clears a path , removing what is necessary for the shamanic cleansing.

I know I am protected, but I also am in awe of the power of God.

"Soul Survivor" Be prepared to be amazed!

2009-11-06T11:12:00.001-08:00

Reincarnation , a subject that you may or not be interested in, however when I found the story of a young boy whose night terrors turn out to be memories from a previous life and the loving parents launch an investigative probe into finding the truth, ….my world was rocked.

When hearing of the precious 4 year old child who knew the intricacies of fighter planes, I was drawn into the richness of this unbelievable tale. However, when the opportunity to interview his parents for Unknown country’s Dreamland fell in my lap I was more than moved.

In My opinion this is the most dramatic example of a modern day reincarnation story that could challenge your belief system but also put you in touch with the most loving families and have your heart leap for joy at the culmination of their book “Soul Survivor”.

Whitley Strieber’s interview on Dreamland and my subscriber interview can be heard for the next month on http://www.unknowncountry.com/dreamland/?id=470

The web site for Soul Survivor is http://www.soulsurvivor-book.com/

Enjoy and be prepared to be amazed!!!

Life Suckers

2009-11-04T19:30:00.000-08:00

The vampire tabloid culture of “True Blood”, The Vampire Diaries” and “Twilight” disturbs me.

The aggressive attractive blood sucking Adonis’s with the obcessive need to devour the life force of a young woman in order for them to survive… is pretty pathetic.

However it is raking in beau..cu bucks at the box office…but why?

Men, feeling like they can identify with the supernatural power of the undead? Women believing that they possess what these undead boys need to survive, so they will compete to be the greatest suckee?

I mean any bozo can see the sexual connotation of the desire, the seduction, the puncture the drain and the co mingling of fluids to produce a super hero?

Clearly they don’t have the virtues of education or the experience of literature to inform them.

I have been interested in this dance for years. Those of us who are psychic and who care,offer our skills to law enforcement. Not only to hunt for the bodies of these fair haired missing tragedies, but the perpetrators who drain them of their life.

The recklessness and abandon that young women express, need love, so they unwittingly put themselves in the data base for abductions, rapes and murders.

Perhaps their fathers were just not there, not able to mirror healthy self esteem that these women need to keep them out of danger. History tells a sad tale, from the sponge baths after their Greyhound bus ride to Hollywood,( the Mecca for those who seek attention and fame) to the classified adds for photo shoots and agents that often result in signing a contract with death.

Those naive women who think they will advance their career in the trade of their virginity for the lime/lamelight can not be dissuaded, so they must learn this themselves….the hard way.

Joyce Carol Oats short Story " Where are you going when have you been" is a perfect example of the trajectory of such encounters. Oats Based her short story on the true tale published in Life magazine of a charismatic but insecure young man who had enticed and then killed several girls in Tucson, Arizona, during the early 1960s. Oats weaves a cautionary tale of Connie, the bored over confident teenager and Arnold Friend the seductive bad boy in the black car and scuffed up boots that terrified even me as a freshman in college.

I can see these girls from my personal POV, hunched over a mirror working makup into the shadow of their acne scars, self-conscious of their hair in curlers and have no idea they are making the biggest mistakes of their lives, as they bare their fresh necks of youth for those who have lost theirs.

You don’t need to be a Dr. Van Helsing with a wooden cross to rid the world of these vampiric men, you just have to be conscious of who they are and their true motives.

It is my job s a medium to minister the voice for the dead when they have met such a fate. It is my job as a wise woman to warn them.

They Let Us Know

2009-11-02T16:55:00.000-08:00

Animals are God's heart warmers.

They are so very precious and will tell you most often when things are good or not. They let us know that they are happy... if we are happy. They buffer crys, love us unconditionally, and remind us that we too, matter.

A few months ago I was interviewed on George Noory's AM radio program Coast to Coast. George is an avid animal fan, and we both decided that anyone who says they don't like animals, has missed one of the greatest parts of life. My interview turned into a sort of pet psychic program. Which was not what I wanted to talk about, but it was extraordinary none the less.

I realized that people are desperate to understand their animals, communicate with them and want to know that they too have been understood.

I am good in reading dogs and horses, but even though I have had cats most of my life and have had a big yellow tabby as a constant companion for the last 11 years, I just can't seem to "hear them " the same way..... until now..

My cat and I recently moved into our new home. That first day I saw something different in him. An excitement, happiness and grace that he didn't have at the former house.

Even though he had two yards to stalk rats and birds, pee freely and climb trees he seemed to loose the joy of being there. He is older and let me know that he was tired of protecting the huge grounds of my former home. He told me he was relaxed and happy, safe, comfy and If I had just listened to him I too could be the same way.

Here is how he looked the first night in our new home.

I wonder what he has to say next?

If we watch them they will tell us. You don't need to be psychic to see joy.

Chutes or Ladders?

2009-10-14T22:05:00.000-07:00

The “the information” that I receive from Spirit for others can be daunting, humorous, loving and deeply significant. It is not about being right, it is not for me to remember this information. It is my job to deliver it.

“Where does it come from?” , “why do you get it?,” how do you trust it?”, and how do I get it?”, are questions I encounter, and have spent years researching.

Recently I was asked, "how does it get to you? does it come down in CHUTES ??"

I whole heartily laughed. I guess in a way it does come down a path, filament, frequency, holographic spiritual ladder or…. perhaps a chute.

The point is that it is significant.

This past weekend I was on the phone with Rob who I had never met, and was miles away in another state. His job and security was in jeopardy. Like many people the economy is testing the core issues of all of us. He was so very unhappy, but the most important thing about our session was the information I was getting about the seriousness of his health. His digestion was giving ME a fit; I can feel in my body the upset or compromise in a client’s body especially if Spirit wants my client to to pay attention or do something about it it.

I am not a doctor nor do I prescribe medicine, but I do see compromise, and this lovely, devoted, hardworking, man was in trouble. After we got off the phone I felt it was necessary to have a chat with his wife. I was pushed to explain the significance of the information, especially since ever what happening in their lives was deeply effecting her husbands health.

She too was in emotional pain and listened to the information that was given.

Today I received an email that Rob was in the hospital with an obstruction in his intestine. When I read the note, I “saw” the pinch in his intestine and I was shown that it would “release”…..I try to stay as neutral about the information as I can, yet knowing that Spirit had delivered the concern and the warning just days before was extraordinary. Hours later Rob was out of danger.

He and his wife have had a very upsetting 48 hours, but the point is, that Spirit wanted them to both know that Rob’s health is more important than fixing up the house, or securing their life style. It is up to Rob and his wife to listen to the information provided.

It does not always work that way. I get glimmers of how something will roll out and It might not be the result we all would like. The way we want things to work out, it is not always the case.

It is not for me to control, or even remember the information, it is just for me to deliver the messages the best way I can. . I am constantly learning that the information whether it comes down a chute or a ladder is significant in my life.

Reconnoitering Connection

2009-10-03T08:05:00.000-07:00

I have had a hard time staying IN my body.

I knew after years of working with healers and various therapies that I could easily “leave my body," split or disassociate myself from pain.

My survival skills were in place to handle the childhood onslaught of trauma. I lived in disconnect between my mind and my body.

However years of training as an actress helped me to be present while "playing" a character, helping me deal with deep emotion behind the guise of a role, but honestly, when I was off stage I longed to find ways for Marla to get away, and it is all catching up to me now.

The nature of my work takes me out to connect with information, and commune with frequencies that are not of this world. I bridge the gap between the living and the dead. I love my work, I'm good at it, but its not really the most popular topic for a dinner conversation when getting to know me.

I recently re-connected with an old friend. As I was giving a dirty martini explanation of my last 15 years, it was me that was shaken . I came home from that dinner unable to sleep; I realized that I have spent so much time disconnected from my body.

I know I briefly anchored myself in my marriage. It was a safe feeling to know that I was tethered to someone who was much more physical than me. I could go off into the ether's, float and do my work like a information seeking weather balloon, knowing I had a steady point to return to.

But trust, like fine blasted sand just slipped through my grasping fingers, a self fulfilling prophecy of never getting a good grip. The balloon was let go, soaring out of control popped with the pressure and fell like broken space debris.

As I recover, I find I am jealous of those who are fully present in the physical. The grace in which they move in their lives is so striking…it is their nature to Be physical, they revel in it, I am in awe.

My Tae Kwan Do instructors have power and grace at their whim. I marvel and am inspired by the feminine and masterful force they teach with. They just informed me that after my training for four years, they finally see me able to focus. Jesus. My dear friend Maya, trading in her bikini for snow boots moved to Idaho and transformed her professional swimming, beach volleyball days to be an intuitive massage therapist reminds me over and over again how different we think because I am so astral, (out of the body, in spirit) and she lives and works though the physical, yet we are the closest of friends.

I have distant memories of the warm butter skin of a radiant Bronze Norwegian God, whose captivating nature could melt my force field for brief moments, but if this thought was manifested, I might find myself lost in a snow storm and reduced to a puddle. I laugh at the ironic beauty of seeing this aspect of myself and surprised that I covet all these sentient physical beings.

Damn, this body is really important…it is the portal for miracles, and I see now trauma has made an invisible force field appear at my subconscious will.. But I am forced this year to face my fears.

It is the strength of spirit and the nature of my intuition that reminds me, that nothing outside of myself, jobs, people addictions, or medications can rectify the disconnect…it is the integration of our experiences .....and most difficult, to FEEL the process of staying IN my body.

Another journey is before me.

A Peek at Her Path

2009-09-23T21:30:00.000-07:00

I am always moved by how Spirit works. How the universal consciousness and divine birthright of intuition becomes present for others.

I agreed a long time ago to go through an initiative path of transformation, and I was compelled to share it with others. I am no better or more conscious because of my path, however my experience has given me enough confirmation that I feel comfortable aiding and guiding others when needed.

My journey has been assisted by many. Some of my teachers have various academic doctorates, their structure essential to providing scaffolding for me to rebuild myself. Others like me chose the education of life experience and self exploration. There are some who I have met as clients who end up surpassing their own expectations of themselves that inspire me the most.

Stacey, has made choices that show she has invested in love. Love has become her path to understand herself and others. She is at this point, a single mother trying to make sense of raising a son, working in Hollywood, crafting her voice in various forms and expressing who she is in the challenging world of facing authenticity in a sea of illusion. She is the smokeless conscious west coast version of Carrie Bradshaw.

Her gutsy, sensitive dive into her truth is more inspirational than any TV late time drama and sometimes, to her detriment, more tabloid than episodes of the bachelorette, but her journey is the path of many and I encourage you to read her musings and follow her process.

I did not choose motherhood this time around. My “family“is all of you ...and then some. So I am busy with my ever changing relatives. But I look to Stacey as a gauge of a woman of courage and heart who isn’t afraid to live, love and have loss in her life.

She has just refered to me as momma Mia in her blog.

I treasure any reference to having perhaps mirrored to her a healthy aspect of a nurturing woman and I am honored to be a part of her process. How exciting to read about her growth, knowing she is never alone but supported by seen and unseen forces.

I celebrate her voice as a friend and inspiration as she allows us all to take a peek of her path to transformation.

http://www.staceyjwarner.blogspot.com/

Finding Beauty

2009-09-11T18:15:00.000-07:00

Last year in preparation for my birthday, I made a declaration to face my fears. A promise I made to myself and any who’d listen. I chose things that I was consciously afraid of and went after them to face and feel it all.

Within weeks I was out of acting, got a writing agent to support the book inside of me, sang my heart out to find my voice, and accepted I was on a track to really embrace my work as s psychic medium.

I was proud of myself, felt I had kicked some ass and gotten over a few hurdles, however that was no comparison to the rest of this year that relentlessly reminded me of my promise.

I had opened up a can of worms. The promise developed a life of its own. It would not be denied and unwittingly revealed my fears that were, well, not so ….conscious.

If you were to ask yourself right now, what you are afraid of, and then spend the next 12 months facing that, you might click off this site, turn on the TV, call a friend to try and expunge the thought out of your head, but, the truth of consciousness is more beautiful to see despite how ugly it can seem.

In the midst of this exploration I remembered a vision I have been given on a previous birthday.

I heard what I call God, ask me “what would you do if I gave you a shinny red apple for your birthday Marla? I responded “well Lord I would be grateful for such a nutritious beautiful food, I would be delighted in its beauty” , and then I heard, "But what if the apple was rotting and filled with worms? “ I paused, furrowed my brow and said, “ Well, I would wonder why you would give me a rotting apple”.

Then I heard, “just because it is rotting, is it not still beautiful? The worm knows it to be, and the seeds that will soon fall, will produce a another great tree that will bear delicious fruit, feed many and be harbor and shade for what I have created”. But Lord, do I have to eat it?”, "No Marla, just understand that if I give you a rotten apple filled with worms, you are to see the truth of what I give you and find the beauty. "

Interesting that the apple could represent the truth, knowledge and wisdom that is our intuitive birthright, instead of the fear and seduction cloaked in the serpent of unconsciousness.

Are we willing to make the promise to see it all and find the beauty?

Symbols of Spirit

2009-08-30T08:38:00.000-07:00

On the foggy morning of August 31, 2002 I took a walk in front of this Santa Monica pier and contemplated the marriage vows I would make later that day.

I knew that what I was doing was the right thing. We chose to honor our love in a sacred ceremony in front of family, friends and the Spiritual Hierarchy. I prayed that we might have a decent sunset to support the beauty of our union.

As you can see we got what I prayed for, and then some.

It was a year later after the very distressing death of my husband’s mother, the loss of a dear friendship and the theft of a creative property that my husband developed forcing us to endure a stressful lawsuit, that I finally..... looked at our wedding photos.

I was overwhelmed by the magnificence and beauty of that sunset, a symbol of all that led up to that moment. A month before the wedding, we sat in a small ashram where I prayed that God might find a way to show me that our marriage was blessed. So I silently prayed that God would drop a flower out of the ceiling in to my hand to let me know that “He” was on board with this decision.

I was surprised that such a thought had entered my head." How strange" I thought to ask for a flower to appear, let alone the grandiose idea, that a flower might be manifested and dropped into my hand as a symbol of support. I shook my head at the silliness of such a notion, just then a lovely woman who sat beside me turned to me, placed a flower in my hand and said,... "You are blessed”…I swooned with this confirmation.

This sunset I took as another of God’s symbols . The breathtaking set design for us to “act out” our lives, but perhaps a foreshadowing of the allegory that would frame the backdrop of our marriage.

In front of God, we were shadowed, locked in an embrace, with a roller coaster, Ferris wheel and set of monkey bars behind us.

I remember we laughed at the roller coaster and on our first anniversary, decided that perhaps getting on that Santa Monica Pier roller coaster might be a fun way to celebrate surviving that first year. I now feel it solidified it as a symbol of our marriage.

Symbols when infused with intent can have power. The notion of taking a constant ride, or the ever ending ups and downs of a roller coaster, might make us want to swing to another playground, and things did roll out, the way it was designed.

Time will heal most anything. I prefer to remember the color, depth and great blessings that accompanied that day and the years that followed even if we now stroll off into our separate sunsets.Better than Scarlet O'Hara in "Gone with the Wind," but similar in her tenaciousness....

I relish the blessings that are Symbols of Spirit.

Serenity

2009-08-24T17:16:00.000-07:00

I have loved therefor I have lived...

I have lost therefor I have learned...

When I pray I expect answers...

The answers may not be the ones I was looking for...

They are answers just the same...

Perhaps we don't always know what is best for us....

It takes a lifetime to learn the difference...

My Conscious Self

2009-08-16T08:12:00.000-07:00

I wanted to be on the president’s fitness club in grade school.

My skinny little arms could not pull me up the chin-up bar, and despite my 100 sit ups, and running faster than any of my classmates,(even the boys), I didn’t get that coveted certificate in Mr. Masterson’s sixth grade class.

Though I am blessed with the genetics of a few good body parts, the rigors and merit of building upper body strength escaped me. Running track, a few years of tennis, dance, and being a two baton twirler, I never had enough definition in my arms to not feel ....akward in a tank top.

I felt self conscious.

Something was missing, and I knew I wanted to pump myself up, but what did I really need to pump up to feel good about me?

I believe that there is something in how we take care of ourselves that defines the consciousness of who we are. There is a statement of well being that a “toned” body says, and perhaps in order to tone, I had to “tune” me. I had to become conscious of myself.

It is hard work building muscles. The effort and the pain that it takes to build something strong takes time and intention. Not a fan of gyms, I wanted the expression of my health to manifest in the physcial, I wanted to see the definition of hard work, health and consciousness.

My focus has been on re-structuring the emotional foundation of my life by repairing the floorboards of a shaky childhood, filling in the cracks of damage and building the muscle of a spiritual practice.

Imagine my surprise yesterday when I looked in the mirror of my Tae Kwan do studio yesterday and saw my deltoids, triceps and biceps,defined for the very first time. I thought, is my eyesight getting better, am I standing closer to the mirrors? Maybe my protein shake was helping……

I was amused that after 4 years of the study of martial arts as a way for me to gain more health, strength and focus; I was actually now manifesting the outward expression of the inner dialogue.

These repairs though internal, have begun to bare witness to all my hard work.

I wanted to be strong, I needed to be strong and the juicy plump of the "Mad Men girls” might be appealing to some as a soft place of feminine wiles to escape to or hide behind, but I had to have the fine tuning of the conscious conversation of my life to support my skin.

The Notes

2009-08-10T12:51:00.000-07:00

It is my form of meditation. I sit in a quiet space with a pad of yellow legal paper, a good flowing pen and I talk to God.

It started in 2001 when I had a very odd accident with my dog, who inadvertently sliced the end of my nose off with his teeth…never feeling it, or seeing how it actually happened, it was in that trauma that something broke open; my willingness to hear from God.

I began to take down the messages and information about all sorts of things. Within months, I received information about the splitting of democracy, the rise of Islamic fundamentalism, and the fall of the eagle . That it would not be the shock of evil that we would remember but the way we as a nation dealt with things afterward. Then 911 happened.

I got information about how L dopamine would assist Parkinson’s patients, and then a few months later a Nobel Prize was given to such research.

I found the notes exciting and terrifying at that same time. I read them to the people who were the closest in my life at the time, I gave them to people who I felt the notes were for.

I was training myself to listen. I am sure that not all dates or things I had dictated to me were not all on point, but it was enough to keep me questioning our connection to God/Spirit and the fact that in these messages could be miracles.

My husband at the time and I went through a painful law suit against a major Hollywood icon and the notes were often contrary to how we wanted things to work out. That is important, in the process of taking dictation, that what we want , may not be in our best interest. So messages that are contrary to the way we live our lives may be important to listen to.

We were waiting for money. The notes predicted a the date of December 17 when it would come, however so much anxiety had transpired that by the time the check did come on December 17, we had lost ….faith?

The notes were there and so was the source to trust it. We were just too caught up in our painful lives to be grateful, it is hard to have faith in troubled times.

But it is in the notes that I get before I work with someone where there is amazing that happens, the gift of information that is so right-on about someone I have never met , know nothing about, that is revealed on a yellow pad. God/Spirit can assist us in our lives and help us is available to all of us, if we take the time to listen.

My notes end up in all sorts of strange places. The point is that they are for someone to read, I have to trust that they will get into the hands of the people they are for.

God's Personal Guidance System

2009-08-01T15:11:00.000-07:00

As I have said many times, I am always surprised at the information that is revealed by Spirit to us.
Sometimes it is because a deceased person needs to communicate with a loved one, other times it is the divine psychic nature of God that calls us to re-connect back to the Source, a place of loving information that is part of our birthright.

Who could have thought GPS might mean God's Personal Guidance System?

The fact that I assist others in hearing the guidance is a vocation that has taken years to embrace. I have had to accept that this happens even if I am at the grocery store, in a cab, 10,000 miles away, or even in my own back yard.

It is my job to help people connect to the source of their divinity and their own intuition.

Of course I have my own struggles and am constantly learning. Every day I am given information that if I choose to listen to, can guide me in my growth too, and through a series of dramatic events, Spirit has made more room in my life so that I can be "on call" for others who want assistance.

This week presented an awakening for a woman who I have shared pleasantries with, never an in-depth conversation about the meaning of the work I do, however there was enough room in my life to see, feel and hear her. GPS offered direction.

Life happens, no one can know what will trigger illumination. The day to day shuffling of children to school, can be interrupted, with something minor, or tragic. We don’t know what is being designed to get our attention.

We never know when we need direction, until it happens.

Today the message for this woman was :

There comes a time in a woman’s life where who she is must be revealed. It is when there is an alignment with the terror of her own wisdom, her truth, and the reminder of a Spiritual contract. It is a window into the depth of her soul.
She is called to listen, pushed to see. She must heed the sacred pull to the force of nature that created her.
How else will she know who she is. She will be shown, led, and if she listens, she has God's Personal Guidance system available in the conscious request of a prayer.
It is in knowing her truth that she will know herself. Her truth will set her free.

It is humbling and magical to know there is a guidance system for us all.

Don't Forget the View

2009-07-30T17:33:00.000-07:00

When on a train we are usually trying to get someplace; a destination that means something.

We are compelled to take that form of transport for a reason, economic, employment, perhaps emotional.

The ride can be filled with curiosity, chatting with fellow travelers, or sequestered into a world of information via news papers, Internet or taken to another time and place through a book.

Some are annoyed at having to take the trip, an impediment to their routine, their expected existence. But life is happening on, and outside that train, it is available if you care to look. It is the world outside, the world that offers more.

Recently I have had a few friends remind me of that. As they mention the view from their personal trains.

Life has pushed them into having to take the train, drive it and get to where they are going.

Pressed inside as their day to day view is either mundane or uncomfortable, they get on a train no foot on the pedal, their life now in the hands of the conductor.

Even if they had an agenda, beside them is another view. If they decide to notice is the glorious scenery.

I am happy to be reminded of this, as I work to get from point A to D. The ride can be inspiring when we don’t forget the view.

Dust Off Your Dominoes

2009-07-24T09:26:00.000-07:00

Wikipedia says that the domino effect is a chain reaction that occurs when a small change causes a similar change nearby, which then will cause another similar change, and so on in linear sequence. The term is best known as a mechanical effect, and is used as an analogy to a falling row of dominoes. It typically refers to a linked sequence of events where the time between successive events is relatively small.

We know by virtue of our media that the thoughts that are verbalized by politicians, money experts, and even David Letterman can have dramatic affect and incite millions.

What happens if we carefully choose to when,where, how and what dominos of our own to nudge?

Right before I speak to groups I ask "how should I start this talk?” And I am led to address by Spirit what is the most important point for the two hours.

Yes, I know I will be discussing all sorts of psychic phenomenon, and messages from departed loved ones, but for the Dreamland conference in Nashville I was told. “you must address how important everyone's physical system is and there are a number of people in the group whose bodies are severely compromised"

I got in front of the crowd and quickly sketched on a large paperboard a mass of information and guidance above us available to us, with lines of communication attached to us...the point was how we as humans need keep our vehicles (bodies) in good shape to be able to receive and embody the important information and guidance available to us….So I complied.

I was specifically led to talk to a few people about diabetes and hidden health issues. There was a bit of an upset by a few pissed off participants who got activated by the talk, but that is bound to happen when people are challenged in areas that they have secrets and shame.

These ripples some times take only minutes to roll out but, sometimes days and weeks can pass.

I came back to my ever changing personal life revealing thousands of my own dominoes that I have overtly/ covertly knocked down in the face my change. Watching as everything falls down, to be re-built, forgetting what I pushed a few weeks ago, But today I am inspired that perhaps there are miracles in the movement of change and I am on the right track.

Ben, a participant at the Dreamland festival is in the process of personal transformation. He like many has struggled with historical wounding, but he is now being led, assisted, and guided to strike at his dusty dominoes. Embracing what he learns and taking action for inevitable change. He pushed himself to the festival and things are rolling out.He asked for help and he is getting it.

I believe that I signed up to be pushed by Spirit, to push a few dusty dominoes, to re-calibrate with light and to assist others in finding their right resonance.

Ben is now in the exciting transformational metamorphosis of his life, flowing and moving inspired by Spirit to trust the chain reaction to take right resonance in action. He is an inspiration.

Thank you Ben for reminding me why I do my work.

Facinating Find

2009-07-12T13:23:00.000-07:00

April 9, 2007—Geologist Juan Manuel García-Ruiz calls it "the Sistine Chapel of crystals," but Superman could call it home.

A sort of south-of-the-border Fortress of Solitude, Mexico's Cueva de los Cristales (Cave of Crystals) contains some of the world's largest known natural crystals—translucent beams of gypsum as long as 36 feet (11 meters). How did the crystals reach such superheroic proportions? In the new issue of the journal Geology, García-Ruiz reports that for millennia the crystals thrived in the cave's extremely rare and stable natural environment.

Temperatures hovered consistently around a steamy 136 degrees Fahrenheit (58 degrees Celsius), and the cave was filled with mineral-rich water that drove the crystals' growth. Modern-day mining operations exposed the natural wonder by pumping water out of the 30-by-90-foot (10-by-30-meter) cave, which was found in 2000 near the town of Delicias (Chihuahua state map).

Now García-Ruiz is advising the mining company to preserve the caves. "There is no other place on the planet," García-Ruiz said, "where the mineral world reveals itself in such beauty."

This is an article I found on the National Geographic site for this phenomenon, it is so exciting and can be a source of fascination for anyone who finds crystals interesting.

I watched the documentary on the Nat Geo TV station and found it very exciting, so I share it with you.

Our Extended Family

2009-07-02T19:57:00.000-07:00

I had no agenda when I flew to Nashville for my first Unknown country’s Dreamland Festival.
I just wanted to show up and share.

I have been a part of this family as one of the web radio "hosts" for two years now, and I was excited to see what meeting some of my extended family might be like.

Gatherings of like minded people fascinate me. There is a morphic field created and I believe that when two or more are “gathered in my name”, ( as Jesus would say) things are bout to happen.

This weekend felt like the "name" was an immersion into another consciousness.

From the stargate Christian ideas that William Henry shared, the stunning and I mean stunning presentation Linda Moulton Howe's address on crop circles, Jim Mar’s deep reservoir of mind bending knowledge to the ever present space of love and compassion that Anne and Whitley Strieber create for those whose earth experience is…. out of this world, it was a remarkable event.

The many years of experiences that have led Whitley and Anne to pull together such a team is ….well, for the sake of others.

The “Others” are a group of interested people, interested in layers of life that have unique and deep and powerful meaning to them all.

We all braved the oppressive heat of Nashville’s 90 plus temperatures to bath in the cool and edgy conversations of the visitors, their messages and what they have to do with all of us

Yes, Whitley continues to be the consummate novelist that makes him popular, but it is his exigent and extraordinary experience that “Communion” was based on that is the familial history of why most attended, and why I too, am part of this group.

It is a family; a quirky, gifted, unique group, who I had the pleasure of being with.

Here is a family photo.

http://www.cropcircleconnector.com/2009/southfield2/southfield2009b.html

Ya Worried?

2009-06-14T09:43:00.000-07:00

I was raised in south central Pennsylvania in a beautiful isolated town that takes two and a half hours to get to the nearest international airport, one hour to the nearest city and I didn’t see a McDonald’s until I was 16.

It’s a Norman Rockwell dream nestled in the Allegheny Mountains, where front page news is limited to petty theft, 4H winners, or an occasional drunk driver charged with running over a mail box. It is a town that is 98% white.

There are 150 different congregations of churches, one movie theatre, and the average income is 40k. The main businesses are agricultural, machinery, construction and health care.

It is a preserved slice of Americana, I loved growing up in my home town.

Those who are still there from my 60s-70s rein still remember me as the singing twirling, personable gal. Perhaps no one really knew me.

However some of the towns-folk are now “worried” about me. It does not matter that I threw myself at the foot of the cross as youth based born again Christian, or that I have used my God given abilities of intuition to help people and work for law enforcement, nope, some of my home townies are strict with their belief in God's word. So the rules of Deuteronomy and Leviticus prove Gods eternal damnation for talking to the dead or using psychic abilities,..... hence the worry.

Could it be that in some Christian sects feel that all the blessed angels, profound dreams, great visions, inspiration, proven prophecy, help from the holy spirit (not to mention talking to Christ who promised ever lasting life), that are the fundamental foundations of the Bible just stopped after the bible was written?

Someone better inform the preachers who, sell books, do TV shows and collect donations every week that their tenure was over a long time ago.

Best we all re -acquaint ourselves with OLD testaments of Deuteronomy and Leviticus for good advice if we want to make sure our souls are not dammed.

Cause according to Deut and Levit, everyone who curses his mother of father will be put to death, the slaves at that come from the nations around us, we can buy; what a novel new business in this failing economy, slavery.

Farmers who plant two different kinds of crops are against God, Sleeping beside your husband when you are having your period will get you thrown out of town, you're dammed if you cut off your sideburns and beard, you will fry for eating a BLT sandwich, if you wear cotton panties with a nylon skirt you'll be dancing with the devil and you cant mix meat with dairy, right? So that ham and cheese sandwich might just lock up a soul forever....who knew ordering surf and turf is a sin?

The scales of Gods HISTORICAL justice seem to make talking to the dead not so bad when weighed against all that.

Who should be worried? The patrons of the Red Lobster about 30 miles outside of my home town.

In the Eye of the Storm

2009-06-12T08:28:00.000-07:00

I had a dream. I was at a Tupperware party. There was Cindy Lauper kind o' gal giving tarot card readings , but when she came to me she was reticent knowing I was psychic, she shyly asked me ,” Do you want me to pull a card for you?, ”Of course I said!” I had no judgment of her talent or use of cards, she was warm and I was in a party atmosphere, even if it was Tupperware.

The card was white with red and black lettering. It was the Queen of Hearts, but there were diamonds and spades around the Queen, signifying difficulties.

She then looked at me and said, “You seem to be in the middle of a storm, what is it about storms that you like?”

I was filled with joy as I realized I always loved the rain the thunder the flash of lightening, and as child even in a hurricane I felt safe, so I said ...

“It is the ability to be safe despite the swirling storm outside of me”

My life flew by me like Dorthy Gales' vision of all the things she loved and feared swirling around her when in the eye of the storm.

I remember her reacting to everything she saw but never did she run away.

She rode that bouncing bed, landing her right in the middle of OZ....

... on top of the witch...

....the beginning of her transformational odyssey.

It is our job to be safe no matter where we are, to be OK during the storm, and perhaps even enjoy the ride.

The Being

2009-05-28T11:22:00.000-07:00

My Trip to the Sun Valley Wellness Festival as a first time presenter was filled with great surprises.

My workshop and talks were met by extraordinary people and I feel that Spirit in its infinite wisdom gave me as much clear information as my vessel could hear. When I had completed my work I wanted to wander into the beauty of the land that surrounded the Sun Valley Lodge. I wanted to bring home some Kodak moments, I was on a mission.

My mission I thought, was to take pictures of an area that had the most wonderful array of trees with every conceivable color of green…I was so attracted to this small 3 mile stretch between the lodge and town I could not wait to capture the color to remind me of my trip.

As I came back to the intersection of the Lodge and the main road, I was told, “take pictures “here”…so I shot ..three pictures from the same spot, shooting toward the north ,west, and south. The sun was never behaving, as I waited for it to creep out from behind the clouds. I laughed at myself, as I mentally tried to move the gauzy filters that obscured the vibrant green that I was trying to memorialize.

I still shot.

I then came back to the intersection and was met by a number of women who had attended my talks, one by one they drove by me stopped and thanked me for my work, I was oddly emotional as I thanked them too.

Dr Dunn, another festival presenter,who was at one time Dr. Richard Bartlett’s partner( the powerhouse behind Matrix Energetics,) mentioned that he thought the area where the path that intersected the Lodge and main road was perhaps a Nexus, a connection or link association to a group or series of connected people or things, and in cell biology it is a specialized area of the cellular membrane that helps cells to communicate or adhere.That night I had an opportunity to experience my own form of a Nexus

As I walked back from dinner, no one glass of wine could have created this next event. The dusk was ready to drop into the darkness, the purple iridescence of the pending night, became my private illuminati. I was standing right where I had taken the shots from the afternoon. I watched as the road morphed under my feet, my hands changed with a flash of florescent green and the sky snapped from pink to yellow with in seconds.

I had experienced …something.

When I got back to LA, I was anxious to see my film, still in the last century I have not moved into the digital age. My canister held mysteries. The fun shots of friends , co-workers and then…. this.

I thought it was a strobe from the sun, but then It was in two other pictures, the ones where I was told to "shoot" … to the north the south and the west.

I called Becky Andreason my friend who had her family written about in the Ray Fowler books called “The Andreason Affair”.

I shared with her the three photos titled “The Beings” and I said do you recognize this? “ and with a shriek of amazement, Becky said,...

"Marla, this is Exactly what I SEE when an Elder comes to give me a message! The light, and the shape is Absolutely the same as in your picture!!!, My eyes open seeing this Very image again, in a moment it is either gone or instantly tones way down, softly lit. I respond and say"YES"...
I hear their voice and so it begins, I receive a name and the message...
You have no clue as to how AWE STRUCK I was to see this picture you took!!!

I guess I should always keep a camera with me for a flash of inspiration.

Angels Who Drink Coffee and Drive on Freeways

2009-05-18T09:18:00.001-07:00

When the sun burns through the haze and you wake, how do you greet the day?

Musing the days events or perhaps pulling the cobwebs apart to remember the last act of a dream?

There is a choice before your feet hit the floor.

I signed up to be here, a contract that I reluctantly made, to do what I was sent here to do.

It it a life time job to figure that out. I think that we are here to take the light that we rise with and move it through the world, the light that you were given the dawn of your first waking day.

I think we are Angels living on a wing of God and a prayer that we survive this earth;angels who drink coffee and drive on freeways, you are here, with much to do.

I wonder if the fallen angels woke and said “Oh F*** it.. I don’t feel like taking what my father gave me and move it through the world”

I think the fallen angels must have complained a lot. Whining that their lives were the way they were, blaming God for their troubles. Lucifer must have hated the mornings.

We lose our way, we get in trouble, but with the light of the day we have a choice to look at our situation one way or another. Its really how we meet the day before our feet greet the floor.

Jewels of Spirit

2009-05-11T09:25:00.000-07:00

Years ago when I first came to Los Angeles to train in life coaching and work as an actress, I met a woman named Minda Burr. It was her honest expression of life, its challenges and her passion, having been an actress her herself, that pulled me to her mission. She wanted to share her voice with the world and I admired that, fought some jealously of her, but had the deepest respect for her. She had asked for support in getting her first play as an author off the ground, so I walked up to her and said “Minda, I would like to support your project, what can I do for you?”…thinking that she might ask me to raise money for production, or sell tickets, she surprised me by offering me a role in the show.

“Misconduct Allowed” was mounted at the impressive Sunset Boulevard Tiffany Theater and between the efforts of all , it was very successful . Minda’s connections and friends brought in a host of supporters including an up and coming Spiritual teacher, Marianne Williamson, who had just come on the scene teaching and sharing her message of Gods love through the teachings of the book A Course in Miracles. Within just a few years Marianne has become a stunning NY Time’s best selling author and spiritual mentor for millions. It was always a joy for me to hear her speak either at the large international gatherings for the Peace alliance, or at the cozy meetings in Norman and Lyn Lear’s living room. She offered all of us the messages from God though her, the vessel of the divine feminine.

I lost touch with these women for a few years, but the challenges of life, death of parents, and the pain of growing up brought Minda and I back together. She has been a terrific supporter of my work as a psychic medium and sent me the most amazing women to share Spirits messages. Powerful voices all their own, these women move though life with the greatest of integrity and passion for creating their lives with love, joy honor and fun.

Minda now lives as an inspirational speaker and soon to be successful author, her gift of gathering great gals brought us all together to support Marianne’s launch of prayer filled jewelry.
Though I was still fragile from my process of divorce, I felt the strength of women from all parts of the Los Angeles area. Women who had been inspired by Marianne teachings and who live their lives with sharing Marianne's messages in their multi faceted lives.

Marianne’s warmth and graciousness hugged us all. It was only a few minutes of reconnection, but it didn’t matter, we were connected thorough the eternal grace of Spirit

It was in these new and familiar faces that sparkled with their joy, pearls of wisdom and colorful faceted beauty on Saturday afternoon, who are real jewels of Spirit.

Pointing Fingers

2009-05-06T12:42:00.000-07:00

It feels like we have been alerted to more than our fair share of events where individuals will not take personal responsibility for their actions.

The sports figures who we immortalize until their drug tests are positive, the presidential candidate who cheated on his terminally ill wife, religious righters who fornicate behind the pulpit, the beauty pageant contestants who forget they have disrobed for the camera, financial wizards we trust with our disappearing money,and our government officials are all having to deal with their truth being exposed. Our behind the scenes personal lives that are far less public are no different.…. something is happening, more and more is being revealed. Perhaps it is the speed of the Internet, however I think it is something else.

Obama has been preaching change so much that perhaps that word/message is really resonating and having a huge effect. Could it be that Obama has set up Rupert Sheldrake’s morphic field , demanding change, coupled with us aligning with it?

Look out cause change is here.

If we all take Gandhi’s statement seriously, You be the change you want to see in the world, oddly enough we are quick to point at others first, telling them to change before we do.

It is hard to take a look at oneself when pointing a finger at another. What is this powerless human gun with no real bullet? We are so quick with the snap of our feeble wand to transform others.

If you look at your hand when pointing, you will see that three fingers are pointing right back at you.

While I do my best to take responsibility for the choices in my life, if find even my dreams are fraught with trying to get others to accept responsibility.

I woke this morning, laughing at my inability to “change” a dream.

I went back into the dream and tried to amend the outcome because I didn’t like the first one. I tried three different ways to communicate with this person, and I was disappointed in the result every time. Because in truth, I could not make her accept responsibility, I could not make her change, if all people in our dreams are aspects of ourselves, I was the only one who could change.

It was like trying to teach a child the ramifications of what happens if they light a match. I realized before I got out of bed , the child will learn that fire is dangerous when they get burned, but not until then. There are always consequences to events, and we all experience the ramifications at some point.

There is a re-alignment to right resonance that is happening.

It is my prediction that we will all be faced with our egos issues of entitlement, breaking rules, contracts, and promises, with devastating results. We don’t have to point the finger, the trigger by our actions, has already been pulled.

It is the resistance to the necessary re-alignment that will cause pain and hardship. No need to point fingers, but adapt to the change that is here.

Field of Dreams?

2009-04-30T21:19:00.000-07:00

This was sent to me today from a smart, Harvard educated, funny, amazing woman who used to be a client…

'To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did."

When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. Concentrate on this sentence... 'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

The point is well taken and it should be tattooed to the inside of my eyelids.

I was forced to the battlefield where the American, cliché, and deeply painful drama of my husband leaving me for a greener pasture, was raging. I had to find the Grace of God.

After a number of terrible weeks, I have turned a corner. The more I read Eckhart Tolle’s “ A New Earth “ the more I recognized I am one lucky gal, mainly because I can "see" and I now have a choice to feel differently about my “story,” because I know my truth.

It’s odd what we tell ourselves, and then what we tell others. The truth lies someplace in between.

Witness’s to crimes all will see invariably something different. But if you are IN the crime, how you tell the story is really how you want others to perceive you. Reality shows like the First 48, are all based around the perpetrators sitting in a room and finding all sorts of ways to lie. It is the cunning detective, merging with the reality of the perpetrator who usually gets them to admit their crimes.

I have to watch how I tell my story so that I no longer am a victim of my circumstances. Casting aspersions on those who forced me to the battlefield wasn’t fair until I had the Pac Bell records of pursuits. When, where, why and how, is of no comfort.

One is frozen in hell until Culpability is embraced.

I can only distinguish my own role, and that is what helped me get out of the pain. I needed to see it all and feel it all.

Telling a “story “ to fabricate fact the way one wants to be perceived, just keeps pushing away the inevitable. Sooner or later the truth will bite you in the ass.

There is nothing courageous about your personal story if it is filled with falsehoods. Those who continue pretend will find their Karmic path riddled with the bones and carcasses of those who stood in their way of the script they are crafting. Any challenge to the story is met with a certain kind of death.

Sooner or later, there will be no one left to buy the “story” and one has to start over and move to greener pastures where the cows are fascinated by the tales of the drifter.

The will of God has taken me to a pasture where I did not want to go, perhaps with truth and the Grace of God to protect me, it could be a Field of Dreams.

Daily Doses of Divine Help

2009-04-26T19:53:00.000-07:00

In my day to day life I must trust Spirit.

Everything that I am going through has had a purpose, though I may not like what that is, I realize that my circumstances are actually the answers to my prayers.

Those answers are not always delivered on the wings of a dove, more like the heavy hand behind a sledge hammer.

Yet when I really look, I am exactly where I need to be, to move me through to answer my prayers.

I was thinking about all the amazing gifts I have been given by Spirit as I go through my divorce.

Daily doses of divine help.

This midlife call to action and release, is, an answer to my prayer.

I prayed to do my work and share it with many, be free to live, love and learn to the greatest of my abilities, and to be supported by those that honor love and cherish me.

Spirit in its infinite wisdom would not let me be distracted any longer.

As I sat down to express this tonight, I immediately heard an old song that really does speak to my daily duties.

Paul Francis Websters song “ I’ll Walk With God”

I'll walk with God from this day on.His helping hand I'll lean upon.This is my prayer, my humble plea, May the Lord be ever with me.

There is no death, tho' eyes grow dim.There is no fear when I'm near to Him.I'll lean on Him forever,And He'll forsake me never.

He will not fail me,As long as my faith is strong,Whatever road I may walk along.

I'll walk with God, I'll take His hand.I'll talk with God, He'll understand.I'll pray to Him, each day to Him,And He'll hear the words that I say.

His hand will guide my throne and rod...And I'll never walk alone..While I walk with God.

May we all have the strength to see our daily doses of divine help.

Our Shadows Lurk

2009-04-26T19:29:00.001-07:00

Peter Pan never wanted to grow up. He wanted to live in his imagination in a place called Neverland.

I never really understood the role of Peters shadow until I realized without light, there was no shadow to be seen. I also didnt understand that though Peter was a boy, he was always played on stage or TV by a woman, ie, Mary Martin, Cathy Rigby.

Perhaps, it was too on the nose to cast a boy in the role of Peter, or it was to strange to have a boy in those tights, or it was perfect as both sexes have problems with growing up.
I recently had dinner with a sweet woman who wanted to know what I thought of "the dark force". Oddly I thought of Peter.

There lurks within us all the light and dark natures of being human, when we get closer to the light, perhaps it brings out the shadow behind us , this shadow becomes our best friend, or foe as it haunts us, and perhaps threatens to "take us over', and if we were consumed by the dark we would be looking for that light to find our way home.

The boy Peter Pan who longed for adventure was nothing without his shadow, and when he lost it , he felt like he lost one of the greatest parts of himself.

A lost boy who needed Wendy a mother figure , and Tinkerbell his muse, to light his way. Younger , smarter versions of his image of self. The shadow lurked, needing to live on the heels of a boy who never wanted to grow up. As time marches on and the boy gets older he susses his options.

We all have moments when we can look to the light to shine our way, or fall into the shadows as Peter did, blaming others for our predicaments.

In the midlife crisis of a man/woman not being what he wanted to be, life not going the way he has felt entitled to; the boy is faced the the threat of being kicked out of his imagination, his world of make believe.

Some need to have children of their own, living their legacy out in the face of a child…or absorb into a younger version of themselves, a blank state where all the problems of the past can disappear. The point is the screaming inner child is the shadow of what is truly lurking. The boy is terrified to leave Neverland and really never does by virtue of keeping links to the lustrous past of a once exciting life.

It is the vitality of the young that feed the image of the old. Why not make peace with the dark and the light, knowing that it is always there in the duality of life?

Yet the youthful expression of life sometimes has to be remembered by the awkward fumblings in the back seat of a car, a weekend tryst, the taboo of being unfaithful, or reconnecting with memories that bring us back to life, but the elixir of life is not what reminds us of our shadow, it is the light that is ultimately shed on us.

Here Goes

2009-04-17T07:47:00.000-07:00

I am ..On the edge… Uncomfortable.. Waiting… Trusting that I will not die when I jump.. Having faith that I will not hit the rocks ... Remembering that I can heal..My skin paper thin.. I write the book ...I tell the stories ...I share with you ...Noting else to do..

... but dive into my new life

Whats In There?

2009-04-14T00:15:00.000-07:00

When I wrote “”food in the Ice Box” on March 10, 2009, I had to reach out to others. They nourished and fed my heart and soul, not to mention my gut.

Now I am forced to see what’s in my own fridge.

Funny, I never noticed the light that emanates from within my Kennmore side by side .... until now.

Peering into my life to see what I can “cookup" or swallow....

Well it’s pretty empty.

That could be a great thing.

The 15 pounds I have lost will be terrific, if at 50, will I have the nerve to wear a bikini this summer?

The fact it is empty, means I am saving a s*** load of money because I am no longer buying for two.

My co –dependant nature of caring-like-a good-wife is an archetype that is on vacation, maybe never to return, except for the reminders of half full cans of nummies for my cat.

The most significant thing about it being empty, is that I can fill with what ever I like, the greatest of nutrition. The best,the most delicious or bland, exotic or take out, ….its up to me.

Different for every day, for as long as I have this fridge, which may not be too long,…

there are plenty more Ice boxes for me to peer into.

What ever in in there will be fresh, healthy, interesting, and probably crunchy.

My Real Life

2009-04-07T21:40:00.000-07:00

A dear friend sent me a little photo to cheer me up while I am splitting up.

Divorce is the act of surviving…

.....an earthquake; but your house doesn’t,

....the stock market crash; money you invested disappears,

....attempted murder because you heart still bleeds and aches like a Mother f***er from where it was stabbed,

....death, but everyone is still living,

.....robbery, someone came in and stole your life,

....perjury , the oath you took for love is now a lie,

...purgatory, that extremely unpleasant place you want to crawl out of

and ....alien invasion ,cause the pod people came in and took over your husband.

This is real life in the millennium midlife unless you are a 50’s mom waiting for the man to come home.

I learned from the best. She looked just like this lady.
By the time I was born, she switched to slacks, and didn’t want all the jewelry. She no longer painted her nails, and rarely ever smiled waiting for the man to come home and occupy the lazy boy.

She liked imaginary men best of all.

I was lucky, I had ten years of real love, support, fun, laughter, tenderness, and challenges.
I rose to the occasion for all of it, the thought that it would last forever might have been the imaginary part.

I too waited for the chair to be full.

Well, I no longer have to wait, and that is such a relief.

I think I will sit down and put my feet up and live my real life.

A Pattern of Legacy

2009-04-04T22:28:00.000-07:00

Do you think the dog wants to wear the tutu?

I see how emotional, familial patterns are put on us. It is as though we are just paper dolls waiting for the next set of clothes to be dressed up in.

A legacy waiting to live.

As a psychic medium I have witnessed some interesting things of how the dead can affect the living.

Some want to leave behind their greatest strengths, and they will pass through one of their living family members to actually leave behind a great gift. Some can energetically support a family member, by infusing them with wonderful attributes.

There is an amazing moment in the movie Poltergeist, where the Mom, played by JoBeth Williams feels her daughters spirit move through her, and she can smell her essence in her sweater?Though the child for the sake of the movie premise did not die, she was in a form that the mother could not identify. For me it was one of the most moving moments of mother daughter connecting depicted on film.

Then there are others who die that have a strong sense of pathology in their vibrational field and they look for the weakest, the most desperate of family members to imbue their legacy.

The child who has the most need is looking for an energetic familiar support system and if they have not built enough of their own strength of character in themselves, they will adopt something familiar.

Since the dead are with us, and often times not happy being dead,

Their legacies’s can drift around for a few years until the deceased can effect one of their family members, insuring that their pathology lives on. Strange isn't it?

However, we do have a choice...

You can agree to take the good and let the rest go, but unless there is that strength of character, one will be looking to take on the legacy of another because they do not know who they are.

Like paper dolls waiting to be dressed.

The courage it takes to become real, and no longer a two dimensional character sometimes takes a life time.

Putting on your own clothes is freedom.

In the Metamorphosis

2009-03-28T22:56:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes you have to feel everything Marla."

We want the very best for you” “Maybe this was not the best,…..right...”

“Trust us.”

The first words I could hear when I could hear past my own crys, the first words of clarity that Spirit revealed.

I am in a relationship with loss now.

How I will be with this loss will determine my life. I see now that I was slowly loosing things and yet I turned my head and shifted focus to avoid the loss.

Every day a little death.... It is here now and sits on my bed waiting for me to wake.

I see that my own awareness skirted to places that dimmed me, distracted my light , and I too could find ways to numb consciousness. That's what we all try to do, because pain from loss is excruciating.

It is not the pain from a wound. Years of cuts and bruises teach us that things heal, but pain from loss is knowing what you had and then it is gone.

It is bitter kind of death, it is human, it is hard.

Death is the door though which we enter the world of loss.

Death can touch life in many forms. My work is about transcending death, making peace with it, and listening to the love that continues for others. Death happens every day. We abhor it, do everything we can to fend it of, but everyday we are all touched by various forms of death.

How we deal with the loss is how we will live more life.

You must go through the metamorphosis.

You must feel everything Marla..... and that is what I do now.

There is no getting away from the pain.

Death, it is a painful process that is necessary for something different.

Psychic Gals Gone Wild

2009-02-04T21:06:00.000-08:00

Laughing with other women psychics who got the same “hit” as I did on a crime, a case, a big public question, can be one of the oddest yet most bonding of gal pal experiences.

I live in the same town as the psychic twins Linda and Terry Jameson. They are beautiful, really funny and very talented.

We met at a pool party and between a couple of Margaritas, we found we had a few things in common. We were all three raised in Pennsylvania had lots of health maladies as children and were very artistic, not to mention... psychic.

A month ago I ran into them at the local VONS grocery store parking lot…The conversation went like this…”did you know, ..? YES... oh did you see??? Right, Yes ,and did you get he was goin to jail ? Yes!... and did you know…OF COURSE I knew…you knew that? …duh!”

The three of us answering each others questions before the question was answered…and then one of them, (sorry still can't tell them apart), one said , “you changed the spelling of your last name”….she was right, I did about 25 years ago…

We laughed and laughed.

But we became more serious when I mentioned one of the cases we all worked on. The missing person case of Olivia Newton Johns former boyfriend. He was also the former husband, and father of a child with an actress who sought my help when he first went missing three years ago. I told her back then that he was alive and living in Mexico…

We mused about that in the parking lot of VONS, remembering that three years ago we all three said he’s in Guadalajara, we did giggle at the fact we all three said it at the same time.

However, no ones has been knocking on our doors about that case...

…Spirit has a time frame when people like that need to be found.

Spirit has a time frame that is not ours.

Double, double toil and trouble… I cant wait to run into them again!

The Walk of Good Will

2009-01-26T18:21:00.000-08:00

This is the nave in the Temple of Good Will, in Brasilia Brazil. This area is the bottom part of a large pyramid. Its modern feel and transformational vibration I liken to the transporter room of a Galaxy class starship where teams are dispatched for important missions.

I visited this in 1996 and have been relentlessly thinking about it for months. I recently was at a gathering of people interested in the various healing centers around the world, and the conversation of Brazil came up. The woman who I was talking to was leaving the very next day to visit this place. I thought it interesting enough of a meeting to share this with all of you.

The Brazilians say that Temple of Good Will is the greatest symbol of Universal Love, of the exaltation of Life and of Unrestricted Ecumenism. Its doors have never closed since its inauguration, remaining open 24 hours a day. Apparently is the most visited of the Brazilian capital, receiving over a million pilgrims per year.

At the top of the pyramid rests the largest pure crystal rock in the world. The crystal symbolizes, in Unrestricted Ecumenism, the unifying presence of God. According to scholars, it purifies the environment by catalyzing energies that fall upon those who enter the place.

This is a picture of the Nave. Its floor was built in granite and drawn in a spiral.

Upon entering the Temple the visitor follows the darkened pathway that winds anti-clockwise, representing Mankind’s difficult journey in search of a point of equilibrium. In the center of the pyramid, exactly beneath the crystal, a round bronze plaque symbolizes the discovery of Light and the beginning of a new journey. The clear colored path however, going clockwise, represents the path illuminated by moral and spiritual values acquired by the Human Beings’ own effort, finishing at the Throne and Altar of God, from whom one receives blessings.

I found my experience to be one of deep emotional connection to the many who choose to walk on the path and in interesting symbol of the yin and the yang, the dark and the light, side by side, in harmony.

The Face of Change?

2009-01-07T20:08:00.000-08:00

I sat with a woman who had this picture in her personal journal. She saw the same photo on my book shelf, so we discussed its resonance and why it is important to us.

She was distressed. In her work with children, she sees many family atrocities and cries about the pain and frustration that is part of all humanity. She wants to make a difference. She wants to change things. I went to bed thinking that she shares all our concerns.

I woke with the idea that perhaps, this is the face of change.

History shows us that people resist change. Anything out of normal existence in the physical world was feared or denied, causing great strife for those trying to teach higher truths. People have always wanted change, centuries of prophecies and visions passed as people yearned for something different, something to save them.

Enter The Christ. Whether you believe he is the son of God or not, he was a teacher who came as a role model for a different kind of behavior. Contrary to the warring first half of the Bible, Jesus came to show another way. Did God just decide, “ gee, I’ve been throwing around a lot of fear, dominion, rules and annihilation in the first half of my book, maybe I better send a peace maker to give hope to all mankind for the second half, ...warm things up a bit."

People were not so receptive to that. Hundreds of male children were killed out of the threat of such change, not to mention the slaughter over memorializing Jesus in the form of Christianity. Is this what Jesus had in mind?

Sounds like man, once again, has stuck his greedy little hand in the pot, stirred it and said ,”My what good boy am I”, as he still tries to control the masses with fear and archaic belief systems.

The marketing of Jesus seems like a constant bad crop rotation of reaping what is sown.

In my humble opinion he came to reflect mans greatest divinity, that we too are connected to the fathergodthesource, and though Christ and his teaching we might recognize this, but once we understand this, you think he wants us to create more separation by preaching that we are right and others are wrong, then cut them out of our lives, deny them love, and threaten them with the cruelest of punishments?

I doubt seriously that Jesus wanted to be split into factions of card- caring- club- members that exclude others and threaten the burning fires of hell for not knowing him.

Didn't he hang with the derelicts, the ill, the oppressed and the troubled? Was he not loving and kind toward those less fortunate? Who was it that started interpreting him to exclude those who did not agree or believe in him?

These restrictive belief systems make Jesus look like a snob. I say fire his PR person.
If he came back today, which “religion” would he join?

You think he’d shun the Jews, his own people, because they never got him?
Would he prefer the cute little Methodist church around the corner, the opulent Mormon temple, the gold studded cathedrals of the Catholic church, or would he be with one of the churches who abhor the gays and use his name as an excuse to dominate, kill and revel in club Jesus?

How do we heal or bridge such skewed beliefs and break this cycle of miss-interpretation and seperation? What is going to make a difference that promotes love and not fear?

What will be the face of change?

Spark of Genius

2009-01-06T17:22:00.000-08:00

How Shocking it must have been to be picked up, agonizing pain surging through your body, face pressed against the ceiling, then thrown to the floor, smoldering and dead.

Such was the end of a phone call on September 17, 1975 for Dannion Brinkley. His story etched in Saved by the Light and Secrets of the Light are tangible reminders of the power and grace of God in the finger of a lightening bolt.

Hopefully we don’t have to have strange acts of nature to bring us to our knees and change the path that we are walking, but in Dannion’s case it turned his life of being a son’of a bitch, into a spokesperson for heaven.

In his indoctrination on the other side Dannion learned that part of the reason many people were not living in love and harmony was the direct result of too much stress. In his book Secrets of the light Dannion says that the beings on the other side told him that stress carries a heavy energy that attracts negativity and fear, In turn, this slows down our chakras, drains our spirit, and disconnects from our divinity.

By relieving the stress in our daily routines more light would be allowed to filter through our lives, making us all healthier, happier beings.

I think his books are terrific bedside table materials to remind us that darkness will be pierced by light eventually.

I opt for recognizing that if it gets a little too dark in my world, I can turn on a light,…. myself.

Energetics of 08'

2008-12-31T16:07:00.000-08:00

I hope this blog has been helpful to those of you who have taken the time to read it.

I've been inspired by all of you who have emailed me this year.

I had many thoughts on Change, as did the whole country.

When I look back over my 08’ I realize the catalyst for breaking open change in me was
the Matrix Energetics training.

I did it in February and by the end of November, I had a new direction, better health, deeper understanding and pure appreciation. I asked for this, but, I never thought two words I barely ever used (quantum and physics) could be so transformational.

The essence of the year became a prisim of love and light.

Color has a vibration that is completely enticing.

Love is a frequency that is fulfilling.

May you have the most colorful, fulfilling and exciting new year.

Thank you,

Marla

ps....I have to acknowledge Max too, my organic computer!

In Truth We Stand, in Lies We Fall

2008-12-28T10:26:00.000-08:00

The frailty of our economy, those in charge of our money, the ones we have relied on, who said they would help others, the biggest financial institutions; a house of cards.
Where did they get the idea that this was OK?

I have determined from the template of my own family that this is where it all starts.

If we look at the compromise in this house of cards, it starts in the fundamental structure of the family.

The first basic human need is security or safety. Trauma and victimization undermines that basic need. A traumatic experience, emotional and or physical, frustrates the needs for security and lead people to feel the world is dangerous. I'll get you before you get me.

Our inner cities cry with the blood shed of fatherless males trying to survive. The inability of people to resolve emotional conflict within the home is the result of more than half of homicides. There is the other part of unhealed trauma, the need to escape through drugs or alcohol.

Heads of corporations, heads of state, governors, senators, presidents, all acting out their childhood wounding. Are they better than the drug dealer whose marketing skills are not as honed? Has capitalism created a world of spoiled narcissists, or are the wars, low self esteem and lack of emotional security to blame? ....probably all.

Trauma of the emotional and physical nature upsets positive identity. People feel diminished worthless, otherwise why would such terrible things have happened to them?
Trauma undermines feeling connected to people and it skews a person’s reality. Look at any fundamentalist leaders. They create their own reality, a house of cards so to speak.

A narcissist has to make their world a certain way and if that world is threatened then those who challenge the narcissist risk annihilation.

How hard one fights to erase or color the truth will only perpetuate the inevitable, and haven’t we seen that up close in our own lives, not to mention with how things are crumbling around us?

Like scavengers trying to salvage something valuable from a wreck? Ill get mine before the house tumbles.

The truth is, the house already fell a long time ago. That is where we have to start ... looking at the truth. The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.

In truth we stand, in lies we fall.

Ask and Ye Shall Recieve

2008-12-27T20:01:00.000-08:00

I had a dream.

I was in a well appointed, yet old hotel.

Instead of asking for fresh towels, I asked to meet my guardian angel.

Odd, because I feel I have so many, and didn't really need to take a meet and greet.

The man at the desk handed me a key and said,

" you will know her when you go into your room and open the blue bag."

I walked down the familiar red carpeted hall to the elevator and without a blink I was in front of my room door, I inserted the key.

My phone rang and I woke.

I spent the day wondering why that dream would come.

My husband, Jeff encouraged me to clean my office and make it the perfect space for me to continue to write my book, so we got out the vacuum, green magic and went to town on my space.

I reached over the sofa and saw a blue gift bag. I had forgotten it was there, a remnant of a time this year when I was putting photos away and didn't manage to put things in the right place.

There she was, the Angel I named Gloria. A Christmas card from a set I bought during a year that was filled with great difficulties.

I opened the card and it said Peace on Earth.

I turned the card over and read Guardian Angel, by Steven Mackey.

Zen Intent

2008-12-27T13:25:00.000-08:00

Zen in the Art of Archery is thus infused with comments about aspiring not to hit the target, but rather struggling to attain an egoless state in accordance with the "Great Doctrine" (Herrigel 1985: 78-79).

The idea of taking action by picking up a bow and arrow, focusing on a target and with intent shooting the arrow, could be applied to all of the actions we take.
What moved you, and propelled you to take certain actions?

Seeing it from a Zen perspective is interesting.

Were we forced by outside circumstances to yield, or pushed by some internal fear? Mongol forces of life set to destroy us?
What ever the motivation, we all took actions. It might be interesting to see how we accomplished things.

I have found that we move mountains when we actually share with others what we intend to do. Perhaps it is the invisible support of the universe, or the human fear of shameful repercussions we might need on some level to be held accountable. It is compelling to think of freeing the action and trusting it to be. I guess that is what I do all the time as a psychic medium. I have to trust and freely allow to show up what will.

Many of us set out with great intention and did not have the resolution we "wanted", but there might be merit to things not working out the way we want. Our efforts may be more than just something personal, perhaps the trajectory of what we intend has a greater purpose.

The idea that the arrow is not intentionally "let go" by an archer, but rather naturally "gets free" reflects an understanding that the aim is to reach a level where it is not "I" that shoots, but simply ‘"It" shoots’.

What will get set free this next year?

Holiday Voyeurism

2008-12-21T21:07:00.000-08:00

The recent cold snap in Los Angeles has uncovered a few bundled Christmas memories; easily forgotten with many years of 70 degree weather.

Stuffed into a Sears and Roebuck snow suit, I gaily climbed in for our nighttime Christmas lights car ride. First through town, with wreaths strung high, steeples aglow and Jesus framed in neon, then past the truck stop where scattered farm houses covered in blue snow beckoned me with glowing amber living rooms and the quick smear of colored lights on a Christmas tree.

Families settled in, stringing popcorn, paying bills, watching wheel of fortune.

I carried my seasonal voyeurism to Milwaukee, where wool and fur muffled carols and bitter wind denied normal sight. I braved walking home in old seal skin coats I sewed up with dental floss, air tight, and just like new. Bus rides noisy and too bright to enjoy looking into the lives of others.

Chicago where I huddled against the brittle plastic window of an L Train wondering what was being cooked in the much to close to the train track kitchen of a three story walk up. Who was home for dinner; were they happy and did they speak of love as they cleared the table?

Cleveland covered with treacherous pot holes and broken streets under deceptive blankets of snow. No time to look into anyone’s windows as I steered to defend my life, my first car, on guard until I was in the safety of the rotunda where I worked.

New York at Christmas was a maize of steps, dragging body and bags up and down to trains with no views, until I could rest on the slushy streets of Brooklyn Heights. A coat on sale at Macy's rivaled my old seal skins; my defiance of winter.

The brownstones bore no spirit, so I chose the bustle and the smiles of the Garden of Eden grocery store to soften my face and commune.

The blue snow of the farmland memories still touch my soul, but I am in my home now and I have found other ways to keep warm on the longest night the year. I still drive to see the lights, but I need not look into the lives of others, unless I am invited.

In the World of Karma

2008-12-07T15:50:00.000-08:00

He pleaded his case- the wedding ring of his murdered wife he wished had gone to his daughter, snapshots of what gave his life meaning to his son. These things that were HIS. “My things, I had every right to take back," he said.

He didn’t mean to hurt anyone, he was sorry.

In the desert town of “ya win some ya lose some,” his number was finally up. His gun tootin, unmasked posse just trying to retrieve his belongings, heard their sentence.

Had the judge allowed him more air time, we might have heard more about his sorrow. What he was really sorry about we didn’t hear.

This icon of self-aggrandizement, a world unto his own he made, ruled, and when questioned, could not bear the loss of his identity, so he cut them down in the walkway of a condo.

I thought I might feel jubilant, having worked on the case 13 years ago. My target, the killer of Ron Goldman and Nicole Simpson. My subconscious led me to pinpoint on a map Rockingham. I was simply saddened by all the loss; no luster in prosecuting the perpetrator.

What could be the lesson in this loss?

I believe Nicole and Ron were sacrificial lambs to raise the consciousness about domestic violence. The disaster of his first trial cast light on every crime lab in collecting and preserving evidence. Mistakes of that public magnitude would never again be tolerated and the illusion that Orenthal James Simpson might come by for dinner, disappeared in the female African-American community.

Had the chickens come home to roost in Vegas or was this the projected path of a narcissist?

The day he was sentenced, I was tormented about another case I was working on, when a book high on my shelf fell and snapped me out of my thoughts. A Course in Miracles opened to lesson 46 : God is the Love in which I Forgive.

It was the clap of a book to the floor that reminded me, only God knows the statue of limitations in the world of Karma.

Gobble Gobble

2008-11-22T20:01:00.000-08:00

The recent unconscionable news coverage of Sarah Palin in front of a contraption that decapitates turkeys was just too much for me as an entree to this Thanksgiving holiday.

That thoughtless image reminded me of my own bucolic background and the combination of horror and metaphor made me laugh uncontrollably, striking the tickle bone of embarrassment because of the strange and morally reprehensible disconnect to life. My inappropriate chuckles conjured more memories.

The killing of the dinner was part of my childhood, as you can see from this 1980 photo of my father Harold J. Fries proudly displaying our up coming repast. My dad loved to bring dead things home, de-feather, skin and hand them over to my mother who was talented in cookin em up.

She'd make quite a turkey day spread, orange zest cranberries with walnuts, corn pudding a southern delight for everyone but me, perfectly whipped potatoes, stove top stuffing, doctored up and a succulent bird.

It was a great excuse for my dad to have wine, wear his light blue cashmere sweater and be emotional. He never minded leaving the football game to come to the table savoring the meal silently with a few nods and slurps, a custom acknowledgment of my mothers fine efforts.

I can understand how Sarah might be just numb to the entrapping of entrails in her life, never thinking it could ruin another person’s day if seen on TV. Her interview with Greta Van Susteren on Fox TV showed a stuffed grizzly bear in the background, forewarning, that, is the Alaska way. Inspiring more stories from my own home state.

The Thanksgiving I had my tonsils removed, I received obligatory cards from all my 4th grade classmates. “I’m a turkee I taste good, I tastes better than you ever wood”… " Roses are red , violets are blue, its time to wake up for its Tanksgiving day”…and one that now seems like the essence of Truman Capote's “In Cold Blood” a picture of a dark stick character with a gun shooting a turkey, “come back soon, or I’ll shoot you and sell you to the blacks” by M Conner, warm Pensilvania greetings. I still wonder if the disturbed M. Conner ever ended up in some jail.

Another Thanksgiving my dad and I went down to our farm to check the horses. It was bitter and rainy, just on the verge of snowing. We knew mother’s dinner was urging us home, when we came across a car stranded on the side of the road. A cold and hungry family miles from their intended destination had run out of gas. My father ran to our farm gas pump and gave them as much as their tank could hold. The man tried to pay my dad and of course my father refused, the man asked if he could give me a dollar instead. Simple gestures of Thanksgiving; sharing gifts of kindness. I loved that day.

Its the simple gestures,whether turkey or tofu, may your holiday be filled with love, gratefulness and of course, a few good laughs.

All the World's a Stage

2008-11-22T18:19:00.000-08:00

“Alas poor Yorick , I knew him”….William Shakespeare

Hamlet said, gazing into the skull of his dead friend, so depressed from all his loss and troubles. If someone had told Hamlet, forgive, move on, be creative with your loss, and go talk to a medium to clean up your dead relatives issue, there might not be a play.

There are some things we must put to rest. Things become tired, worn out, the tenure is up, the expiration date is over,it's time to retire, and close the play.
What makes it so hard to give things up?

I recently had a client, whose father left after he was born and whose mother never gave him enough; emotionally or figuratively. At 50, he has a job he was successful in, but no longer is happy with, belongings he has no need for, ways of being in the world that no longer work for him, eating habits that are compromising his life, and when I asked him why he still hangs on, he said, “they are my security blanket, they are things that make me feel safe or remind me of my illustrious past”. The stage set for another act.
If we want to grow, move ahead, and be more of who were are called to be, we need to let the blanket go.

So I must walk my talk.

For me, acting, was a creative way to survive my young adult hood, exciting, fun, difficult, and permission to be someone other than me. Now like a worn out blanket it no longer serves me. If your heart is not there, neither will your spirit be. Strange, to have kept holding a space for something to come, when in fact, that space kept me from embracing the things that were right in front of me. The 30 year run of my professional acting life has closed.

Now, if I am on stage, it will be helping Hamlet, Harold or Hanna talk to the ghosts of their relatives, clearing up those difficult familial issues. And if I hold in my hand or talk to a skull, it will be in the field of homicide assisting detectives in their investigations, or with Max my crystal friend.

Here choose I. Joy be the consequence….William Shakespeare

Taking Flight

2008-11-13T21:58:00.000-08:00

What are the natural instincts that tell a bird it is ready to fly?

Do they fear their debut?

What kind of birds are we, awkward, tentative, or embolden as we drop right out of our nest?

Do we fly because we must?

We all have opportunities for firsts, but we like our nests.

The place we are familiar and settled.

Who knew you could talk to the dead, produce a TV show, write a book,

and break oak boards with the soles of your feet.

You didn’t, until you left the place you knew.

There is plenty of wind out there, waiting for us to take flight.

The Heart of America is Purple

2008-11-05T08:40:00.000-08:00

YES the heart of America has spoken, and it is purple; it is an exciting time in America. The color Purple is now what we see, no more Red or Blue states. This is the time of change.

Barack’s journey was certainly supported by numerous people, but it was Barack who had to step into this and make it happen. If Barack who was fatherless, raised by white grandparents can take his life and move it to an astonishing victory, then what does it tell us about what is possible?

What does this victory really mean? He is a representation of what can happen when people choose change. It didn't take much for people to walk to the voting booths and identify who they wanted to win. However it does take commitment, effort, and hard work to changing anything.
What happens now that is most important.

Are we willing to put into practice what we preach? Can we personally implement Change?

We can’t expect our leaders to make big differences for us. That could be a dangerous concession. Barack is an example; if he is a man of his word then he will stand by that and is time for us to do the same thing.

The Purple Heart symbolizes the deep struggle and wounding that one has suffered in battle.

America has chosen a symbol in Barack to remind us that there is life, and a powerful one, after such hardship.

No more excuses, no more oppression, no more fear, of what is not possible.

This is a call to change in the depths of our souls.

What are "we"....yes, you and me going to change?

Beware of Poppies

2008-10-25T14:22:00.000-07:00

The gleeful chorus of the Emerald city dwellers....

YOU'RE OUT OF THE WOODS YOU'RE OUT OF THE DARK YOU'RE OUT OF THE NIGHT...STEP INTO THE SUN STEP INTO THE LIGHT....

As Dorthy and her team were on their way to see the wizard and were within reach of their quest.... they ran into a field of poppies.

A lovely distraction, a beautiful serene burst of nature. They were lulled into a deep sleep..and out of the ether's came a snow shower to wake them up. A dusting of ice to calm the affects of the hypnotic poppy.

They were willing to fight the good fight, face their fears and the danger, no matter the out come they took a journey. Their psychic spirit called upon the good witch to help them . They got up, dusted themselves off, made it to Oz, and fought to be seen.

Dorthy and her pals never felt they had what they needed when they met the little man behind the curtain. However, they found they already had inside of themselves, what they needed.

They had to look within, take personal responsibility and then and only then could they go home.

The tall poppy syndrome is when a poppy gets taller than the others , it is cut down to be uniform to the others. Dorthy stood tall and she found her way home.

Are we moving out of the dark into the light, or are we being lulled into the hypnotic mass of the poppies ?

The Invisible Made Visible

2008-10-14T19:28:00.000-07:00

In the dark recesses of our lives, we all have secrets, things none of us want other people to know.

How much importance we put on these secrets means they either are just passing thoughts or they run our lives. There is an epidemic going on in our world right now. Things that people are hiding are now being revealed.

There is hypocrisy that is now being exposed in our financial, housing, judicial, and political markets. People are screaming for justice, and for some of us that justice is just below the surface of the skin.

What is not dealt with always comes up sooner or later, we must find the justice inside ourselves. Some people are wearing what they have denied, something that is literally eating away at them. What is invisible is being made visible. It will not be stopped because ones soul will not allow it. The nature of ones truth is not to be shackled or imprisoned by the past.

Some people have a ticking bomb inside their bodies thick plaque or a fragile artery. Those people don’t get to be warned before it’s too late. Some have manifested such pain in side the cells of their body that the cell actually becomes ill.

There are others that are fortunate in that their bodies are telling them every day that they are not only in trouble medically, they have emotional problems that have not been resolved. We all can see the pain.

No one of consciousness wants wants to say.”You know I can see the many years of secrets, abuse, criticism, shame and abandonment that happened to you by virtue of your inability to carry up the stairs the excess weight you have. How can I help relieve you from your burden?” But as we see their pain , our hearts can feel the misery of their hearts too.

How do we get to the point of deciding to change when we realize we have such burdens that were built from pain?

This is what I have pondered this last week. I have had a number of conversations with women and men who are struggling with excess weight. I think that our lives are a fractal of what is going on out there in the world. We literally have to address what has become obvious, before one gets so sick that they become diabetic, have a stroke or heart attack.

The heart stops working right , because it wasn't working right.

Spirit will give you an opportunity to think about your pain, and hopefully you will find the love you so easily give others, must be bypassed to YOU.

There is truth to the idea that God taps you first, then nudges, you, then slaps you and if you really don’t feel what is going on, he will hit you over the head with a brick. Let’s make sure that does not happen.

Your invisible thoughts, and secret actions when filled with love for you, will begin to radiate your truth instead of your pain. Then the burden you carry … will become less.

Responsibility...

2008-10-01T09:05:00.000-07:00

.... the state or position of being accountable to somebody or for something, the blame for something that has happened, authority to act to make decisions independently …..a duty.

I woke with a dream after the first debates. I was struck with the word “responsibility”.

This word inside my head played itself out in various scenarios. Starting first with the obvious , others not taking responsibility. There is so much frustration and the anger all over the world. Now it is in our back yard in a way we can't ignore. So how do we change all of this?

I watched a scene from the TV show Mad Men and was mesmerized with the immense selfishness and entitlement we all possess. Don takes his family to a park for a picnic just after he has bought the new car. He’s concerned about his car getting dirty on the inside from his kids. In preparation to leave the park, the camera man pulls back to a wide shot of the family picking up the blankets and shaking them out. They conveniently leave behind all the trash. Chinett napkins and Dixi cups scatter in the wind. That action and the obliviousness of the whole family to not seeing their mess and taking responsibility to pick it up, spoke volumes to the emotional life of not just the family but the era. The unconscious mental murmur of somebody else will clean up my mess.

It’s like the image I have stuck in my head of GW Bush on Letterman during his first run for the Presidency. The show was going to commercial and instead of moving right way, the camera lingered on Bush. A page, sent to reset Dave’s desk passes in front of Bush. GW Bush unabashedly reached up, grabbed the edge of her sweater and cleaned his glasses with it.

We are going to see things in the next few months that no one will have predicted , not even a good psychic, but we can feel them already.

Unless I take full responsibility for me and what I do, then I can’t change anything. Clearly we see this with our elected officials and the news media but why not start at home. A personal act of responsibility would be to deal with your own garbage, clean up your own mess, and stop blaming others.

So I guess we do have the whole world in our hands.

Clearing the Path

2008-09-19T10:39:00.000-07:00

We are all on a path. Some of us have taken a circuitous route to where we are.

I turned 50 this week. I contemplated a big ole' bash to celebrate, but I am too much of a hostess to be able to enjoy my own parties, and many of my closest friends are out of town so I opted for another form of honoring my life.

In preparation for this milestone I decided to face things that have prevented me from feeling free, places in my life where there has been resistance or fear, obstacles that I created and tossed on my path to derail me.

Many of these issues are about being public.

Once one makes a declaration like that, there are going to be some profound breakdowns.

The first thing that showed up in my facing fears was being hired to shoot a TV show/documentary about the fringe conversation of UFO's and alien abduction/ contact. A subject that for many is just to crazy to contemplate, but for me it has been a dance of attraction and repulsion.Stepping up and really becoming a part of this "conversation" was dangerous to me.

I came out of this illuminated , and deeply compassionate to the participants who are experiencing this daunting topic . I found myself honored to be a conduit in this program and giving up the fear associated with being "connected" to this subject.

I had to face my resistance to writing "the book" the beginning to a series of material that has been gestating.
Framing how I got to this point in my life and to share this with the public has been something that is easy for me to resist. But my soul would not let me rest. So as I declared I would focus on this book, a famous author shows up on my path to assist me in the process. She will be my task master as I face this public voice.

I have been an actress for 30 years. I am still fortunate to work in a very uncertain industry, however I am called to share my gifts of "connecting " and being with the public in service doing the mediumship and psychic work.

The acting was a way I have handled surviving my life. Being someone else, for most of my life was much safer than being me.

I was given a talent for singing. However I resisted that gift, and found myself not pursuing musical work, even though I loved it, I was too terrified to audition for things. This is not uncommon for actors to not enjoy the audition process , but this was a huge place of resistance a place that I had not gone in 10 years, a place that the mere mention of singing in public would make me break out in a sweat.

So what shows up right before my 50th birthday was having my husband cast as the lead in a seriously difficult musical piece. I have always been fine with him going away to work but this time it bothered me, so he said " why not do the show with me". A clever solution, but not easily remedied.

The director then invited me to audition for the two of the lead female roles.

A terror like never before welled up inside of me. This was a moment that my soul had called forth to face. Something grabbed a hold of me and made me confront this horrible fear.
I took it on like my life depended on it. Four songs and four monologues I had to prepare in four days.

My husband Jeff, assisted me to prepare which was an added bonus of taking care of myself. It was joyous gift to work with him.

I became the driver of a huge emotional bulldozer in clearing this path . I refused to stop until I was prepared and in that audition hall. Singing my ass off, and having ....a ball.

I was for the first time in my whole life present to the daunting process that had terrorized me since I was cast as Cinderella in first grade.

I was completely satisfied. A vibrational exercise in musical expression and crafting emotion that my soul demanded. Getting cast would be nice, but I did my job, and I am happy with that.

So I celebrated walking on a path I had chosen to clear, symbolically captured in this photo that was taken by Jeff on my 50th, as we joyously walked to the cliffs above the ocean in Santa Barbara.

There is a part of all of us that stops us from being our best. We all have fears that keep us from flowing in right resonance. Strange obstacles we keep in our way of having extraordinary lives.

When we make a choice to face our fears, we not only get the opportunities to confront them, but we get help in clearing the path.

WARNING: Psychic FRAUD!

2008-09-01T20:59:00.000-07:00

Before you read this, know that I detest charlatans trolling for business and abhor the intrusive attempt to foster fear in people.

This story was just emailed to me:

"I was in Target today and this woman, Angelina, came up to me and said that she's a psychic and that she got a strong feeling that there were things she had to share with me, messages about my luck and other things (can't remember now exactly what they were) and she wouldn't have been able to sleep if she didn't tell me this. She gave me her card and invited me to contact her."

....These people are looking for your business, period.

....They use fear “knowing” things about you and pray on that fear to get you to call them.

....They, typically, will tell you that you have a curse on you.

.... and IF you do call, they will tell you that for just a few hundred dollars they can remove that curse, and restore your good karma.

Bull shit.

It is my experience, these fraudulent women who prey on unsuspecting shoppers in the aisles of malls and supermarkets are cons.

They rely on your fear to “lure” you into making an appointment to see them for a bogus reading.

IF, and I mean IF, a legitimate psychic gets a hit on you and feels that they HAVE to tell you something, the appropriate thing for them to do is ask you if you are at all interested in what they have to say. If they have an urgent message for you then they should offer the message for FREE.

Real psychics who have your best interest at heart and are in true service with their gift, would NEVER intrude with ominous premonitions.

If you are ever confronted in a shopping center by someone claiming to have psychic information for you, tell them, “Yes, I am psychic too, and I “see” you being arrested for harassment.”

To the MAX

2008-08-09T07:29:00.000-07:00

Where would I get the idea that sitting with a 18 pound piece of quartz crystal configured in the shape of a human skull with large, orthodontia perfected teeth would be fun??

I remember the first time I was mesmerized by touch. I was probably 5 years old in the company of my mother who took me to a local dress shop. I stood bedside a table and found a piece of fabric draped over the edge. I stayed there, transfixed by the feel of it. And so the exploration of touch started. In eating food, I had to feel it before I could eat it. I had to know where it came from. In meeting people, I had to touch them or their clothes before I could trust them.
I just had to touch things to "know," and that has developed over the years into an ability called psychometry, feeling an object to reveal information. Visions of places, feelings, thoughts and words flood into my head.

This ability has assisted me with clients and law enforcement for years. I know that the piezoelectric currents that run though crystal is something worth understanding and how certain minerals hold frequencies based on their chemical structure that can affect us as easy as taking a pill. Holding a rock can sometimes be just as satisfying as a well aged wine, without the calories. Silicon dioxide provides numerous applications for connecting information. So with that in mind, I wondered what Max, a crystal Skull handed down by a Tibetan red hat Lama to a woman in Texas could do for me.

I had interviewed for the web cast show Dreamland, the authors of “Mystery of the Crystal Skulls” and I kept being pulled to the story of Max, the new "Indiana Jones" movie paled in comparison to the folklore surrounding some of these skulls, so I set myself on “interviewing Max”.
I nervously laughed, thinking that I was actually hearing from this skull. If talking to dead folks isn’t strange enough, I believed I was hearing from Max, beckoning me for a clandestine tryst.

I thought I might have to take a trip to Texas where he lives with his keeper JoAnn Parks,but no, Max was too kind, he decided to come near me, and I started to get emails from friends of Max’s telling me and where to find him.

I was in my kitchen, cooking a nice turkey spaghetti sauce when I heard the way I do in my head, "Go to the computer and you will have a message from one of my friends telling you where I will be." And there it was, a lovely note from a woman saying Max will be in Santa Monica, a mere 25 miles from me. I made a date.

What does one wear for a date with a crystal skull…? I took my tape recorder, put on some lipstick, crystal pink for the occasion, and drove to my destiny.
Getting past his keeper was an exercise in having to listen to all the successes that a stage mother could muster, as she was just as proud of Max as any spelling bee or Olympic champion. JoAnn is the guardian, of Max a celebrity, healer, and .....Spiritual dignitary.
I was briefly amused at the gullibility of people feeling that some probably ‘hand carved’ piece of rock could have an effect on anyone.

One by one people came away from the room where Max held court, with doe eyed red faces. New age stupor, or were they really affected?
I took my tape recorder in. He was lit underneath, and was sitting on this beautiful embroidered fabric. I immediately felt relaxed.

What happened in the next 45 minutes was a combination of IMAX special effects, various vibrational changes throughout my body, information about me, politics, loved ones, acquaintances, work, animals, Egyptian deities, winged beings, powerful out of this world consultants, and UFOs. Max told me to put my forehead on his, and WHAM I was propelled on a journey that I almost resisted, but allowed to unfold, and I recorded the details.
He ended the session singing to me, and then instructed me to take his picture…humorously he loved my phone camera and after taking me around the world pointing out specific geographical references he said we were done, and, we were dear friends.

Nothing prepared me for that. I drove home to my books of geography and Egypt and found not only the names were recorded, but also the specific points of geographical interest I would never have known, unless Max pointed them out. His way of confirming that he knew what he was talking about.

I am still integrating the facinating information that Max shared with me. This experience shines the light on the idea that Max might be a powerful organic computer, ancient oracle, or perhaps my new pet rock. What ever he is, Max certainly has created a new awareness in my truly amazing life.

" Real " Change

2008-07-09T17:35:00.000-07:00

I have finally found a book that addresses the conversation of consciousness better than any I have ever read.

Yes, it became popular because of Oprah, and in this case I say ” thank God for Oprah”.

She has used her celebrity to address many of the topics that she is curious and passionate about, especially her profound endorsement of Obama.

There is much talk about “change” but before any of us can truly implement this new form of awareness in our nation, we must do it within ourselves. Otherwise we are just followers of a “nice idea”, and perhaps witnesses’ to a hollow victory, if we as Americans do not take responsibility for our own thoughts and actions.

This book is for anyone who is curious about transformation, personal awareness and consciousness. It has a resonance that will alter how you think about your pain, your fears and how you keep it all in place with your ego.

Let us find the courage to stand behind real "change "within ourselves first.

....Allergies

2008-06-28T22:59:00.000-07:00

Our bodies create barriers to invaders; sounds, food, pathogens, allergens.

How do we keep ourselves safe in life’s Petri dish?

What are these strong reactions in our bodies to the energy of a room, a person, an object, historical events, even places?

I think it is perfect to look at the things that our in our lives that we are “allergic” to.

Things that create upset in our systems that need to be identified and addressed.

Doctors can measure the amount of energy that a certain part of the body is resonating with; it can be read, and tracked, by medical equipment. They can prove that “our thoughts” have consequences in the body.

I have seen facilitators talk to a patients about their emotional problems. Just the mention of a patient’s current problem in a relationship can change levels of energy running though the body. The “chi” ( energy) will dramatically drop, plummet, disappear….and the “charge “ of energy in the body, will be drastically altered, just by the mention of a troubling situation.

Can it be that we are allergic to our thoughts?

Why this is not the first part of wellness to learn what upsets our body, find the true source of the irritation, and learn to eliminate it.

Sometimes we have to get really sick in order to see what makes us so ill, and many times we continue to be irritated, allergic, and suffer until we identify what is really the culprit.

Do you love yourself enough to figure this out?

...Information

2008-06-13T08:28:00.000-07:00

Hearing information from Spirit is why I do what I do.

It is "intuition perfection", to be given love from the deceased, or benevolent and important information from the universe.

It is the nature of my work that people want to talk to specific deceased people, to have particular questions answered. They want to “know” things but they also sense that they will be surprised.

My work has not been dissected to meet all scientific requirements to satisfy skeptics. It does not come with a manual, a road map. It is not like a recipe for a cake. I wish it was that simple.

I do try my best to prepare people. I explain how I work, what usually happens, and what TO EXPECT…none the less there are surprises. Imagine a loved one who passed , a fundamentalist, who belonged to a specific organized Christian sect, communicating with their living family members saying….

“ Hey EVERYONE is here, even the Catholics and Jews!” What a surprise!

It is a grab bag, filled with surprise.

You might not get exactly what you wanted, but, what's perfect is …what you get.. is exactly what you needed.

....Teachers

2008-06-12T22:05:00.000-07:00

Teachers come into our lives when we the students are ready, ...or not.

I was born to a family of teachers who didn’t like their roles, who were not ready for me. Who ever sent me through to them, must have thought I was ready…or not.

Teachers come in all forms; there is nothing more educational than a good set of germs or an injury to our body to teach us the merit of our health.

Teachers come because we need them.

The best teachers are the ones who mirror to us our greatest qualities, those who can see us, and take a “stand” for who we are, even when we don’t know who we are. Those teachers who can see our essence can change our lives forever.

I recently had the great pleasure to interview for the radio web cast show “Dreamland” one of my finest teachers.

Twenty-five years ago, when I was twenty five, I went to see my first psychic, Sonia Choquette. It was a turning point in my life to meet the mind and soul of the woman who put me on my path of intuition.

We were both so young, yet she was ancient in her wisdom and knowledge. Her abilities of psychic information were stunning, but it was how she mirrored the truth that was right under the surface of my skin, the true spirit within that was life altering.

After years of having my own gifts thwarted, denied and discouraged I was finally seen, set free, validated and empowered in who I was supposed be whether I was ready… or not.

It is perfect intuition to come full circle and acknowledge a teacher.

A Series on the Perfection of Intuition.....Nature

2008-05-23T19:16:00.000-07:00

Spirit has a way of making things happen that are simply perfect.

Not perfect to us when we are traversing the messiness of a situation or its feelings, but perfect that when we have a chance to look and “see” we find out that it was all perfect.

Recently my 10 year old cat, who fancies himself a Dandy, got into a bit of a scrap. This Dandy’s days are diminishing as his wound was on his hind flank so you know he was running away. The flank swelled with infection, and like a good mommy I took him to the hospital.

Meanwhile I am hunting for the perpetrator in the neighborhood who lashed out at my kid, the vagrant who bullied my tabby into a scrap. Get your kid vaccinated!...would be my rant, when I met up with them, but I had a tight schedule and doing meds and taking care of my kid, kept me just on a low simmer, never found the perps parents.

He came home with a soft collar like a little musketeer his saber lost in battle but happy oh so happy to be home.

The vet who did a lovely job of cutting along that Neapolitan color line of his skin, said, “Well, glad you got him in here,... when we went into clean out the the abscess there was a fatty deposit underneath , encapsulated from another injury and it was turning necrotic, you might not have recognized it until he was very sick”

What a strange blessing. In nature we wonder why a mother would kill a pup who was the runt, or stallion stomp out his sire. We are grateful for the bully who sent our boy to the hospital, he of course knew more than we.

The intuition to know when something is not right and make it known, even in nature, is perfection.

Truth and Consequences

2008-04-23T18:27:00.001-07:00

People often ask me, “Can you do this work for yourself, can you be psychic for YOU”

That is one of the most upsetting things about this work. I get discombobulated, and sometimes even mad that I was right about situations that come into my personal world. It’s so contrary to the typical confirmation that is revealed for others, specifics that make me good at what I do. I am still working on being gracious about the information given to ME.

My (former) husband says to me all the time” but you knew this was going to happen, why are you so upset?” These are my screaming moments when I am less than gracious about “knowing”. It is the child still in me who had to intuit things in my home that were not so pleasant, wishing things were better. As an adult I must grow up and face the clairvoyance of my own situations, and accept the gift, even if it is not what I want to hear.

Spirit in its infinite wisdom is very kind. “They” give me fair warnings, and then push me as a reminder, if I have not heeded the warnings, I will get hit upside the head, with the truth.
In the nature of my business it is not uncommon for associates to want to “test” my skills and psychic prowess; a not so unconscious competitiveness. But I was not raised a serious athlete I was a baton twirler. My competitive skills limited to marching and tossing. I was always the kid who handed over the ball, and said “you win”.

You want to be smarter, you want to think you know more, ok fine, you win, now can we get back to taking care of business?

I continue to think and believe that people will admit their fears and insecurities. But really, how many people want to do that?

My husband has gotten into some pretty tricky business dilemmas, now did I “see” that there might be a problem, YES , but, each of us have their own journey, and we all have things to learn. I have been blinded to crucial pieces of information until Spirit is ready to reveal.

I have to think it is for the “greater good” But it is quite the day in my house when I am finally “given the information” that could have saved us years of time and energy.

Me running around the house yelling “oh my God finally the smoking gun, why now, why not two years ago!!???” It is a brilliant moment.

Who am I to question Spirit, yet I do all the time. The truth shall set you free, but first it will piss you off.

Rest In Pieces

2008-04-12T18:52:00.000-07:00

The majority of my work is maneuvering around the dynamics of families who are still very upset about what they did not get from their deceased parents.

I've listened to scores of upset “children” who didn’t want to talk to a dead parent, even though the parent wanted to apologize for whatever wounds they may have inflicted during life.

The parents set up this dynamic. They set up the amount of love sprinkled or smothered on each child, and they now get to see the error of their ways from ...heaven.

It is a grave error for the living not to take the opportunity to hear an apology through a medium, -- I mean how many chances do we get to hear that?

In my heart it is never too late.

What I find fascinating, is that, in some cases, deceased parents know how their children are still behaving after they die and they want to talk about it.

What inevitably happens is a child from a dysfunctional family did not feel they got enough from one or both of the parents. So they silently scream by saying, “I did all the work and yet I wasn’t the favorite... I wasn’t the one mother loved more... I didn’t get enough... I am going to make my siblings pay for the fact that THEY got more love than I did... I deserve everything I can get my hands on. Gimme her shoes -- gimme his pipe -- her spoon collection -- give me something, give me EVERYTHING!!!! "

The wounded child's lawless heart, pushed aside true feelings while their parents were still alive. Still starving after the parents passing, the children now try to fill their gaping emotional holes with their parents belongings.

There was no love law in the house. There was no real justice -- so why should there be now?

Recently, I took a few friends to see another medium, Brian Hurst( who was the medium years ago who told James Van Praagh that some day, James would be doing this work) to get a feel for how other mediums opperated. This medium did not know me or anything about me. We sat down and immediately he started with me....oye.

“Your father is talking about Darcy and how greedy she got. He is most distressed about that and who took the jewelry. Why did she behave that way?”

I was shocked. Why would my deceased father need to address something that happened four years ago? Even though I do this work, I was still stunned he knew what happened and wanted to talk about it from "over there".

Darcy was my parent’s housekeeper, confidant of my mother and member of my family since I was six. She had been given money by the will, numerous household and personal items ,but it was not satisfactory to her, she wanted more. It was my sibling who had only some of my mothers jewelry appraised after it was removed from the estate, not all. Their scrambling for pieces of what was left of my family was very upsetting.

I realized, that their needy behavior and their deep resentment toward me was caused by my, manipulative, withholding and punishing mother. My mother using things to hold over their heads as a prize for their loyalty. It was evident that I was not the only person my mother hurt.

I understood their pain. It helped me forgive their shortcomings.

It is a blessing anytime we can see things differently; this was great gift from my father in Spirit.

The dead know what we do and how we really feel. They grieve as their children grab for the remaining pieces of their lives. They just know.

Great and Full

2008-04-01T23:36:00.000-07:00

Oh my God to be grateful. There are so many who have altered my course, enriched my soul, visited me in realms that illuminated investigation way beyond my comprehension. Souls whose journeys intertwine, slip in for a brief visit, or haunt me with memories to fill a day of rain.

It is an amazing journey to be what I think is a Spirit in a physical form. Being human is hard. The difficulties of human emotion is what makes humans so extraordinary and yet so vulnerable. How defensive one has to be to survive the roads, office, home and space of others, let alone our minds.

We are coddled here in America with the remote control to other lands. We do not have to slay the moose to eat. We are not forced to pray that our café will not be bombed, at least not yet.

I love the freedom of knowing that there is always more. I am so grateful that my blinders only come in hormonal fluctuations. That a mood can be altered by the brief laughter of a stranger, and that what I have learned is only the shimmering tip of an iceberg.

I love the trains in NYC that are a haven of humanity. Yesterday I sat with Yankee fans caught up in the emotion of winning. Those anonymous enthusiastic lives briefly shared, are welcomed, energy so infectious and invigorating; I ran home to do my laundry.

I have met those whose life is fleeting, and they hunger to stay, others who don’t like who they are and want to leave, some who know they will die in months and are resigned to moving on.

Any of you who come to my world and visit have left an impression. Oh my God I am so grateful.

The Resonance of Knowing

2008-03-30T23:49:00.001-07:00

When you meet me, you might wonder if you will be found out. Well yes,..... if I choose to look.

I don’t waste my time going where I am not invited. I try to have a life with out you in it, so let’s keep this about the work.

You have been to someone like me, or you would not be reading this. You think of me when a problem arises that burns with time and uncertainly that makes you want to hear truth, or help which is it for you? To me it is the same.

So you seek me out. I am not for first timers, I work best with smart, gifted people who are never afraid when they are with me, only what others might think later.

Perhaps in the morphic field of knowing is where I picked up these abilities. For certain I had to intuit what the next assault would be by hand or mouth; that day in day out lesson of protecting myself with “the knowing.”

You are anxious that someone at work will know you have seen me, and you a lawyer, a bureaucrat, a politician, studio head, doctor, therapist, behavioral scientist, law enforcement officer, Yale graduate, scholar , soccer mom, you want to know, but wont admit you have called me. You will talk about me to the closest of friends, slip them my card, or call me something that fits your story.

I can remember your dead relatives, not because I knew them in life, but because when you came to see me ten years ago, they showed themselves to me, their longings, sadness, their joy for getting the opportunity to talk again to you. They are my friends, and I remember them when you walk in a room.

Together we have a resonance of knowing.

At parties you smile when you see me, but you can’t stay to talk, you leave when someone inquires what I do. I can feel you in my radar, I welcome you. I will think of you , and you will call.. never really apart, together forever in the resonance of knowing.

It is lonely doing what I do. Those who need me, want me, and those who do not want to know, stay far away.

YOU be the Change

2008-03-28T08:07:00.000-07:00

I am making a promise to myself in going back into the “conversation”. The work I did with my life coaching mentor. If you hang with a group of people who think certain things, who “say” certain things, you become that conversation. I want to be around the people who want the conversation of transformation and growth but,…. for real. These are people who want to take responsibility for what they do and say in their lives.

The thing that concerns me about our national interest in change, is the fact that getting behind one candidate is not really about transformation, it's about getting behind someone. Now if you are committed to change then you don’t need a person to do that for you, you can do it, in spite of any person in the public doing it for you.

Once again it is the beliefs that we adhere to that create our lives. If you believe you need a redeemer, you will find one. What if you believed that you are a redeemer?
I don’t care if you are a democrat, white, back, female or a war vet. It is the personal responsibility to as Gandhi said " be the change you want to see in the world."It concerns me that people don’t think that they can do it themselves, they want someone to lead them.

In my opinion, the trouble in electing our last president was that we as a young nation still needed a “father” figure. Someone who would get in there and kick the sh** out of anyone who was hurting us. A veiled confident voice to tell us things that would make us feel better, as a father would speak to his children when they were too young to handle the truth. We still don’t really know the reason for all the Bush years, but as my Spiritual Cosmic Congress has told me,….electing GWB was about getting the opportunity to “see” things; the puppetry of the government. To have shadow exposed. A father playing cowboy, with real bullets. Are we really interested in the truth now?

Now, we have become a nation of exposure, the expose' of everyone. TV has become a tabloid contest in promoting narcissism. The news spins, twists and contorts information. The news papers that we believed were sound investigative places for truth , have turned Brittney Spears, a deeply wounded fading pop icon, into a headline. Why?

People are in pain and looking for anything that will distract themselves from their lives. People want change in their lives but from an outside source. They want drama to make them think and feel different about themselves. To watch someone rise to the top and fall is the pathetic entertainment of our culture. It takes courage to change these cutural illnesses, but it must start from within.

If you want change, start with what you cannot seem to be with.

Bigotry? Become tolerant and teach what you learn. Violence? Work with organizations to support your communities to keep you and your family safe.
Hate? Coming to grips with your own feelings about things is the first step, understanding that there is a history to those feelings , and working through them is crucial, to find compassion for yourself and others.

If you want to change things, you cannot continue to be around other people who do not speak the way you want to. Fraternization, is an incestuous way of becoming permeated with others thoughts . Surround yourself with people who are really interested in transformation. First with themselves, before they can make a difference in the world.

Who ever inspires you will tell you that YOU can do what they have done, perhaps not in the same way, but your own special unique way that colors the world.

Before you sign up for change BE that change you want to see in the world.

Psychic, Whats in a Word?

2008-03-21T23:02:00.000-07:00

This word leaves some people cold. What images get conjured up in people minds? Some strange short woman with an accent you can’t identify, bangled ears, head wrapped in a turban, beckoning you from a dimly lit door way? A con artist store front where you are told you have been cursed by a witch and you have to pay $5000 to get rid of it?

Before you shell out a dirty 20, check references.

There are crooks in every business one must be careful not to let your need for help drive you into a place of desperation.

Terrifying…I guess that is why some of us call ourselves clairvoyant. Now that sounds special, sounds smarter, sounds less cheap, sounds a bit stuffy to me. Intuitive? Ok…let’s call a spade a spade.

Look we are psychics, the North American Encarta dictionary says “a person able to perceive that which is beyond the range of human senses, relating to the human mind, outside the sphere of scientific knowledge extraordinary sensitivity to non physical or supernatural forces”

I will tell you how the psychic part works for me.

If I sit with you and you tell me you are having a house problem. I will allow myself to see in my mind your house. Sometimes it is the exact color, and I allow the vision to unfold…I can see the house then I might see the drive way, and it seems to be sinking in, cracking, and now I know why you are having problems,…I can “see” that the structure is compromised and then I might hear “ you can fix it, and you must go the route of the law…there is something wrong with the agreement between the seller of the house or the contractor , and they both may be liable"

I have provided the information that on some level you needed …and we move on…working “outside the scientific knowledge, with extraordinary sensitivities”.

In a week or two, or sometimes even a year, you might tell me it was true.

The Presence of Pinky

2008-03-21T07:56:00.001-07:00

Can you see what I see?

It hides in rooms where fear is the smell of the air, where no one can see it because of the buzzing highway of words, or where a distraction of hands are swatting irritating details of grand old stories bringing the past back to life.

More distraction like food, scuttled around for moving lips with heavy drink tossed down each throat to dim the eyes from seeing IT.

"IT", the F******g big ass pink pachyderm presence who has set up camp in the room.

I have been to homes where no one addressed the grandeur of this "being" taking up so much space in hearts and minds. So big that everyone does anything to avoid it.

Cousins Ruth's weight, the sexual tension between uncle Bob and sister Irene, the money John owes Jim, Diane's cancer, Daves affair, the fart that Fred sounded, daddy's drinking, the seething hate of a jealous woman.

The energy it takes to feed this beast is the energy of holding the space for it to be ignored. That's why it stays around.
Ignoring it feeds it, and it is happy to sit there waiting. Waiting for someone to acknowledge it and set it free.

Are we the animals in our own zoo? Caged by our abhorrent behavior, acting out with falsehoods, numbing pain with denial? Why are we holding our tongues, not setting free the truth? Name what it is and lets send Pinky packing.

Poop Free Zone

2008-03-04T02:51:00.000-08:00

There is no stink like the fresh steaming dump from a dog.

That contradiction of love and devotion from mans best friend, reminds us that not everything or everyone is perfect.

Dogs don’t pick up their poo, they don’t even have the decorum to bury it like their feline adversaries, I don't think they care, but we still love them.

This is a metaphor of what can happen when someone you are in a relationship with, won’t clean up their shit, instead they dump it on you.

If someone dumps on you what do you do? Explain it? Excuse it? Justify the dump?

pretend it just didn't happen?

You cant ignore it, the smell will remind you it is there. If you stick your finger in it, then you smell like poo too. If you stir it, well… you know. It is important we learn to say "no pooping here", an emotional zone of protection. Training others to curb their upsets. What happens when one has an "accident"?

There is something constructive we can do with poo. I suggest that we transform into into something we can use, but not sling.

Scoop it up, and take it to your garden. Let it transform to help something else grow.

My mother in-law once said “ a flower has to push through a lot of shit before it can reach the sun”, so do we.